[sqeked]

I have recently become a widow. My husband of 18 yrs. Had become sick. He was 20 yrs. My senior. In 2001 he began drinking again; after stopping for 11 yrs. In the years between 2001 and 2003 he had at least 3 strokes. When I hospitalized him he was dehydrated- badly- and sugar was way up there. Since then I was told he had "alcohol dementia." His health declined. His memory was that of a 4 yr old sometimes. In Feb. I lost him. Due to complications from pneumonia.
My question is this- I want to look into home health work for the elderly. I have one I'm interested in that is asking for references and salary. I'm having a hard time writing the experiences when all I have is the time I took care of my husband- who passed away- while under MY care. And very little help and encouragement from Hospice! I did a little work in a nursing home years ago. I don't want the letter to sound negative. I'm afraid since he passed away, I don't want the prospective client to think I'm inadequate to care for their loved ones if I couldn't take care of my own husband. I think really I'm still going through the grieving process- still angry over the whole thing... but I want to help others. I know it will help me. It's my nature.
I just need some advice on how to word the letter in a positive way. My attributes. Even though I don't have certification to do this kind of work. Its more the caregiver position. Not RN type stuff. I guess all I can do is try and write it. And lead up to the point of his death; without mentioning it. That's where I'm stuck. If I get considered, that's when questions will arise. And I suppose I'll have to give the answers to the best of my ability and hope they except them in a positive manner. Right? Riiiggghhht:o

[Wondergirl]

Over the years, my family had female caregivers come in to their homes to care for elderly relatives. These caregivers were not trained for medical care, but would spend the day at the house, be there to fetch and carry, make nutritious meals, wash dishes, do laundry, do light cleaning, add some social life/conversation for the homebound person, watch TV with them, welcome guests and play hostess, play cards or do jigsaw puzzles, etc.

Make a list of each non-medical thing you did to care for your husband. I often see ads in my local paper seeking such a caregiver, to be that warm body and helper in a relative's home when a family member cannot be there because of work, etc. I would think your references would be of prime concern, since no one wants to entrust a relative to a potential thief or abuser.

[sqeked]

Thank you wondergirl. This gives me a better idea on how to present myself. The person you described is what I would like to do. And I know meeting me in person will help a lot too. I'm relocating, so its hard to do that right now. To reply to the ad, is being done through the newspaper via a third party. All I can do is try. Maybe I'll get at least a phone call... and be considered. Otherwise, I can go through employment agencies that hire for just that- Gentiva, etc.

[Wondergirl]

Thank you wondergirl. This gives me a better idea on how to present myself. The person you described is what I would like to do. And I know meeting me in person will help a lot too. I'm relocating, so its hard to do that right now. To reply to the ad, is being done through the newspaper via a third party. All I can do is try. Maybe I'll get at least a phone call...and be considered. Otherwise, I can go through employment agencies that hire for just that- Gentiva, etc.

Just remember, you will not be dispensing meds, although you might be a reminding person, "Sylvia, did you take your pink pill yet? It's 2 o'clock already." You could help with going to and from the bathroom or a portable commode, with hair combing and washing (full body or at least face and hands), assisting someone who uses a walk-in shower, reading mail or magazines or a book to the person -- and again, the social aspect of this job is most important, so the homebound person has social and intellectual stimulation.

[Wondergirl]

You won't be doing any kind of medical work, nail clipping, etc. although light massages or hair washing and head massaging or setting up a schedule for meds with family members' approval... there are so many things you could do that are non-medical.

[Wondergirl]

The more I think about you and this job, the more excited I get! So many families want to keep their elderly loved ones at home as long as possible, maybe until they die, so this kind of work would have great appeal to people. I remember how relieved my own family was when Mrs. Pace moved in with two of my elderly aunts. Mrs. Pace became one of the family eventually.

Of course, you wouldn't have to move in and live there, could be just a day worker. And the fact that your husband died has nothing to do with anything.

[sqeked]

Yes, I'm looking at both options- live in or not. Thank you for the incouragement.