[sarahbb]

Hi everyone, I have never used one of these before so I don't really know what I'm doing. This is the problem in short ( trust me you don't want the long version).

Bascially my housemate and I have lived together for 3 years have at the start had an on-off relationship but decided that we were better off just friends. I didn't really mind this until recently even though I still really liked him. Even though he has been with many a girl since I never cared until February the 13th when he slept with my best friend. Now the problem is that she knows all to well about how I felt about him but she didn't care. The next day was valentines and my housemate brought me breakfast in bed and a dosen red roses. If he had not slept with my friend I would have thought this was lovely but at the time I thought that it was cause he felt somewhat guilty about what happened

My friend didn't contact me for a couple of days and over this time I became more upset. I think I was more upset because she didn't even have the guts to tell me about it. If she had said something like it was a drunken mistake then I would have taken it better but instead she decided to tell me that I should be happy for her and that she really likes him,

Now it seems that they are meeting secretly and this is driving me mad, every time he leaves the house I wonder if they are meeting up. I can't keep going on like this. She is my best friend and I see her every day but I don't think that we will ever be the same again. And as for him I have to live with him so its hard. I know what he is like he will just use her and then where does that leave the three of us. She is getting more into him. She is always txting and ringing him and if this ends badly what happens? I want to stay living with this boy but I don't know if I want to stay friends with her.

She even had the cheek to give out that I went out with him tonight. We came home from the pub and she called him and when he said we were out she said that he shouldn't encourage me.

I just don't know what to do or think... I need some help??

[SirPeter]

Hello sarahbb,

Im afraid that you might be falling for this 'boy'. Of course living with him doesn't help the situation one bit, as for your best friend this is often and common place. Trust yourself and only yourself.

As a good person of mine said 'Your in it, to WIN it' and your friend certainly is, No respect for your romances or your feelings.

As for the boy. Seems like a 'player' as the americans say. These are not good boyfriends in total, with the tendency of cheating and a potent high sex drive you'll be beating yourself up more than ever thinking if he'll be cheating or fooling about at night.

My advice.

1) Find a new best friend for starters. She is no good.

2) Forget about this boy, as hard as it may seem its possible.

3) Find a new place to live and preferably live with girls only!
Im not a relgious fanatic but i can understand why they say dont live with the opposite sex until marriage.

If you do these three things, I can bet my life on it you'll be doing great with no emotional pain!


Peter

[talaniman]

I think you were content with the way things were, but now your so called best friend has rocked the boat, and of course your upset.

Living with an on/off romantic partner seldom works, since its obvious you have not bothered to define the boundaries of this relationship, and you assume he is yours even when your off.

Well now you know different, so one of you has to go, if you can't accept he is sleeping with some one else.

Do what it takes to remove yourself from this situation, and leave these two to do whatever they want. They will anyway.

I still don't see why you put up with him hanging with you, and sleeping with her? He is probably enjoying screwing you both over.

[asking]

I agree with both posts above, Talaniman and SirPeter. In addition, I think this young man is playing you off against each other. He knows you are friends. Now she's jealous of you and you are jealous of her. She is probably as confused at t this point as you are, thinking at first that he had no relationship with you, now less certain. If you are just friends, why is he bringing you breakfast in bed on valentines day? He has romanticized things with you and confused you. Meanwhile, she thought he was free, now she's not certain. He's a trouble maker.

[sarahbb]

It6s all good and well saying that he's an idiot and she's not a true friend but I need more help in the day to day. I've just found out that they've just slept together again last night so I've made a decision she has to go and when our contract ends in June I'm going to leave. I have to have some piece of mind. I hope this is the right decision

[asking]

It sounds like a good decision to me. I think you are taking care of yourself and setting limits and those are good things.

You might consider leaving earlier if you can afford to leave. Breaking a rental contract just means paying some small fine. Nobody can force you to live where you are unhappy.