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esculentpcat · Aug 20, 2006, 06:22 PM

My niece is 14 yrs old and has lived with her grandmother (her mother's mom) up until last year or maybe the year before. Her mother abandoned her and her father (my brother) wasn't able to take her in until just recently. My mother has also taken her from time to time.

Now my brother can't keep her because he is in jail, so I was going to take her in and start her in school where I live. However, her grandmother doesn't want to let her. This would normally be OK with me, except I think that my niece is doomed to be pregnant in a few years and end up ruining her life due to lack of guidance. At 14yrs, she reads on a 4th grade level and is behind in all other school subject. As of right now, her only goal in life is to have children and live on welfare, or be a bank teller. She is smart and could be greater than this, but she has no help where she is at. Her grandmother does nothing for her at all.

My mother wants her to live with me, but we aren't sure what we can do legally to get her from her grandmother. Then I need to also be her legal guardian so I can enroll her in school here. Where do I start? What do I need to do? How can I get her?

dunno · Aug 25, 2006, 10:31 AM

Can't you take the grandmother to court and sue for custody? DOes the grandmother have legal custody of the girl?

dunno · Aug 25, 2006, 12:21 PM

And when your brother took her in, did he have custody or what was the situation?

esculentpcat · Aug 25, 2006, 01:03 PM

Thanks for your response. I have been calling around trying to get all of this information because that is what everyone else asked me. The grandmother doesn't have custody or legal guardianship. She is on record for reporting their mother with abandonment, and is receiving aid. No one has custody of her so I'm filing for custody on Monday. I was just concerned about taking her from her grandmother's house without knowing all of the details. Now it may be settled. I'm going to get a lawyer and hopefully it will be taken care of. Thank you.

dunno · Aug 25, 2006, 01:06 PM

Glad to hear you're getting things figured out! I wish you and this little girl all the best! Good luck!

s_cianci · Aug 29, 2006, 10:39 AM

Why did she not continue living with her grandmother? The fact that she was with her grandmother for essentially all of her life will carry great weight but that could change depending on the circumstances that led to your niece leaving her grandmother's care. Try to document any concrete evidence that you can which shows that living with her grandmother is not in her best interests. You have to be able to show actual neglect or endangerment ; mere speculation won't fly in court. Try talking to school officials, friends and neighbors. Does she stay out past curfew? Has her grandmother been unresponsive when the school has contacted her with concerns regarding your niece? Does she do inappropriate things when in her grandmother's care such as smoke, drink, use drugs, have boys spend the night? Again, you'll have to able to prove these by at least a preponderance of the evidence ; just saying that you have suspicions won't cut it. Getting witnesses who'd be willing to testify to these things (if they are indeed occurring) will go a long way towards making your case.

LUNAGODDESS · Aug 29, 2006, 11:03 AM

Which grandmother does nothing for her? One of them have kept her for a time... that deserves a lot of respect... keep personal opinions out of conversations when speaking to this 14 year old... it will be used against you... reading at 4th grade level... is their a hearing problem... have you check her sight... poor eye muscles can cause reading delay problems... have these checked out... hire a tutor for the evening and the week ends... get her on birth control... she is at risk now... the challenges as just began... are you ready for this... the 14 year old will do all she can to get your attention and she will challenge you to see if you really care about her or if you are mad at her grandparents and had been using her for your personal means... I am not trying to hurt you... just trying to prepare you... professional help is necessary right now!. this is a serious decision... a child is at risk... the burden of her survival is dependent on society and you making a difference...