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mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:14 AM

I will try to keep it short and sweet - last night while looking on computer for something I logged into partners email account to get the info I needed about something we ordered - I found many many emails from dif women - all sexual in nature - I checkedhis sent messages and since march 08 he has been chatting up women - aking for pics of them - asking to meet with them etc etc
He has joined many dating sites and regualy uses chat sites - as my darling was in hospital recovering from a nose op I sat and read threw them and was physically sick.
I gave birth to his daughter 9 mnths ago and due to have our son in 6 weeks - wile I am in bed sleeping he is chatting away to women about sex.
I have confronted him and he says its just a bit of fun when I ended the relationship he says I am over reacting as he has not pysically touched any how is it cheating - I am totally devastated.

mudweiser · Mar 11, 2009, 11:24 AM

Oh lordy. I have been through what you have. It was a major bump for my husband and I- a biggie. I confronted him, I even left him for a while.

You need to print those emails and whatever account he had [I did that in case I needed it for court if we were to divorce]. Since I still had those papers when we got back together we burned them together which felt good- it was a symbol to me like it'll never happen again.

The best thing to do is to collect yourself, how do you feel? What do you want to do? Talk to your spouse about it. Discuss it. Go see a councilor.

It's been almost a year since "it" happened and to tell you the truth my husband and I are stronger as a couple than ever, we are genuinly happy.

I'll be here for support- keep us posted.

MRS.S

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:31 AM

It took me a long time to learn to trust him and he knew my past ( 11 years of domestic violence) from my ex - but slowly over last 18 months I thougt he dif - he has totally disgusted me and I can not bear to even look at him.
The women he chats too sends dirty pics and this is all while I am in bed at night or out the house while he is supposed to be looking after the children

Romefalls19 · Mar 11, 2009, 11:38 AM

Yes, it is cheating. Drop this guy and think about the children and yourself

mudweiser · Mar 11, 2009, 11:38 AM

I really know the feeling. I remember I vomited, I lost wieght because I felt so disgusted. If you really want to leave -which I can understand- then do so. Right now is the best time than to string it on any longer- why do that if you don't want to work it out.

Was he apologetic, crying anything when you found out and told him? My husband was wow at his worst he was very sorry!

Well if you want to work things out then do so if not simply leave. It's not a "forgive and forget" type of thing either- my husband knows that if I find out if anything like that happens ever again [or just plain-out cheating] I am gone. Stay strong!

I'm here for you,
MRS.S

starlite1 · Mar 11, 2009, 11:48 AM

I would definitely call that cheating; emotionally cheating even though he hasn't physically been with these women. I wouldn't put up with this at all. It is one thing to have pictures of models, sexy women, magazines etc, but to actually contact these women and have their pics? No, not right at all. This in my book shows what he is capable of and I think it would be in your best interest and in the interest of your children not to carry on this relationship.

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:48 AM

He denied it all made out I was making it up as I must want rid of someone - hen it was I must be doing it to know so much about it - to admitting it all and saying we were going threw a bad patch - that must have lasted from march 08 to days ago - I will never be able to ever believe a word he says again so see no point in working anything out
I just wanted others opinions to if it was cheating as he seems to hink it was harmless fun and flirting only

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:49 AM

Sorry can not even type I am that upset lots of spelling errors

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:51 AM

It was disgusting - it was him messaging these women left right and centre like some desperate pervert send me a pic lets chat type of thing - then a few seedy emails to lets meet up - I feel sick at thought of looking at him.

mudweiser · Mar 11, 2009, 11:54 AM

Wow! He denied it! Did you send some of those to YOUR email? Did anyone see them- did you show a family member,friend?.

This guy is unbelievable, the fact that he Won't own up to it definitely shows some of his character. This man is a coward. Leave before you drive yourself nuts by doubting his every move and passing the crazy to the kids.

MRS.S

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:58 AM

My dad read them after I broke down he did not believe me so I said look and read he was shocked - yes he denied it at first then admitted it all after saying it all my fault as I been pregnant the last 18 mnths and never gave him attention etc - this is the man who sits on his arse all day while I work 12 hr shifts 7 days a week from home to make sure he can have the very best of everything - I feel used and filthy at thought he was doing this then climbing into our bed

mum2five · Mar 11, 2009, 11:59 AM

He due home in 10 minutes so have to log off as do not want him seeing what I have wrote - but I will check back as soon as I get afew minutes

mudweiser · Mar 11, 2009, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by mum2five

he due home in 10 mins so have to log off as do not want him seeing what I have wrote - but I will check back as soon as I get afew mins

You shouldn't be scared of him [or scared of him knowing you are PISSED!]!

MRS.S

-- So he admits it but in a way to have you to blame- how classic. He has no cojones. This marriage ended the day he logged onto those sites [you can tell him that!].

You are the primary breadwinner- you CAN leave with your children, better yet kick him to the CURB! Call his momma and tell her that her little boy is ready to be picked up.

starlite1 · Mar 11, 2009, 12:13 PM

Sweetie, Mudweiser is so right. He is a coward and he doesn't deserve you at all. You need to be rid of him.

talaniman · Mar 11, 2009, 02:49 PM

His behavior was very bad, and really inappropriate. Ignore him for a week, and make him sleep on the couch.

When you have calmed down you can think better, but making a rash, impulsive decision, when your not only pizzed, but pregnant, is not wise.

Just let him stew in his own juice for a while. How old are you both?

liz28 · Mar 11, 2009, 03:25 PM

Why doesn't he have a job if he has a family to support? He isn't much of a man if he isn't bringing nothing to the table but a list of complaints while his pregnant wife is out working to support the household while all he do is have "fun" over the net by talking to other women. He should be looking for a job instead of crusing dating sites.