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scorpio24x · Mar 20, 2009, 12:16 PM

Hi guys, here is the deal, My girlfriend and I have been together for almost six months, yesterday we had such a wonderful day together and everything was so perfect but today in the morning she calls me as usual , we were talking and she told me something. There is this man who is married but bothers her a lot, bringing her food everyday , always trying to give her something but I know his intentions. So he went out of the country and brought her a ring. Time ago I told my girlfriend that I don't like that because I know his intentions so I told her not to accept anything from him so today she tells me that , she also tell me that it was in her job so she said no at the beginning but he insisted so she took it and put in on the side. Well , I got mad at there for that , in my opinion its like she accepts something from someone who has other intentions so that bothers me a lot. She said that she didn't expect that reaction from me because she was trying not to hide anything from me but I Was so mad that I told her to break up. I know I'm so stupid for saying that but I didn't control myself. Now she is mad and sad , she even cried . I don't know what to do I called her to apologize but I feel she doenst even want to talk to me now. We might go back together but I'm scared that she will start hiding things from me because of my reactions . What can I do to get her to trust me again and SHould I go see her and buy her flowers or something like that , or Do u think this is not the moment to do so Please tell me what can I do in order to be like always . Thanks

what2do27 · Mar 20, 2009, 12:28 PM

What everyone says on here is to have No Contact... if she's stubborn I don't like that idea but go with it.

Hand write her a letter apologizing.
Then have no contact, it'll be her move.

Justwantfair · Mar 20, 2009, 12:32 PM

How is accepting a ring from a married man part of her job?

scorpio24x · Mar 20, 2009, 12:33 PM

NC won't work because we love each other and Im the one who did wrong for creating a big problem out of something small. It was my fault and we have a strong relationship but this time I messed it up so bad

scorpio24x · Mar 20, 2009, 12:37 PM

She didn't want to accept the ring , but he insisted a lot . It all happened at work and she said she didn't want to start arguin with him so she took it and just put it on the side . I think if she had something to hide she wouldn't even tell me...

Romefalls19 · Mar 20, 2009, 12:40 PM

Give her time and space to cool down, you were wrong. She needs to take time and cool down to think rationally. Give her this respect as you owe it to her

Justwantfair · Mar 20, 2009, 12:42 PM

I am not suggesting that she had anything to hide. She may have a bigger problem on her hands and you weren't supportive, instead you got upset with her, but she NEEDS to handle this situation for herself and you. Married men SHOULD not be giving female employees rings. She has two important reasons to tell him she doesn't want the ring, one he's married, two she's spoken for.

You need to give this sometime to blow over, you lost your cool and she needs sometime. Give her some space, then rediscuss the situation again in a few days when things have calmed down. Tell her you overreacted.

In the future, you do not use breaking up as a solution to frustration. It can only instill abandonment issues for your partner for knowing whether she can ever depend on you, if you run at every problem.

scorpio24x · Mar 20, 2009, 12:47 PM

Tonight she has classes at college , so I was thinking on giving her flowers to apologize. I don't know what you think but now I think that its better if I don't don't anything , not even call and just wait for her to call me. The last time I told her was that I love her and I was going to wait for her to calm down and contact me but if she didn't , I would go look for her ( letting her know that I won't give up on her). So is flowers a good idea? Or just wait..

Romefalls19 · Mar 20, 2009, 12:55 PM

WAIT! Dude, you blew up at her for being honest, give her space to cool down and collect her thoughts

liz28 · Mar 20, 2009, 03:46 PM

If she is getting unwanted attention from this guy at her job she needs to do something because this guy sounds a litle nutty and creepy.

If he works with her she needs to inform her boss so maybe they can talk to both of them together by having some sort of meeting. There have to be some sort of rule against this behavior.

If he doesn't work with her she still needs to inform someone so that he won't be able to get in there to bother her.

The last result would end with her going to the cops.

As you stated this can put a strain on her in workplace. She should be able to go to work everyday without being harass so she needs to do something quick.

talaniman · Mar 20, 2009, 03:58 PM

I don't go in for begging, but see as how stupid your reaction was, I would give it a few days, then apologize like you never have before, and be prepared to be put through the ringer, and rightfully so.

Your bad behavior aside, know the effects of blowing up, and dumping someone who came to you with honesty, and looking for support, and maybe a few suggestions. What she got was rejection, and humiliation.

That's not the worst of it,

I think that its better if I don't do anything , not even call and just wait for her to call me. The last time i told her was that I love her and I was gonna wait for her to calm down and contact me

If she has any self respect, she will be waiting for you to grovel at her feet.

At least send her an apology, then wait, and see. Flowers?? Okay! You have to make the first move, because you were the idiot who started it all, so its your mess to clean up.

Ren6 · Mar 20, 2009, 04:43 PM

I'll be the lone dissenter. Why on earth is your girlfriend accepting gifts and attention from a married man? He's married. Why on earth doesn't she tell him she's not interested? She should ask him to cease and desist all overtures, or she'll take out a restraining order on him. If he violates this order, the police should be called. Otherwise, it seems like she's stringing him along. That's just my two cents worth...