[Aunt_153017]

Sister-inlaw is in jail and is mother to 3 kids. She left them in her mothers care but her mother just resently left her husband of 28yrs and now all 3 kids are terrible up set and want to come live with me and their uncle. I need to find out how to get these children legaly bound to a safe and stable environment with their uncle and I.

[stevetcg]

If their current guardian (grandmother?) agrees to it, it is a simple assignment of guardianship. You go to the courthouse and tell them what you need to do. Everyone signs, maybe talks to the judge and he orders guardianship.

If their guardian does not agree, you are facing an uphill battle.

[dontknownuthin]

The easiest way would be if all the parties agree. Grandma may see it as a relief, and the children's mother may be willing to sign over temporary guardianship while she is in prison. If you can get everyone to agree, contact a social worker with your county government and ask how things can be worked out. Given that the children's mother is in prison, they will probably manage this through social services at no cost to you. You may be able to be designated as foster parents to the children, and in that case you would receive some benefits such as medicaid and a modest monthly stipend to contribute to their support (not enough to live on but it helps).

When you approach the grandmother and mother, don't do it in a way that criticizes where the children are at now. They may get defensive and feel you are saying they are not doing things right. Rather, just say, "I don't know if you would be open to this but the children asked if they could live with us, and we've given it a lot of thought. We looked into the schools and other things, and if you would be open to considering us being their foster parents until Mom is back on her feet, we'd like to tell you about it."

If they are totally resistant and you feel it's worth the friction, you could still contact the county and find out how to petition to change their living situation to your home. They may not want to touch it if the children's basic needs are being met and they are where their mother wants them, but if they have concerns, they may be eager to put the children in a better situation.

My hat is off to you for thinking of these kids. Whatever you do, I would not make any promises to the kids and keep updates and details to a minimum. YOu can just tell them, "you need to live for today and make it the best today it can be and I'll see you as much as I can. I know you want to live with me and I would like that too. I'm looking into it and when I know something I will tell you, but these things take a very, very, very long time and you need to accept you will be with grandma for quite a while." That way, they will know you are being honest, and will understand that they need to invest in the moment.

HOpe that helps...