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Krs · Aug 8, 2006, 12:37 AM

Its seems like the gig-saw its placing itself together, slowly but surely, am very happy for you, you deserve it :)

Wildcat21 · Aug 8, 2006, 09:46 AM

Give him that kiss Holly.

DJ 'H' · Aug 9, 2006, 06:23 AM

Really? I just so nervous to do anything - in case I am reading the signals all wrong?. He is probably thinking the same - but how can I be sure?.

Krs · Aug 9, 2006, 06:25 AM

Noooo, I would let him make the first move..

DJ 'H' · Aug 9, 2006, 06:26 AM

Well that's what I thought - but he has never been one to be forward or make the first move... so I don't know what to do for the best?

Krs · Aug 9, 2006, 06:32 AM

I would carry on as you are going... and maybe time will tell more about his feelings.
You don't want scare him or push him away.
Its s tricky one thou!

talaniman · Aug 9, 2006, 06:34 AM

Hi Holly, You always give such good advice its so strange giving you advice, but just be patient and assume nothing . You know what YOU have to do so stay the course. YOU and Pete, GO SLOW, very slow. You both have to work together for the baby's sake but you well know that rushing a personal relationship is poison, so just go very slow and keep the lines of HONEST COMMUNICATION open! Praying for you all!

kp2171 · Aug 9, 2006, 06:45 AM

Kiss him?? I think its way too early. Kiss him? Really? I just don't agree with that advice at all, and I'm really surprised wildcat said that. If it were anyone else but holly writing hed tell that person to have no contact for 6 months... though the presence of the little one does change things.

The guy puts you through all of this noise and then after a few feel good moments you are supposed to kiss him... I don't think so. If he wants things back as they were I think he's got a lot of work to do. As in MORE than he was doing before. More certain of what he wants, more vested in you and the baby, more everything.

I just don think it's a good idea to go there until there are clearer signs that he really has the same intentions as you.

I met my wife after her daughter was born... so different circumstances. But her position then was she was never in a relationship that she didn't see the potential for moving forward, as in possibly marriage. She had a daughter to care for, and had no interest in vesting energy in meaningless or dead end relationships.

This did NOT mean every date or new guy was approached with the idea of "i want to marry him and soon"... my wife is NOT a clingy, needy person... it meant that as the relationship progressed naturally, shed think about it occasionally and figure out if it felt like there was more to come or if it was stalled out. If she ever felt like there wasn't that forward vibe, it was over.

You have a history with pete. You want him in your child's life. And you obviously do want him in your life. Nothing wrong with that.

But if you were my sister id still be angry as hell for how he's been, and hed have a hell of a lot of work to do before I could see him without putting him to the wall.

I think its great you guys are starting to get on a better path. Just take your time and stay focused on yourself. If he cannot get up the passion and the drive to come after you, then is that what you really want? I think you deserve to be pursued with meaningful intent and desire. Lets see if he has it in him.

Wildcat21 · Aug 9, 2006, 08:23 AM

I meant a simple peck - not a full blown make out.

But taking it slow is king.

DJ 'H' · Aug 10, 2006, 06:29 AM

You guys have cerainly made me chuckle... KP2171... I know exactly where you are coming from.. My instincts are telling me that Pete and I are far from over and that I should not give up hope... however I know he has a lot of hard work to do to prove he can be trusted not to do this to me again; especially now our child is involved. I am not going to just accept him back without him working for it and proving himself... and be patient is definitely the way to go. Don't want to make more mistakes.

Krs · Aug 10, 2006, 06:42 AM

Exactly because one learns from their mistakes.

Wildcat21 · Aug 10, 2006, 08:23 AM

YES! Pete is young... he WILL make mistakes!

DJ 'H' · Aug 10, 2006, 11:10 AM

Well, I do think he is starting to realise what an idiot he has been, but it's like his dad says it will just take some more time?. the whole space thing seems to be working and from where he is sat I am getting on with my life... The tex he sent asking me how I am started... "I don't mean to bother you..."

DJ 'H' · Aug 11, 2006, 12:02 AM

I can normally take my own advice, but this situation is so different from any I have ever been in... it rather baffles me at times?. I am so thankful to have all of you; don't know what I would have done otherwise... so thank you so so much :)

DJ 'H' · Aug 31, 2006, 06:28 AM

I AM HAVING A GIRL... MY LITTLE ISLA ELIZABETH.

Pete is being really good, turning up unexpectly to help me move my disco kit, lending me his car, came to the second scan with me.

Every time I pop round his to see his parents he finds a way to keep me there chatting and I'll end up staying for a cuppa, or having tea.

I had his brother and his brothers girlfriend round the other night to watch a DVD I invited him and he came.

We talk for ages every time we pass each other and the other day when my friend was washing my car, he came out and had a right giggle with us... just like he used to when we were together.

... what do you all think..?

JoeCanada76 · Aug 31, 2006, 06:34 AM

Its progress, I personally would still be curious on what the hell happened. Like others have said just take your time. At least now he seems interested in the baby and you. That is a good sign. Everybody goes through situations, some people learn from them and some do not. It is all about letting go of the past hurt and moving forward to even happier times. Smile and Congrats on the little girl.

My wife and I have less then a month to go before our little one is born.

Joe

DJ 'H' · Aug 31, 2006, 06:34 AM

My little Isla Elizabeth :)

talaniman · Aug 31, 2006, 06:41 AM

I think he's finally woke up. I also think his family has been slapping his head about how he treated you. I think you should go slow and not put too much on Pete as he is in a different world ,but it is so encouraging that he is back in the picture. Your happiness is a relief to those that are going through this with you and I hope it gets better. I also get the feeling he will spoil little Isla and she will wrap daddy around her little finger but don't get jealous, just take a bunch of pictures. Give him time and space, you know how us guys are, we are kind of slow when it comes to reality, just ask my wife if you don't believe me. Keep us posted DJ and good luck.:)

Krs · Aug 31, 2006, 06:58 AM

I think he has realised what he lost! And that now he could lose not 1 but 2.

I have to say your attachment pic is amazing Holly, so so clear.. Its making me all brudy :)

Good Luck, I wish all the best xx

Wildcat21 · Aug 31, 2006, 08:20 AM

Well, as we have been preaching here the last year - TAKE IT SLOW!!

This is a marathon with Pete. You're doing greta by not applying pressure - that was the best thing in the world you could do. Most young women would have nagged, begged, cried, pleaded, stalked, threat etc. for him to come around.

You laid low and gave him the space he needed. Excellent!

This WILL take more time. But, you have handled it sooooo well so far.

Your baby is GORGEOUS!!