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shtnsweet · Mar 11, 2009, 03:39 AM

Ok I am new to this... My 16 yr old son and his 18 yr old girlfriend had a baby 2 months ago.. and she has been threathening him before the baby was born about paying child support and her mother also when they have a fight... Ever since my grandson was born its been hell for us my son goes to school and she doesn't all she does is sleep well that's all she wants to do my grand son has been in the hospital twice already once for polyloric stenous everything went well then just last week was in hospital again for RSV.. and need breathing treatments and this girl doesn't do them only when she wants I fear for his life... and what else that wull happen top this little boy my son does all he can for him but is not enough for her and we don't know what she wants last night my son was told that she is signing the baby over to her grandmother the baby great grandma and my son has no say in the matter because he is only 16 I feel he has as much rights to this baby then anyman that fathers a child please help me I am lost here and don't know what to do...

Fr_Chuck · Mar 11, 2009, 04:37 AM

Ok, I will address this from legal, not personal so if it sounds little rude forgive me.

1. is he on the birth certificate ?

2 is not has he went to court to get a DNA test to prove he is the father

3. since they are not living together, has he went to court to get a custody order, giving him visit rights

4. and of course he will have to pay child support, why should he not, so it is not a threat, it is merely what is going to be required, if he is not working, it will be set at the state min amount.

So he needs an attorney, he needs to file for either joint custody or at least visitation in court, he needs to get a child support order in place at the correct amount ( and never pay in cash, pay either though the court or with a check to prove payment)
** the check needs to be from him,not from you, so he will need his own checking account.

J_9 · Mar 11, 2009, 04:41 AM

Also from a legal standpoint, depending on where you live, she could be charged with statutory rape.

cdad · Mar 11, 2009, 06:27 AM

And 1 more for the soup pot. Your son is only 16. So there may be a way for you as grandparents to ask for custody depending on your state laws. Since he is 16 he is not emancipated therefore can not sign legal documents without a parents consent. That may be a legal loop hole for you to jump through. Again this all depends on your state laws. Its complicated when one parent is a minor and the other is not. But he has rights.. he just needs to get in court to have those rights aknowleged.

shtnsweet · Mar 11, 2009, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Also from a legal standpoint, depending on where you live, she could be charged with statutory rape.

Yesthats what I said also.. but someone told me that we can't because she was 17 when she got pregent and he was 15... so I don't know

J_9 · Mar 11, 2009, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by shtnsweet

Yesthats what i said also ..but someone told me that we can't because she was 17 when she got pregent and he was 15...so i dont know

It all depends on the laws of consent where you live.

shtnsweet · Mar 11, 2009, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

And 1 more for the soup pot. Your son is only 16. So there may be a way for you as grandparents to ask for custody depending on your state laws. Since he is 16 he is not emancipated therefore can not sign legal documents without a parents consent. That may be a legal loop hole for you to jump through. Again this all depends on your state laws. Its complicated when one parent is a minor and the other is not. But he has rights .. he just needs to get in court to have those rights aknowleged.

Yes he does and that is what I have told him otherwise he will lose his son for good because she is a real Bit*h But right now he is not thinking clearly because he is young and she was his first girlfriend and you know what so he is thinking with his **** not his brain... and he is so confuse he doesn't know what to do and I can talk until I'm blue in the face and he just gets mad...

shtnsweet · Mar 11, 2009, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ok, I will address this from legal, not personal so if it sounds little rude forgive me.

1. is he on the birth certificate ?

2 is not has he went to court to get a DNA test to prove he is the father

3. since they are not living together, has he went to court to get a custody order, giving him visit rights

4. and of course he will have to pay child support, why should he not, so it is not a threat, it is merely what is going to be required, if he is not working, it will be set at the state min amount.

So he needs an attorney, he needs to file for either joint custody or at least visitation in court, he needs to get a child support order in place at the correct amount ( and never pay in cash, pay either though the court or with a check to prove payment)
** the check needs to be from him,not from you, so he will need his own checking account.

Yes he is on the birth cerificate
No he has not he won't go against her because he is in love and they are no longer and item but I guess he thinks if he does what she wants they will get back together which will not happen
Yes I understand he will have to pay child support we are not fighting that at all . But I did tell him that she has to take him to court for that..
Yes and he is still in high school and does not work , and yes we know he will have to pay the correct amount which is the state min. because he is not working like I said we are not fighting that... he will pay he is just in so much love for his child she is ripping him apart with all the threats... and I hate it

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 10:38 AM

Unfortunately, if he is going to allow himself to be manipulated by his ex, there isn't much you can do. He needs to start acting like a man and deal with things the right way... and that means getting his rights established and enforced by a court.

shtnsweet · Mar 11, 2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Unfortunately, if he is going to allow himself to be manipulated by his ex, there isnt much you can do. He needs to start acting like a man and deal with things the right way... and that means getting his rights established and enforced by a court.

I apprecate what ever you have to say Unfortunately I wish he did , and what TV show do I know it and I'm glad you're a great dad my son will be also... again thanks

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 12:53 PM

Put it to him this way: in general women respond to men who take charge better than they do to men who are doormats. By taking charge of the situation, he makes himself more appealing to his ex.

Sure, it's a blanket statement that may or may not apply to this case... but he's 16 and this seems to be the only thing that matters to him.

twinkiedooter · Mar 11, 2009, 07:05 PM

And for my 2 cents. Please get the DNA testing even if he's on the birth certificate. This way there is no guessing involved down the road. Hopefully it's not too late to do this.