[xxDMBxx]

Well, I have known this girl for a good 4, almost 5 years.. I have always loved her as an amazing best friend. But this is how I used to feel about her about a year after I met year, so this is how I USED to feel about 3 years ago.. I have always been there for her when she needed me and we always hung out and saw each other at school everyday.. We connect very quickly when we talk to each other and seems like we always think alike and understand what each other are going through. Her presence always made my day, when I would see her, my body would just light up with excitement. When I look into her eyes, it makes me feel like I have no problems in the world and everything feels perfect. Her hugs are the best, and make me never want to let go.

See I met her in 7th grade, and after she broke up with one of my best friends, I just comforted her in her time of need. We grew so close to each other after that. We would talk on the phone for hours, sometimes all night. Once we talked so late, we had to get ready for school in like an hour. We would talk about our day and just tell each other every single detail. We saw each other everyday, hung out almost every weekend. We would tell each other everything, we could trust each other with anything. We always understood each other and helped each other out with our problems. She would make me arts and craft collages and send me 2-4 paged letters on Christmas saying how much she loved me. I was the happiest I have ever been. I told her once I think that I loved her, but she seemed like she seemed shocked so I then quickly was just like I'm just kidding ( so I never got a good reaction if she did like me or not ) and I think we both never talked about that again. We still remained as close as we are. Then when we graduated 8th grade and went to separate schools.

When we went to 9th grade, for the first 2 months we still seemed to talk a lot. Then she started talking about this new kid she was crushing on in school, being a friend I supported her and wanted her to be happy and everything. Eventually she started dating this kid. The kid smoked pot, went to a lot of parties, drank, hooked up with every girl ever. He was a terrible infulence. So eventually My best friend started to do all of this with him, and being apart at separate schools I kind of took a vacation from her since she was with her new man. So I stopped talking to her a very very long time maybe like 4 months. I felt like I no longer needed to talk to her for some reason, so I didn't answer any of her calls and just blocked her out of my life. ( I regret this mistake till today.. ) So we pretty much stopped talking for a good amount of time.. And I don't ever remember how we started talking again, but we did about 5 months later, during the summer going into 10th grade I think.. I saw her at the mall during summer and just something about seeing her again made me think why did I ever stop talking to this chick...

But yea, we came back on good terms, she says she forgave me.. but deep down I don't think she did. We still talk now but it just seems like things aren't the same anymore. Like we hang now and then, and when we do I feel like she isn't the same girl from middle school. She's not as like happy it seems when we hang out, like of course she isn't frowning the whole time when we hang out, and she laughs and smiles just doesn't feel right. We don't seem to instantly click anymore when we talk in person. She has definably changed from middle school and since we don't go to the same school I don't know if she just acts like that around me or if she's always like that at school or what. Just seems we lost that connection after I stopped talking to her.

All I know is that I love this girl, with all my heart. I'm not sure if I love her as a friend or more. She has a beautiful soul, and a heart with good intentions. I think she is also gorgeous on the outside, I just don't know if I'm physically attracted to her, or just as a friend. Please Help! Sorry for the long page, just need to like vent and tell someone this.. pretty much the only thing I haven't told my best friend.. :(

[talaniman]

Slow down here a minute. You both have changed, as we all do, and your not the same people as before, so I think your in love with the person you once knew, and this person you see now, is a stranger, that you either get to know, or accept the changes, and not put a whole lot of time, and emotion into.

Just be friends and see, until you get a grip on your own feelings. What's the hurry??

[xxDMBxx]

Your right talan, there's no hurry have just been thinking about it a lot lately, and thinking of her, cause I know we have changed but I still can't stop thinking about her
But thanks ! I'm going to take your advice and be friends and go from there.. there is a lot of time I guess no hurry