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    freeskier1776's Avatar
    freeskier1776 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 10, 2009, 04:41 PM
    How can I get her?
    I like this one girl a lot, and she likes me as a friend. But she also has a boyfriend but her friend told me they might be breaking up soon. So any help on what I should do or how I should act on this?
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #2

    Mar 10, 2009, 04:49 PM

    She has a BF at the moment so you shouldn't do anything but leave her alone.

    IF she does breakup with her BF then she needs to be single for a while (a few months) to get over her emotional scarring.

    If you were to get into a Relationship with her straight away you would just be the Rebound.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #3

    Mar 10, 2009, 05:10 PM

    If your not sure what a Rebound is read this article...

    Following a painful romantic break-up, some people enter into a new relationship almost immediately, often with less-than-stellar results. Dating too soon after an emotionally charged break-up is known as a rebound relationship, and is almost always considered a bad idea for all parties involved. A person in a rebound relationship may have great difficulty distinguishing between the old romantic partner and the new one, for instance.
    Whenever a romantic relationship ends, whether amicably or painfully, both parties should allow themselves to go through a real grieving process before pursuing new relationships. In essence, there has been a "death" of a valued relationship, and few people can recover from such an injury in only a few days or weeks. While the prospect of dating someone new, especially someone who has been kept off-limits during the old relationship, may sound like a cure, a rebound relationship rarely, if ever, ends well.
    Another problem with a rebound relationship is motivation. Some people who feel victimized or humiliated by a bad breakup may feel the need to start a new relationship simply to prove they are indeed over the old one. Some rebound relationships are primarily directed at former partners, either in an effort to generate feelings of jealousy or to remind them of what they gave up. Neither tactic is a particularly healthy reason to pursue a rebound relationship, and the new partner is not always as understanding or conspiratorial as one might hope.
    There are times when a person may feel he or she has fully recovered from a break-up and is truly prepared to re-enter the dating scene, but this may be a premature assessment. If a new relationship starts too soon after a painful break-up, the new partner may become little more than a sounding board for all of the negatives intended for the former partner. Constant comparisons to a former boyfriend or girlfriend can be a sign of an unhealthy rebound relationship, as well as the careful avoidance of almost all dating venues associated with the former relationship.
    Because there will almost inevitably be a new relationship following the dissolution of an old one, it is important to recognize the difference between a new healthy relationship and an unhealthy rebound relationship. Much like a widow or widower, a spurned partner may want to establish a reasonable hiatus from dating until he or she is emotionally ready. Personal counseling may also help prevent someone from entering into a shallow or unhealthy rebound relationship until his or her self-esteem has been fully restored.
    There is nothing wrong with wanting to seek out companionship following a painful break-up, but you owe it to yourself and your new partner to make sure the new relationship is based in reality, not a ghost in the machine.

    Source: wiseGEEK: clear answers for common questions
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    Mar 10, 2009, 05:24 PM

    I am sure this girl knows you like her but she only likes you as a friend so why ruin your friendship with her by wanted to be more when she doesn't.

    I should there are other girl where you live so find one that is single and available. It not uncommon for one friend to like a friend more than a friend when your friends with someone of the opposite sex but you can control your feelings and urges so do so.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #5

    Mar 10, 2009, 05:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    but you can control your feelings and urges so do so.
    And even if you can't control your feelings you can control what you do about them!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Mar 13, 2009, 11:09 AM
    If you can't be a friend, then leave her alone, and don't be a vulture!

    Vulture- A character that circles around waiting for something to die, so they can feast on what's left.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #7

    Mar 13, 2009, 11:14 AM

    Boyfriend= = off limits

    Nothing much else to say, be a friend if you can, if not then walk away
    LittleJimmy's Avatar
    LittleJimmy Posts: 4, Reputation: 0
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    #8

    Mar 13, 2009, 11:37 AM

    I agree. If she has a boyfriend then you need to move on.
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #9

    Mar 13, 2009, 12:08 PM

    Hon, she has a boyfriend.

    It doesn't matter if her friend says they are about to break up.

    She has a boyfriend.

    She is off limits. Not available. Period.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #10

    Mar 14, 2009, 11:00 PM

    If you truly love her you can be there for her as a shoulder for now as a friend and she might see you differently down the road and notice how you have always been there for her. Don't act anything on her right now though since she has a boyfriend.

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