[neverno1]

Sorry its long please read. My ex and I were together for three and a half years and about 6 to 8 months or more before the break up I became depressed and drinking a lot(it wasn’t an abusive relationship) and not doing anything with my life. She knew I wasn’t happy with my job and she tried to help me but I wasn’t motivated, depression. She also talked about moving in together and I didn’t really show interest, again depression and the last 3 months I had become more withdrawn and negative. She also worked long hours and we didn’t see each other that mush but we talked on the phone every night. The break up: This past Christmas we went up to her parent’s place for a week and eight days later she broke up, no I didn’t do anything to piss off her parents they like me, plus I dreamt twice while up there I was losing her, premonition? Here goes… I came back one night(I stayed at her place on the weekends) from a friend’s place and she had all my things that were kept at her place packed up and said she didn’t want this anymore. I asked why, what’s wrong? She said she wasn’t happy, she said I wasn’t a motivated person and she was and I didn‘t do what I say I‘m going to do. She said I didn’t open up to her and I replied I promise from now on I will, but she said it was to late and that she didn’t have the same feelings towards me anymore. She also said I was her whole word and that she didn’t know herself, and she didn’t want to be with any body else she just wanted to be alone. That really woke me up and I saw what I was doing to myself and her, I quit the heavy drinking, going to counseling to kick the depression and I’m studying for a new career. Well in the weeks to follow I sent her some emails and a couple of letters(I know now, to soon) telling her what I was going Through and that I’m doing something about it. I told her I know how my condition and the way I was brought down the relationship and her, and I know she’s afraid and doesn’t want to go Through that again and I understand, but that wasn’t the real me it was the depression and drinking she broke up with and to please reconsider, we can take it slow. Well she didn’t really respond to all that. About a month and a half since the break I agreed to take care of her pets while she was out of town . The last day of taking care of her pets I left a note saying the animals are fine and stated I think you did the right thing by breaking up and It was the best thing for both of us. Since then a series of events have taken place that confuse me. The day after she got back she called me at 9:30 pm from work, I didn’t answer so she left a message. She was thanking me and I could tell in her voice she was expecting to talk cause she was awkward and hesitant. Then a few days later I was importing pictures of me from her Myspace and Facebook that I took during some of our trips, Bdays, but none of her and myself. While I was doing that she sent a comment about one of the photos and I didn’t respond back. Then I go to Facebook and she tagged 9 pics of her and myself as a couple, trips etc, to my Facebook wall. I deleted it off the wall, how ever she can see I put them in my album. A day later I tagged her back with the same pics, but she didn’t delete them off her wall. A couple of days later she puts a love song on her Myspace. A few more days go by and I’m on Facebook and she IMs me asking a question so I answer and then she ask how I’m doing etc, more chit chat and then she stops, an hour goes by, and no I’m not waiting that long I was doing other things, so I wrote Ok then Goodnight. A few more minuets and she comes back and says Ok… I’m back now. So I just shut down the computer. I did send her a message the next day asking what happened, why she just stopped and was gone for an hour, and she wrote back she was just tired of sitting on her at the comp and got up went to the living room to watch TV. A couple of days later she sent me through Facebook a pieces of flare, it’s a button with a phrase on it saying, you had me at bacon, what ever that means. Lastly two nights ago while on Facebook, and she wasn’t on, I try to make sure but I was writing a friend and then, pop, It was her on the IM asking me the same question I answered before. So I didn’t respond and after a few minuets she signed off. I’m trying keep some distance from her but I still have feelings for her. I know she Isn’t trying to string me along at least not intentionally she isn’t that type. Anybody have any insight to what’s going on and why, especially the pics of us she sent to me? She knows I still have feelings for her I think and It’s only been two (long) months. Let me know…

[Triplell]

Seems complicated.

1.You two dated for three and a half years and one day she just flipped is what it seems like. She didn't like where you were going and she didn't want to be sucked in. BTW, it sounds good that you are trying to change. Best wishes from me.

She probably still loves you and it probably hurt her a lot to break up with you, but she had to do what she felt was right for herself. Now she see's that you're heading in the right direction and the part of you that she dispised has started to change and disappear.

Don't take my words as a cue to jump right in. That will scare her a way. Remember what it was like when you first started dating? You have to play somewhat hard to get while at the same time show you do care, if you want to continue a relationship with her.

If not, then just try your best to make yourself happy and your life better.

[talaniman]

I think she is glad your changing for the better, but I bet she is a bit afraid the old you will come back, and that's really understandable.

Your really doing yourself a disservice by not taking a definite stand for what you really want.

Either give this a chance, or walk away clean. Sitting on the fence does you no good, and adds to the confusion. That's your choice to make.

What do you really want, is the question to answer.

[arnimal7]

Hey never, first off I just want to say that it takes a strong person to not only realize you have a problem/problems but to do something about it. So with that being said I commend you. Now it seems to me that she still very much has feelings for you as you do for her. I think she still might be a little apprehensive about the whole situation. All I can say is to let her have some space and keep working on yourself, things will happen the way they are meant to happen. Don't try to rush anything. I do believe that this isn't over yet. Again great job on yourself.