[inertia]

Throughout my life I have dealt with periods of doubt and confusion. I have lost my focus before. When I have it, I'm a pretty sharp guy and nothing stands in my way. However I dated a clinically depressed person for almost two years and instead of rubbing off on her, she rubbed off on me. Self-doubt, sadness and lethargy have taken over. I want to get back to how I was but now I can't get out of my own way. Any advice would help, aside from seeing a counselor, as I see that as an absolute last resort.

[tickle]

Yes, being around someone who has an otherwise unhealthy personality, depression, not sound in mind can be draining on a person who functions normally. Did you think you could change, or help her function correctly? Not so and I have run into this situation before.

A counsellor as a last resort ? But I think that is your only option. Other then that a very expensive vacation to get away from it. You choose... maybe a vacation ?

The tick

[inertia]

Well it wasn't my purpose for entering the relationship. I wasn't out to save anyone. I didn't even take her "depression" that seriously because I saw no cause for it. Yes though, I did think I could help her function correctly after I realized she was truly depressed. Her self-examination began to direct itself towards me (which at first didn't have any impact). That is until she got better at it. She started poking holes in my self-esteem. I know I have a lot going for me but as I said, I can't quiet the inner-skeptic anymore. How have you run into this situation before (if you don't mind elaborating)?

[roxypox]

I've struggled with depression myself, on and of for from age 11-22, and now and again since age 22 the feeling of being depressed comes and visits me from time to time (I'm almost 26)

I do think that seeing a counselor is a good idea, not just because I've had a good experience with it... but also because it might take a little soul searching to get to the bottom of it and to re-build yourself esteem.

Dating a depressed person can def. rub of a little, especially if she took her "self-searching" and used it on you.

Seeing as you are struggling with yourself esteem... what do you struggle with, if you don't mind me asking...

And you say you used to be a focused guy... are you in school? Are you working towards a certain profession?

[jjwoodhull]

Who are the positive, motivated people in your life? Start spending more time with them.

[inertia]

Well... not to tell a story but I lost my job (company went bankrupt) recently as well. I have a new job, but I'm working on changing my profession. I have goals (I'm not utterly hopeless) I just have trouble focusing on them. My self-esteem isn't lacking so much as it's hungry to be back in a more healthy place (hope that makes sense). I have surrounded myself with better people but let's face it. Everyone has their issues. To answer your question roxypox, I wonder if I'm really as good at reading people as I thought I was. It's hard to regain confidence in myself when people are telling me I need counseling (the snake that eats itself). I feel too defensive right now to open up to a counselor.

[Sunflowers]

You could try surrounding yourself with upbeat people who have positive attitudes about life, it might rub off. Use positive self talk too, set small goals and reward yourself when you reach them.