[shyfoxie]

My boyfriend is a bit inexperienced (as am I), and he'd never gone down before he was with me. The first time we got to 3rd base (to use the cliche) he asked if I wanted him to, but when he got there he started good, but then stopped and said he had no clue what he was doing. Without getting too graphic, I sort of guided him a bit, but the problem is he knows how to work his hands/fingers now, but still is nervous about oral. I mean, I'm getting off all right, but I am very curious, especially since those first few licks felt great.

He's started trying baby steps on his own initiative, a couple random licks now and then during foreplay, and I asked him if he felt comfortable with it once (he said no, and looked rather disappointed with himself), but he seems to be getting more interested in it. Once he was fingering me and I asked "you wanna?" I meant whether he wanted to cut to the chase and give me some lovin', but he immediately asked if I wanted him to go down, and he was smiling at the time, but I really, really, really needed some penetration right then, so I declined.

He's never pressured me into anything, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable since he's willing to start trying, and I've given some very positive feedback when he's made attempts. Other than than I'm not sure to help him. Also, I'm very sensitive down there and he has rough hands. Doesn't hurt, but I might really enjoy a softer touch.

[smoothy]

Same way as with his hands... guide him verbally as to what feels best to you. You might have to figure it out but he certainly won't without some help.

I mention that because hypothetically if it was me doing you I would have to try different things until I saw a reaction from you. That takes time (and I do know what I'm doing unlike many)... and what might work perfectly fantastic with my wife, might not do it for you as decades of experience have taught me.

[DSM521]

Well it sounds like you have a good start going here. You guys are communicating about it which is the most important thing. Just keep giving him the positive feed back and let him know even though he is a beginner and he feels like he does not know what he is doing, what he is doing you like very much. I think he will come around and start to enjoy it very much.

I think oral is one of those things that people either like or not. I personally love giving my wife oral and could do it for hours. She on the other hand is not a big fan of giving it and it shows when she does do it. I don't get mad at her its just not her thing, she does other things very well so it's a compromise. I am happy, she is happy, its all good.

Try to focus on the things he does well and have fun working with him on the things he has never done before. It may not be his cup of tea, but if that is the case you can still be totally fulfilled sexually exploring other ways and things that you like.

[shyfoxie]

He is trying, it's just that he appears to have serious performance anxiety. I know there's plenty of advice for how a guy can get a girl more comfortable sexually, but less on how to ease a guy's mind. Otherwise the relationship is all good, and I'd almost be fine with just manual stim and intercourse, but I guess I'm curious, and now that I have a taste of how good his tongue can feel, I wish he'd be able to take me all the way with it instead of just using a little of it to jazz up other activities.

[DSM521]

He is trying, it's just that he appears to have serious performance anxiety. I know there's plenty of advice for how a guy can get a girl more comfortable sexually, but less on how to ease a guy's mind. Otherwise the relationship is all good, and I'd almost be fine with just manual stim and intercourse, but I guess I'm curious, and now that I have a taste of how good his tongue can feel, I wish he'd be able to take me all the way with it instead of just using a little of it to jazz up other activities.

Have you told him you want him to take you all the way to orgasm with oral. From what your saying I don't see where he would have a problem with it. You say he is self conscious about it but if you are telling him he is doing a good job and you wanting that much he should know he is doing something right.

[shyfoxie]

Have you told him you want him to take you all the way to orgasm with oral. From what your saying I don't see where he would have a problem with it. You say he is self conscious about it but if you are telling him he is doing a good job and you wanting that much he should know he is doing something right.

I'll try letting him know how much I want it, I've been trying not to make it seem like I'm pressuring him, but on the other hand I've also made it seem like I might not care about the subject as much as I do, which isn't helping. Which is strange as we're pretty open most of the time about everything else we do, and he even keeps a bottle of listerine in his room because he knows I like giving bjs and I know he doesn't find the taste of my mouth after that appealing. We work things out whenever there's an issue, I'm sure we'll get this problem licked (bad pun, I know).

Would flavoured lube help him? I got some one time to use on him, but I found I liked the au natural taste much better than the cheap-pineapple-candy taste.
If it's a good idea, could someone suggest a good brand?

[smoothy]

He is trying, it's just that he appears to have serious performance anxiety. I know there's plenty of advice for how a guy can get a girl more comfortable sexually, but less on how to ease a guy's mind. Otherwise the relationship is all good, and I'd almost be fine with just manual stim and intercourse, but I guess I'm curious, and now that I have a taste of how good his tongue can feel, I wish he'd be able to take me all the way with it instead of just using a little of it to jazz up other activities.

All he needs is encouragement... with experience come being at ease doing it. Like with my wife... she didn't know how when we got married... so with patience and guidance she got comfortible, built up her skills and now she is completely at ease doing it... and knows what pushes my buttons.

So just take it one step at a time... consider it a learning experience for both of you.