[BrokenHeart89]

This post is really long and I just need somewhere to vent. The break-up is the last couple of paragraphs.

Hey,

So here is the deal about my former relationship. We broke-up mid-January of 2009. Things had not been on the greatest of terms, we had been arguing a lot because I was feeling hurt by some of her actions. But I think it's best to go back and start in the beginning of our relationship. It quiet confusing, and I need to let it all out in hopes of helping myself to move on.

We were both young, I was 17 and she was 19. We had both been working as lifeguards at a pool together for past year. So we knew each other really well. Starting in March of 2008, we both started signing-up to work together at city events at a first-aide booth. Before that I had always thought that she might like me because we always talked at work. Our conversations we all over the place about everything, and we both flirted back and fourth. But it really wasn't until these city events that the topic of our conversations changed towards relationships. I had known she was in a relationship with a 37-year old guy. I figured it was because she wanted a sugar-daddy. But I could tell she looked miserable, not happy about her life nor relationship. I felt bad for her, she was the most stunning looking girl and extremely funny. So I started asking her if she was happy, and she would always reply with "It's okay, I mean it is what it is." So I started discussing my future goals and desires in a relationship, because I really wanted her to hear that life could be different. Good guys really do exist and she doesn't have to have a sugar-daddy to be happy.

Well over the next month we talked off and on. I kept asking why she was seeing her boyfriend. She kept coming into work more and more depressed. Until finally we ended up hooking-up one night after one of the events. But it wasn't the most positive thing, foreplay mostly to me. The next day, she told me she felt like I used her. I felt horrible and wanted to make-up for my actions so I constantly showered her with apologies and messages of love.

She forgave me, and said she wanted to see me on a regular basis. But she said she still needed to she the other guy because he was going to help her pay for career school. It was the beginning of May when this happened. I said "Okay" at first. I was hurt that she didn't just want to see me exclusively, but understood we were really an item. I, also, asked her to my senior prom, that she at first turned down because she was going to a Car Show to work as a car show girl with him on the same day. But, she eventually slept with him a couple more times , until finally breaking up with him because she said she felt guilty about sleeping with him and seeing me. *Note*(We did end-up going to prom, though, we didn't stay very long. We got there late because she went to the car show anyway, without him to work. Plus she wanted to go to a party her friend was having that night. Kind of a bummer.) Back now to the story...

So we starting dating exclusively. It went great for about a week, until the ex started texting and saying her still loved her. Started messaging me on Myspace and sending me photos of them when they used to sleep together. She was mostly embraced and didn't wish to talk about it. I was freaked-out though. But I knew it wasn't her fault that he was acting like this, so we continued to see each other. The ex continued to pester and bother for the following four-months, making it at some points unbearable. Driving by her house, reving his car, e-mailing her pictures of them together, leaving messages in envelopes. We eventually got the police involved and filled a restraining order. In the meantime, other than the strain that put on our relationship; our relationship was pretty good.

She did make mention a lot of how she had to give a lot of the stuff the ex had boughten her back. So I felt very sympathetic towards this and brought her a lot of new stuff to replace all the old. Clothing, purses, shoes, sunglasses. It made her happy and I really wanted to see her happy. This should have been a sign (maybe she was just using me). I did actually bring the topic up and she said "No, and that she loved me". Yet she never really showed her love for me other than sexually. Never really tried to make special moments with me in the beginning. She just kept talking how it would be different in the future if we were married, or lived together; all the things we could do once she moved out of her parents house.

I helped her get off on the right foot with career school, did homework assignments for her. She always seem grateful, constantly, made sure she had everything she needed for school. She did at time share a mutual interest in my school work, ask if there was really anything she could help with. I said not really, because college was a bit different and a lot of it was lectures. I said if I did have tests though over material she could help me make flash cards. Oh course we never really got around to making them. Each time I would come to visit her during the week from about September on, she would ask me to help clean her room, get rid of any remaining junk she had from her past relationship, make dinner, clean the bathrooms. We never really had us time, it almost was like she was expecting me to do stuff more and more for her. And of coarse I did, I wanted to show her I loved her. In October things go tense because I didn't have a job, and my college savings were gone (mostly spent on her). She was constantly getting irritated with me, said we might need space so I could look for a job. I was either at school, or at her house working because she always had a list of things to do. Never had me time anything more, never had time for us anymore. So I hit the job market hard, until I found a job at another pool close to school. Things were less tense, but she didn't demand any less of me.

The arguing started at this point early November. I was starting to feel down and out because she didn't really even show a lot of affection towards me other than sex. She said she loved me, kept talking about how great the future would be, what our family would look like, how great living together in our on apartment the following year was going to be. But never really showed me how much she appreciated me. Instead she worked, babysitting on all the majors holidays; even though we would have plans. Saying she needed the money so we could start saving for the apartment. I agreed with that. And things just kept going down hill, I still did my best to give her the world. I would work on school work for her, kept everything straight around her house, organized her life essentially. We hadn't really had just us, being romantic, just happy to have each others company since the first few months we dated.

She just expected things from me. Some nights she would go out with her girlfriends to bar (yeppers underaged) after her night massage therapy classes. She would get to go party, having fun, yet never really cared about having fun with me anymore. She was going to school to be a massage therapist something else that kind of bothered me. She was constantly interacting with other male students at school barely clothed because it was what massage therapy school was. If I asked to hang after school she would say "No she was tired" didn't feel like it. But she would still call me ever night after school and tell me how it went. So I said "Okay cool, no problem I understood; at least she called me." And we did talk about the whole other male student thing, she said "Not to worry they weren't really her type." But I started noticing she was adding them as friends on her myspace, and putting their numbers in her phone. She said it was just in case she needed to contact them about homework and she didn't really like the other girls in her class. I again said "Understand". It wasn't until late December I starting getting more skeptical. One of the guys at her school started texting her more and would be hanging with her on nights she would ask me to pick her up in the parking lot. I ask about him and she kind just would push it off.

I started to voice my concern with the guys at her school. Here I was an 18 year old guy, while I was an awesome supportive boyfriend. I didn't have the smooth talking life experience of a 22 year old, or my own apartment, or couldn't really give massages that well. I was a little worried these things might attract her to these other guys because that was what she seemed to desire out of our relationship. So two weeks before we broke-up I found out she and this guy were sending flirty messages in class, she was a complete about the homework I did for her because I forget some here or there. I started to watch my relationship crumble. One night she tells me that she really likes this 22 year old in her class, dreamt about walking in an apartment with him, but she still loved me and he always would turn into me in her dreams. She said she still wanted to date me. I was devastated, but said okay because she really did seem like she still cared about me. We had an argument the next week about it again, I said I was really uncomfortable about the entire situation. She said it would be okay, but told me she was going to hang with her girlfriends for the next couple of afternoons.

Two days later she broke-up with me saying she wanted to be single and focus on herself. And the very next day ended-up hooking up with this guy and essentially moving into his apartment. Turns out those afternoons were spent hanging with him. I was devastated. She kept in contact with me and each time I went to pick-up more of my stuff would reveal more about how she lied when we broke-up. First few times saying they had just gone on innocent dates after we broke-up. Then she would reveal more and more, and started mentioning how they were making plans for a future together. Trips they wanted to take, events they wanted to go to.

I still wanted answers so I went to the pool were she still worked. I asked how she could move on so quickly, if she lied about having loving me, if she used me. She proceed to become angry saying I was trying to make her unhappy, because she was truly happy now with this guy. Their relationship was more mature, because she didn't always get her way. The guy had told her she can't through fits if she didn't get what she wanted. I was again crushed. I asked her not to contact me anymore, and asked for my digital camera and the last of my things. She proceed to tell me the digital camera was at his house because they had been using it. I was disgusted, she knew it wasn't her; we just kept it at her house so she could upload photos of us onto myspace.

A couple weeks passed and she contacted me asking if I was ready to be friends yet. I didn't respond; then sent more messages talking about things that reminded her of me on TV. So we met for lunch, were I watch her and instantly saw that girl I met dating the 37 year old. She looked miserable. She cried to me and told me how this guy was really just a boyfriend, and I had been the complete package. So I asked why she was still with him did it have to do with the apartment, she said "No". But I knew her well enough and could see right threw it. I still worked at the pool and knew that they had fired her for not showing up because she was spending work days with him; instead of showing up. So I told her (BAD IDEA I KNOW, NOT DOING THIS AGAIN). She cried even more and said she didn't know how she would pay for school. I asked if her boyfriend would help her, she really didn't answer. So I said I would help her as long as she found a job and could pay me back. She said "She needed me and was glad I was back in her life". But yet still didn't want to dump her boyfriend. She said "She would just talk to him and slow down the speed of their relationship". I told her the option was still there if she wanted to come back, we could restart one more time out relationship. But she really didn't answer. I didn't really hear from her until she texted me telling me she was straightening thing out with her boyfriend.

She called me a couple days later and cried because she had been officially fired. She didn't know what she was going to do, and said she missed having me there to help her figure things out. I was angry that she would say these things, but not leave her boyfriend if she truly missed and valued what we had. So I told her she needed to figure out what she wanted, him, me, or single life. She needed to search for what would make her happy. Over the next couple days she asked me if I would still help her with her work-study program invoice, and tax information. I had hired her through my swim coaching company to work as a lifeguard so she could make extra cash over the holidays. But I told her she needed to go talk to another person in the company that handled the financial aspects. I continued to completely ignore her texts, "Hey Kiddo, how are you doing" or "How's work been going, how is everyone". Until February 10th our would be anniversary, I called and asked for my stuff back and not to contact her it hurt me too much. She was angry that I was asking for it back and told me she never wanted to speak with me again. She didn't drop off a box at the pool like I asked.

So I texted her asking for it back and she proceeded to tell me "I was being inconsiderate because she was busy looking for a job and didn't have the time". I told her how was I being inconsiderate when she dumped me, has another guy shoulder to cry on when things get tough, I didn't have anyone. All my friends had basically bailed because I spent so much time focusing on her. I was alone, I didn't have anyone to help me take my mind off the break-up. She apologized and said she still wanted me in her life. I asked her why and she told me it was because I knew her best. I said that one day this new guy will know her just as well as I did and I don't want to keep living with a false hope of her coming back. She apologized and said fine its okay if I didn't want her in my life. I just told her I wanted her as a girlfriend something she no longer wanted with me and that I just need space to heal my broken heart. She said okay but she wasn't happy with my choice.

Been three weeks now and I haven't heard from her since that night. I was doing great until I hit a rough patch, about two weeks ago. Stop eating, began finding myself getting mad at her because she got to go live her new life with a new boyfriend. I'm alone, school work is building up because I feel paralyzed. Like things won't get better, or that I ruined the relationship

[mintah50]

I kind of feel where your coming from in the break up.First of all you had to know that it wasn't going to be easy for you if she kept on seeing her sugar daddy. Also you can't help someone if they don't Want to help themselve you know, cause now you ended up in this position and you now believe it your problem. Now she could be feeling you for a while or using you for her rebound , you should have known buying anyone you love stuff is not a way to improve the relationship. You have helped her a lot and may have not like the outcome of her decision but you got to accept it and move on. I know you will have bad days where you feel like you need her and you miss her , and sometimes there will be good days where you feel confident. Just try to think about you also by doing things to improve on your life . And don't think back on what you did things happen for a reason. BE CONFIDENT. My best quote to you will be IF YOU Don't LOVE YOURSELF THEN HOW THE HELL ARE YOU Going to LOVE ANYBODY ELSE!

[talaniman]

How can a guy get dumped, and still be so wrapped up, that now he can't deal with every day stuff he needs to. You were far to dependent on this female (Like a junkie)and do need to put yourself back together, or drown in your own shat.