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Loving mommy · Mar 16, 2009, 04:47 PM

I had a relationship with this guy we were not dating just having sex(ONE) night unprotected and I got with child, once I told him he wanted me to get an abortion and told me that he would have nothing to do with my child. Now three years later he wants a DNA test to prove that he is the father. He told me he does not know me or my baby and really does not have room in his life right now for him. So I told him when we go to the child support office to wave his parental rights and he told me that is nonsense that he has to still pay child and wave his parental rights. My question is How do I get his right wave and get sole custody of my son? He had been in my care the whole three years of his life he only saw him at the testing site. I thought he would want to be a part of his son's life.

nikosmom · Mar 16, 2009, 05:03 PM

If it was a one-night stand I'd say it's not likely that he's suddenly going to feel lke having a family with you. Sad that he doesn't want a relationship with his child, but you can't force him to suddenly want to be "family guy". What were the results of the test?

He can not voluntarily waive his parental rights unless there is someone ready to adopt your son- if you are planning to marry and say your new hubby wants to adopt the baby. Otherwise he is stuck having to step up and accept the consequences for his actions.

You don't think he should have to help provide for your son? He doesn't have to be in a relationship with you to take care of his responsibility. Now that you've had the paternity test (and assuming he turned out to be the father) he doesn't have an option. If you are receiving public aid of any kind, he would also be responsible for paying that money back.

stevetcg · Mar 16, 2009, 05:06 PM

He cannot just waive his parental rights and he is still going to be required to pay support.

You seem to already have sole custody of your son. What is it that you are looking to change?

ScottGem · Mar 16, 2009, 05:08 PM

I moved this to the Family Law forum because it's a legal issue. This forum has hundreds of threads dealing with a similar issue.

Bottomline is a person cannot waive their rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so.

You can still get sole custody, especially if he doesn't fight it, but he's right, the courts are not going to let him out of paying support if the child is his.

cdad · Mar 16, 2009, 07:22 PM

What can be done and he agrees to in front of a judge is that he doesn't want visitation. Child support will be granted at the maximum levels and as far as him being the legal father he may get joint legal custody. He still will be obligated to child support etc. Also at a later date if he changes his mind he can always go back to court.