Why did he do that?

bex27 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:37 PM

My ex broke with me about month so ago. Said wanst ready for relationship and that wasn't me as was special etc but wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. Said in time might be. Wanted to be mates. Couldn't as still loved him so much and this was all so out blue to me as erverything was great. Tried to persuade him for ages to change mind and wouldn't budge. Wouldn't meet, pick up phone etc. In end tried again a bit later to meet and he said that he hoped was betterm,that he met with ex and that he was going on hol with her as mates and they weren't together etc. He deleted me from Facebook and said was best so don't speak etc and then soon as he did he changed relationship status to in a relationship so was with her. This was less than a month maybe even 3 weeks after we split. Know that was less time than that and in fact they may even met as little as week so after. Was all this not ready stuff an excuse? just seem too odd that would get with someone so quick after and keep thinking I must have been awful or something for him to move on so quickly! I am angry as he has lied so but in sense still want him back but he so angry with me and last time spoke he said he felt was storking and that he bar me if contacted again. Just making me x as have all these questions, want him and can't work out why he wants her and he won't answer them. Should I try contact again or should I forget him? Please help as still love him... :confused:

phoenix1664 · Mar 23, 2009, 12:48 PM

You need to let him go he has made up his mind and trying to get him back will just cause you pain trust me. This is exactly what I went through a few years ago actually I put it up here 2 she left me then was with another man within a few weeks. It is best to let them go you will heal and find someone so much better for you to make you happy.

A mouse · Mar 23, 2009, 12:50 PM

Hard to read but I think I got the main point. You were in love with your boyfriend then he dumped you with the excuse that he wasn't ready. He tried to make you feel less upset by saying it wasn't you it was him, then a few weeks later he was with one of his ex's. You still don't know if him and the ex were together as in dating, but you believe they were. That kind of thinking is understandable, but really it might just be a personal assumption of yours. Now, after hearing about this kind of breakup a ton of times over the years, I'm almost certain that he simply wanted to break up but was too spineless to do it directly. Basically he's hoping that your feelings for him will die down in this time away from him so he won't have to say "We're officially over."
I'm sorry, really I am. Best wishes to you. If you want to ask anything else about this situation or have no one else to turn to please instant message me on AIM, the screen name is on my profile.

talaniman · Mar 23, 2009, 12:51 PM

Forget him, and your right, he probably has been going behind your back with this female, until he was sure he was going back.

He is right about one thing though, and that's to leave him alone, and stop checking his Facebook out.

bex27 · Mar 23, 2009, 02:57 PM

Thanks for your help and answers. I do know he is with her for sure. Seen pictures and know from his mates. Think he may have cheated but know he def with her 2 or 3 weeks after me so must meant little. Yep I guess I have to let it go. Hope meet someone decent again as he is the first person really thought I could be happy with you forever!

talaniman · Mar 23, 2009, 04:20 PM

Hope meet someone decent again as he is the first person really thought I could be happy with you forever!

LOL, we all say that after a break up, amazing!!

bex27 · Apr 5, 2009, 04:49 AM

Yep he is with a girl now... deleted me from Facebook. They were togther about 2 weeks after me, he has now blocked me from Facebook and although trying to make peace he won't speak to me. He has lied so much and I hate it in so many ways but yet can't bear thought him being happy whilst I am miserable and still love him despite everything. I haven't contacted him again for ages now but yet weirdly still want him, why is that?

talaniman · Apr 5, 2009, 07:46 AM

You still have attachments, from those feelings you once had, and have not really moved far beyond them, as yet.

Don't worry, you will, in time cope better, and see him in a different way, and the feelings won't be as intense, or fresh, in your heart.

It takes time, so be patient with yourself.

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