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P31 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:19 PM

She's my daughter even though :confused:

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I have been in a committed relationship with my spouse for 3yrs. We have a 9 month old son together. We both have children from previous relationships. Neither of us were married to the other parents.

My spouse along with our children spend great family time together and are very close. I / we accept each others children as our own. His kids call me mom!

My spouse was never married to the kids mom. They have been apart for over 10-13 yrs. One of our daughters (his daughter)is getting married. My daughter has chosen another lifestyle and I may never see the "Traditional Wedding" for her.

In my spouses past relationships, the kids mother has been a thorn and caused much upset. She has even stated to others "Regardless of who he is with he will always be hers!"

My spouse raised the children without her, after she abandoned them because of a drug and alcohol problem. She has not been a supporting parent in the past and may not be contributing to any payments for the wedding.

Our daughter has included me in her search for gowns, I have attended bridal shows and much more.

What is proper for the Wedding festivities ahead of us? Please Help!

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 10, 2009, 11:26 PM

Could you be more specific in your question?

P31 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:45 PM

How should we be seated at the wedding? How should the receiving line be handled? How should the table be arranged? Am I/ should I be included?

The mother in the past has a history of causing confusion... while I don't want to step on toes, I do want to be included and my feelings to be important also.

Again I even though I did not give birth to her, I love her as if I did. I want to be included. I don't want to contribute and be hurt.

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 10, 2009, 11:48 PM

Have you asked her opinion on these things? Does she want super traditional or does she want to set her own rules?

P31 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:52 PM

I have not asked her. I wanted to invite her to breakfast or lunch and talk about it. I have been searching for answers. I wanted to walk softly and hope that she would make the right choice. However, I the mother has moved in with her this weekend, and she has been rather hush hush. Her planning has been traditional so far.

P31 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:56 PM

I don't want to attend if she is going to have her dad escorting her mother all day... to me that would be hurtful. I don't want my contribution to the wedding to be a factor or her respect... I also don't want to be used for my contributions where her mother can't afford to help.

P31 · Mar 10, 2009, 11:59 PM

I would be offended if she scheduled her father to shadow with her mother and leave me and her little brother out in the crowd. I think it would be very noticeable and ad fuel to the mother's undieing fire.

P31 · Mar 11, 2009, 12:00 AM

No one seems to ever stand up to the mother... they allow her to make a scene and say "She Crazy, just ignore her!" Everybody just ignores her. You should hear some of the stories told in the family.

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 11, 2009, 12:01 AM

You only need to post one post.

But I agree. This is up to her though, you can always suggest it. Say something like, "So how traditional is this wedding going to be?"