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juggalosolja13 · Mar 17, 2009, 01:25 PM

I've been over weight for the most of my life so I was picked with true scool and my mother took me out and home schooling me but I have unusual thoughts and dreams of killing the ones who basically tortcherd me on the daily bases is their something wrong with me

Sunflowers · Mar 17, 2009, 02:02 PM

I think you are spending too much time thinking about past events instead of concentrating on the here and now, like studying your spelling. Kids are cruel to each other at schools. You aren't there anymore so why get caught up and become stuck at a low point in life? You'll feel better if you use your energy in positive constructive ways instead of stewing about revenge on a bunch of shallow school yard bullies.

Texie Studstill · Mar 17, 2009, 02:02 PM

Im no professional and you should consult one, but it sounds to me like your pissed off at the people who made you miserable. We al have people who have done that to us and we all have dreams about getting even with them.If you really think that this is more than anger just go to a shrink and tell him/her about it.

ashey23ole · Mar 17, 2009, 07:47 PM

Would you ever act on these thoughts, is most important.

KatiePlce · Mar 17, 2009, 10:55 PM

I actually went through the same thing ALL through my school days from the beginning of middle school down to high school... I actually had NO FRIENDS in middle school, I was teased and I felt ugly and had no one to eat with I would go home for lunch cause no one would eat with me.

At the last year of middle school my mom pulled me out and I was homeschooled also. I later went back in high school. Still no friends and I was bullied.. I droped out and got a GED cause I hated everyone who had friends and was very jealous I can say that I did too want to hurt people who hurt my feelings. NO YOUR NOT CRAZY.

I'm now 22 and the past is the past I PROMISE you once you get older you will forgive the mean comments and mean people who hurt you because when your YOUNG and IMMATURE you say DUMB things all THE TIME. Kids are cruel a lot of the times but most grow out of it & I'm sure they will regret what they said to you because do you think that when they get older and have a family they want there children to be teased by other kids? NO its wrong what they said to you & you feel the way you do because its only natural to want to hurt them back but just let it go & work on yourself.

justcurious55 · Mar 18, 2009, 12:38 AM

I don't think you're crazy. But I agree with texie, you should see a professional. You have a right to be angry at these people, it was wrong of them to treat you that way. But no good can come from you staying angry and miserable. If you stay angry, they still control you. But if you can move on and take the energy it takes to be angry and use it to do something positive, it'll just be so much better for you.

juggalosolja13 · Mar 19, 2009, 09:09 PM

OK you guys I understand you trying to be helpful but I'm now at home being homeschool but I mean I am not dealing with it now but I have thoughts I mean I think I'm crazy because I think as bad as it sounds I feel sometimes it would feel good to actually do theas things I have twisted thoughts I scare myself sometimes I had this dream one time where ihad all of those ungreatful basterd in one area and I just started running and cutting heads of with a katana throwing axes at them... I don't know if your offended by what I said about the dream I'm srry

ashey23ole · Mar 19, 2009, 10:39 PM

If you act upon them, I would see someone that would be able to help you express your anger in other ways.

Also, it may help if you wrote a letter to them, writing down how they made you feel and even write how you have feeling to hurt them. Then burn or dispose the letter. Let it be symbolic of you getting over the hurtful things they said. Once you get it all out of your system, maybe you will feel better?

I don't think your crazy. I think you need better ways of releasing anger than through disturbing thoughts.

justcurious55 · Mar 20, 2009, 08:50 AM

OK. You don't seem to be getting the general theme in everyone's responses.
WE DON'T THINK YOU ARE CRAZY BUT YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP WORKING THROUGH YOUR ISSUES.

kanicky73 · Mar 20, 2009, 09:00 AM

Having thoughts of harming anyone in such a vicious manner or thoughts of intentional murder are not good thoughts to be having and you need counseling. Do you think it would be wrong if you killed them? Or would it be some type of justice in your eyes? That's the difference, if you know that its wrong and because you know its wrong you would never do it. But if you sit and think of ways to act out your plan that's another problem. Either way you need to ask your mom to get you some counseling so you can learn how to deal with these feelings in a healthy way. Everyone gets angry at someone at some point in their life so you are not crazy to be angry with them. But wanting to actually kill them is not good. Please get some counseling.