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carrieee4 · Feb 21, 2009, 06:42 PM

My son is 24 and never married. Because of the unsteadiness of his job (house repairs) he still lives at home. I don't mind I have a large house with 3 bedrooms that would not be in use. He just recently found out a girl he wasn't with long had a child and after DNA testing was determined the father. The baby is 5 months old. The mother was on serious drugs when she dated my son and even has bragged about sleeping with men for drugs in my sons car and truck when my son was working. She now lives with another boyfriend's parents. Neither of them have a job and she says she is pregnant again. The situation seems very bad for this baby. My son has gone through and graduated from drug rehab for pot. He is concerned about his son's welfare while with this girl. I am too. The more I hear about her the more I worry. Now she wants us to visit the baby but because I was ill we didn't go last week. I felt as a teacher if I wouldn't go to school and be around children sick I shouldn't spread my germs around my grandson. She said we could see the baby this weekend but then she never returned our calls about when to come over. My son said this is her way of getting back because we didn't do what she wanted the first time. My son would like to get full custody of the child or at least shared custody where he would have the child 2 weeks and then she would have him 2 weeks. My husband and I have agreed to make a bedroom a nursery for my grandson and that my husband who ran an daycare with me and was certified for day care some years ago is home during the day while I teach and then I am home when he works evenings. We agreed to help my son to take care of our grandchild while he works. My question is what dose my son needs to do to get custody or shared custody of his child? We live in Ohio.

stevetcg · Feb 23, 2009, 09:34 AM

Go to court and ask for it.

stevetcg · Feb 26, 2009, 10:52 AM

carrieee4 agrees: nothing like a smart butt

Sometimes simple questions deserve simple answers. :) There really isn't anything more to it than that however.

carrieee4 · Mar 7, 2009, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Sometimes simple questions deserve simple answers. :) There really isnt anything more to it than that however.

I guess my real question is what should he be doing to get things in order before he sees a laywer?

ScottGem · Mar 7, 2009, 06:43 PM

That's why you go to an attorney, so the attorney can give you a list of things to do to prepare for court.

One thing he does need to do is document her drug use.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 7, 2009, 06:44 PM

And the answer is nothing, the longer he waits, it shows he does not have a issue with the mother having the child.

He should have went for a formal custody agreement as soon as the child is born.

Now what should he be doing, full time job, show he is off drugs for a period, but he has what he has. Proof of the mothers drug usage, and showing how the mother is a danger to the child.

And at the end of the day it may come down to what judge you get and their opinioin of a fathers custody rights

JudyKayTee · Mar 8, 2009, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by carrieee4

I guess my real question is what should he be doing to get things in order before he sees a laywer?

That's the purpose of an Attorney - to advise what is and what is not needed. Also, you have no legal standing here, although I realize he still lives at home, with you.

This is your son's legal problem.

carrieee4 · Mar 9, 2009, 03:38 PM

Unfortunately he did not know about his son when he was born and only has know it is his child for a little over a month. She is not real cooperative with him visiting. Alwas agreeing then pulling out. My nephew who is a lawyer said to wait till she files for child support then disagree with it and go in ab out visitation and shared custody to start with that but my gut tells me this is not the way. She is putting off going in about the child support. I am off on Friday this week and I told my son that he needs to go and file for hearing on what child support he needs to pay on his own so that she cannot say he doesn't want to pay for his child. He does. I guess I need to have him talk to another attorney. I just don't fell comfortable with my newphew.

ScottGem · Mar 9, 2009, 03:54 PM

I wouldn't feel comfortable with your nephew either. His advice is good ONLY if your son doesn't want to be a part of the child's life.

But your son should NOT file for child support. What he should file for is full Legal and Physical Custody. He may have to settle for Joint legal custody and visitation, but at least his relationship will be formalized. If the mother wants to counterfile for child support that's fine. But if he gets full or primary physical custody, then it will be her paying support.

carrieee4 · Mar 22, 2009, 04:51 PM

Well now this girl and her current boyfriend has been kicked out of his fathers house. Now she is living in her 3rd county. She says she will soon be back in our county because she is now having her number come up for metro (low income housing) in our county. My son and I agree she doesn't have a job-or permanent home for the child, this is the 3rd place they are living at(a friend of her current boyfriend) in about 6-8 weeks. He talked to my nephew who said it is time to go for custody that we now have something we can use to prove that it is in the child's best interest to live with his dad at our house. I'll let you know what is happening when something new comes up.