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Allforthebroken · Mar 16, 2009, 03:53 PM

I've had problems with depression in the past but I've never officially been diagnosed with anything. I have a cutting problem and none of my friends try to help me, even though I do have someone else to talk to.
I've been to therapy before and it didn't seem like it did much. Lately I've been feeling extremely depressed and my constant thoughts of suicide are back. I've been cutting a lot more and a lot deeper than usual, I'm a mess.
I'd really like someone to help me, how do I stop feeling like the world would be better off without me? I really can't talk to my parents about it because they never listen and think I'd be better off living somewhere else and "making someone else put up with me." they are the main reason I started and am once again, thinking like this.
Please give me some sort of suggestion on how I can be a little happier than I am now. :(

jjwoodhull · Mar 16, 2009, 04:18 PM

Call a suicide hotline in your area. They are anonymous and they can recommend options close to you. You need help. You will not get out of your depression alone.

Life is full of ups and downs. There are still so many good things to come your way.

A great way to feel good about life and yourself are to help someone else. It could be something on a personal level - like helping an elderly neighbor of relative. Or if you don't want to get so personal then you could volunteer at a soup kitchen. It might sound crazy - but give it a try.

If your friends are not supportive, then it's time for new friends. Reach out to other kids in your class. Ask someone to study with you or to hang out after school.

If you are drinking or smoking pot, you need to stop. These are both depressants and in your state, you can not afford to be using.

Do you have any siblings? Or cousins? Reach out to them.

I'm glad you have reached out. Please, please call the suicide hotline now.

Allforthebroken · Mar 16, 2009, 04:21 PM

Thanks I will try as much of your advice as I can...

callmejaygatsby · Mar 19, 2009, 02:17 AM

Hey. I never did the cutting thing or the self mutilation (ok I did it once with an eraser. I started to erase the back of my hand until it started bleeding) I was always more about drugs and alcohol. My life got to the point where I tried to OD on drugs and they sent me to psych ward. All I can say is... keep going... as hard as that is for me to believe at the moment with all the I am going through, just keep going.

The words I try to live by are "one day at a time". If you take it a day at a time, you find out you have less to worry about. Worrying about one day at a time helps you manage the things going on in your life.

As for your parents, well I have difficult parents as well. I find it useful to just take everything they say with a grain of salt. I guess the first step of getting to that point, is to find your worth. I can suggest many reasons ot why you should live, but ultimately its up to you to figure out one reason to why you're a good person or someone whose worth something. I highly doubt your as bad as you think you are... maybe you're just hard on yourself.

This person who talks ot you, do they understand what you're going through? I am sure they carea about you and your wellbeing. Why not try to spend more time with them, talking about why things are so bad and HOW to fix them. I know I used to spend a lot of time just talking about how bad things were instead of trying to fix them. But as for the want to stay in this world... remember to take it one day at a time. And with your parents, grain of salt. They are not always right you know. I think you know yourself better than they do.

Oh, just reminded me or something. You say that your parents don't listen... I think they do. I think they try at least. My experience isn't that people don't listen, its just the simple fact that they don't know what to listen for, or how to listen for that matter. You got to understand that some people just don't have the capabilities of understanding the depth of your emotions and feelings and you kind of just got to accept that. Think of it as like, those people aren't capable of understanding and since you are, it makes you a person worth while.

I don't know, sorry I'm rambling a lot. I don't think I really helped you, sorry. I am just really effin tired and messed over at the moment. Sorry

Clough · Mar 19, 2009, 02:30 AM

Hi, Allforthebroken!

I have some activities that I like to do with people on this site that can help them to feel better about themselves. If you're interested in what they are and in participating in them, please let me know.

Thanks!

red-tulip · Mar 23, 2009, 12:59 PM

You should see a phsychologist and maybe some pills . It will help you 100% . Do it before u hurt yourself.

red-tulip · Mar 23, 2009, 01:00 PM

Sorry I correct it "phsychiatrist"

liz28 · Mar 26, 2009, 07:09 PM

Recently I came across this and would like for you to read it. Suicide: Read This First

If you live in the USA you can call these suicide hotlines anytime of the day because their open 24/7:
1) 1-800-273-talk
2) 1-800-999-999
Or you can look for crisis numbers in your phone book. Crisis numbers are usually found at the front of the book.

jjwoodhull · Mar 26, 2009, 07:11 PM

Hey, Allforthebroken, how are you doing this week?

ibrown · Mar 27, 2009, 02:47 AM

Pray sweetie... god heals all wounds... he is the only one who can permitly remove these thoughts.I am praying for you may god bless!

ibrown · Mar 27, 2009, 02:50 AM

My bad he is the only one tha can permanently remove it!!

nadialee83 · Mar 27, 2009, 03:02 AM

I also suffer from depression, I saw every kind of doctor alive and they didn't help. Then I met one that I totally clicked with it took a while but I finally got there,it took the doctors over six months just to get my medication right as each different medication affects different people differently, So my advice to you would be. Hang there find a new doc and if he or she is no help move on to another it may take awhile but I can see you getting there.

Clough · Mar 27, 2009, 03:35 AM

Hi again, Allforthebroken!

I hope that you noticed my post that is #5 in this thread.

Thanks!

L-001-06-H · Mar 29, 2009, 07:27 AM

Need to realize it all comes down to you.. you are capable of simply not doing it.. I have tourettes, witch is neurological.. it all comes down to resisting.

Now that's easier said than done, and takes immence effort, I know. You simply have to find something meaningfull. Find something that appeals to you in ANY way shape and form, something that doesn't rely on ANYONE else. And when you do accomplish something, DO NOT BRUSH IT OFF! When you have something accomplished, be proud of yourself. And don't be afraid to brag about it to your friends "i did THIS!" (just make sure they know what's going on with it) and keep in mind, what anyone may say to put you down means NOTHING.

Thoughts of suicide: I'm in the same boat... just fight it, and keep the spirit of "i wont give up, i REFUSE TO LOOSE!" and help people. I help people, because it helps me to know I'm doing something with myself, that I'm making a difference, that at least there's SOME use with my life. That's why I'm here right now.. kind of puts things in perspective... all the I deal with, it leads me to post here, and everywhere I do... let that fuel your fire. And find something you like.. and run with it. Constantly push forward, and NEVER slow down or turn back.

And last but not least.. don't blame anyone else for the crap that goes wrong... they may have a part in it, they may have been a part of the trigger.. but that's only one part. First, there're more than one factor to lead to something like this.. second... they can't cause anything you don't allow... and this isn't to put you down.. it's actually an amazing concept, because when you realize this, you also realize that if they can't cause this.. they can't keep it in the same state. They can't cause anything you don't allow.. they also can't cause this if you decide you won't allow it. :)

A friend of mine is in the same boat with all that, including the cutting.. she re-invented her look, she got obsessed with music, and I forget what else she did.. but she took something she liked, and it helped. :) just do NOT rely on a relationship for this. I enlisted in the Marine Corps.

Resist.. fight it and refuse to loose the fight. And try new things, just BE SAFE ABOUT THEM.

Hope I could help.. be safe, take care.
-DETATCH

ROSEYBLUE · Mar 29, 2009, 10:12 AM

I don't really know how to help as I am having a prblm myself but 1thing that you could try and do instead of cutin.. I always write a poem.. sumthng helpful because all emotions you put on paper and you forget about everythng and when you c the results ul be smiling because you wrote sumthng really cool