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crystrinnjosh · Mar 9, 2009, 08:07 AM

Hey I got pregnant in June of 07 I didn't know who the father was because I had slept with more than 1 guy, but I had ideas. I waited until I was 4 months to tell one of the possible fathers because me my new boyfriend had broken up and I needed support, by that time (september 07) he was already in another relationship because our sexual encounter was just sex no relationship or commitment. When I told him that he may be the father he said OK. Well I found his new girlfriends myspace and started writing her lies to break them up but it never worked and just started a lot of drama back and forth between all of us so in return he never went to the doc or had anything to do with my pregnancy because his girlfriend was pissed at me and he didn't know for sure he was the father. Well we talked periodically while I was pregnant and never could agree on anything so I started telling everyone in the town he was from that he was the father and I also stole his girlfriends pics off her myspace of him and put them on my page as my babydaddy even though I wasn't positive to piss her off, me and him were always arguing because of the drama. Well in January 08 his girlfriend found out she was pregnant and I was pissed cause I wanted to be a family with him so I started being a to her again and started trying to lie and break them up. I went into labor in march and I called him and told him, he came to the hospital for the birth but I ended being mean to him and telling him to wait in the waiting room so he left and didn't see the birth, he came back the next day and saw the baby and didn't sign the birth certificate. Since then we haven't got a paternity test and he has seen the baby only a handful of times because his girlfriend/baby mama doesn't want him around me cause of all the drama I started and because we still haven't gotten the test plus they got a baby that he knows is his. Soooo a year has went by and her b-day was march 7th and I was wondering how I would go about getting child support and if I could get back child support for the whole year even though I never petitoned the court for child support of a paternity test and even though I wasn't sure if he was the father and he wasn't sure either?

nikosmom · Mar 9, 2009, 08:23 AM

Well, first of all when you petition for child support, the 'father' automatically has a right for a paternity test at that time. In NC (may be different in other states), you are entitled to child support from the date you file, not necessarily the date the child is born.

Curious, have you contacted the other potential father(s)?

Your daughter is a year old and you need to find out who her father is. Whoever he is, he is entitled to know he has a child and she should have the chance to get to know her father. You need to focus on getting the paternity issue ironed out instead of trying to get back with the one night stand. At this point, it's safe to say that you two aren't going to be together. He is already involved with someone else so he is off limits. It seems you got your feelings caught up in something that was strictly casual and it's time to pick up the pieces and move forward. For your daughter's sake.

Even if this guy turns out to be the father, time to grow up. Let him be a father to the baby but understand causing drama isn't doing anybody any good. He can be a father to his child without you two being in a relationship. It happens all the time.

Justwantfair · Mar 9, 2009, 08:39 AM

Wow, I don't even know where to begin.

First you can not collect child support for a time that you did not have an order in place and you have not filed. You can file a child support petition against this guy but please know and I expect YOU SHOULD feel a huge obligation to request a DNA test for paternity. You are unsure who the father of this child is and this guy is unaware of your uncertainty and may not request a DNA test, but you have an obligation to yourself, your child and him to correctly identify the father of your child.

Next, GROW UP, you are now a parent and a role model to a very impressionable person and you are acting like you are fifteen years old. This is a pregnancy and a child and you were behaving like you have not a lick of self-respect at all. If you are not confident with yourself as a person, please seek out counseling, like a said a very young person is dependent on you.

You aren't even sure that the man you are harassing is your child's father, first thing first, you need to confirm whether he is or is not. If he is the father, you do NOT have the right to create chaos in his life! If he is the father he will have obligations and rights to the child, but a relationship with the child DOESN'T and shouldn't involve you. If you are seeking support and a paternity test to further harass him in your efforts to burden him into a relationship with you, just know that will not work.

Good luck to you, you have a lot of growing up and internal evaluation to do. Be this child's role model, right now thanks to situations beyond your child's control, he/she is already without a father figure, don't disadvantage the child further by being a poor example of adulthood.

cdad · Mar 9, 2009, 05:23 PM

Print off your question here and head to the nearest child support agency and let them tell you what to do. Your going to need a line up to get this taken care of so the proper father can be found.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 9, 2009, 06:30 PM

Yes, you will need to have all the possible fathers tested and /or find out who the real father is first of all.

You just picked one you wanted and made his life hell. That is not going to be a lot of help.

After you know who the father is, you get a custody order, he can get visits ( visit the child, not you) and then you can get child support.