[shazamataz]

Who cares if she is holding hands with another guy? You shouldn't care! She certainly doesn't care!
Look... if something happened between her and another guy once... and by once I mean a single incident that lasted for a day... then maybe you could look the other way but... and to be blunt... It sounds like she really doesn't care dude.
Romefalls19's advice was spot on... forget her!

[Dunkonya21]

I'm not friends with any of them what I was saying is that I have her information on myspace and be able to log into it. Which Im working on not logging on and seeing the new things she says or anything thing like. Just throwing this in there His site is beginning to be a lot about her. But her's is nothing about him. Im not making anything out of this at all.

I already deleted her number but the thing that sucks is that her and my number are almost the same
5=matching numbers
mine- 555-5157
cheater- 555-5258

But I just had a long talk with someone and I know the right track I should be on and what I need to do. Every relationship I've been in it always ends this way and its like I start to wonder maybe it's me.

And it is because I let girls push me over because I treat them like a queen and give them everything they want and there's never any challenge with me and they just get bored and move on. So that is something Im going to work on so who ever I end up with I don't keep getting played.

I just wrote that one message to pretty much like use this topic as like a journal and express how I feel and hopefully if anyone feels that there in my shoes will be able to read this and let it help them out. So I will be putting updates on everything and letting you guys know how things are. And be able to take advice as well. Thanks so much everyone for continuing on helping me out. :D

[Romefalls19]

If the number is similar, put it in your phone but under "lying tramp" and then you are reminded of her actions

[kctiger]

I put my ex's number under "Rosie O'Donnell." Who the hell in their right mind would pick up that phone call? Not even when I am drunk!

[shazamataz]

^^^ LOVE both those answers :D

[Dunkonya21]

Haha I did have it in as **CHEATER** but I just ended up deleting it in general. But Rosie O'Donnell lol

[MiSSsy111222]

Stop thinking the sun shines out of her @**#. SHE IS WITH ANOTHER GUY! Red flag!!

I agree with NC, however do it for yourself not to get her back. Because the point is that she hurt you. Most of us go through the stage of wanting our EX'S back, its apart of going through the motions.

[kp2171]

So you don't want to hear about NC and don't want to move on... you want to know about how to make her genuinely come back and want to be with you, honestly.

Fine.

Its fair enough.

Been there, done that. It usually ends with way too much time wasted and a lot more mental baggage, but that's your prerogative. If I have half a clue now its because I had to get kicked in the mouth enough times to finally get that it was, at some point, my choice to be mistreated.

So... the ONLY way to make any relationship work, once its crumbled, is to face the real issues that caused the breakup. Hell... that's the only way to perpetuate a relationship that isn't broken... look at areas where you don't overlap and find middle ground or accept where there isn't overlap.

So... NC doesn't guarantee anything. Doesn't mean shell move on. You'll move on. Shell recognize her mistakes.

NC gives you and her a chance to see what it is really like to be without the other person and to focus on yourself. This also means she needs to focus on herself and her needs.

If that kinds of real evaluation leads her to be without you... I say "fine"... its real, honest, truthful.

But if you are against focusing on your needs... if you still just need to focus on her... again, you choice. If you cannot address the real issues behind the breakup, and find real solutions, you have no chance.

Period.

How to "get her back"... well, it needs to be more compelling than what drove her away. Good luck with that. Like I said... id rather live in crappy reality than to be her emotional butler...

Don't get me wrong... a relationship can have a break and reform... when dating my wife we had a period where we both had to step back, take a moment, think about what was next... we met one "last time" thinking we were going to call it off for good... instead we wound up agreeing to try again, and eventually married.

So id be a hypocrite to say a relationship with a break is always broken... but to fix it, you need to really understand what is missing from both sides, and to find common ground naturally... without one side bending to the whims of the other.

But don't kid yourself... you aren't going to "make her" anything... bend, pretend, fake it... if it isn't right, it isn't going to last. Even good relationships sometimes last for just a time, and not all time.

[Dunkonya21]

I understand completely on what you are saying. As I posted previously I said that I need to work on myself and not being a door mat with woman because it doesn't matter who I'm with. Eventually I will just get walked all over and treated like crap. And that's pretty much how its been my whole life with women. So this time that I have alone I'm going to be focusing on myself. Putting myself first and try not to wonder about the what ifs?

Of course it's going to be there but as time goes on I get a little better. Right now it's a rollercoaster ride and my emotions are up and down. As time is passing by I notice myself staying up longer and staying down shorter.

On getting her back well that's something that Im not ready for and if its really on to her. I don't know if you read about how I was the one always running back 1st. Well it's time to put her wait up and see. And know what a lot of people are thinking that all she has to do is say "hey i miss you" and I'll be running back no I won't. I'm not going to let myself be tortured anymore. I know these are words and I'm just saying it but the more I say it and the more I think it. The more I actually start to believe it. Its been less then 48 hours since this whole thing happened and already I (think) have come a long ways.

As for advice what are some good ways to work on myself? I'm joining a gym today or tomorrow. I'm hanging out with old friends keeping myself busy just wondering what are some other ways.

[Justwantfair]

There is a sticky list on top of the relationship forum, that gives a whole list of things to think about doing to help occupy your time.

I love that you are getting in the right mindset. Remember these thoughts because you will revert back and forth for a short while, your break up is still so fresh. Just keep focusing on you. You see a problem with you and that is a great step, but also don't be too hard on yourself. I know that failed relationships can weigh on you as a person. Maybe it's not that you are a doormat but the women you have been dating. With your alone time you will figure out better what type of personality you are looking for. In the future it will help you be selective, you deserve that. I am happy to see you making the right steps.

[talaniman]

I think your making some good decisions for yourself so far, at least you realize you cannot control her, and your tired of the crap she puts you through. That's a start. Do the No Contact, just hang in there, as you heal, regroup, and focus on building a life that you enjoy without her. Meet new friends and enjoy activities and hobbies that makes you happy without her in your life.

Overtime, you will find you think of her less and don't want her back. You will be to busy moving forward!

[Dunkonya21]

There is a sticky list on top of the relationship forum, that gives a whole list of things to think about doing to help occupy your time.

I love that you are getting in the right mindset. Remember these thoughts because you will revert back and forth for a short while, your break up is still so fresh. Just keep focusing on you. You see a problem with you and that is a great step, but also don't be too hard on yourself. I know that failed relationships can weigh on you as a person. Maybe it's not that you are a doormat but the women you have been dating. With your alone time you will figure out better what type of personality you are looking for. In the future it will help you be selective, you deserve that. I am happy to see you making the right steps.

Boy that hit the hammer on the head because like an hour I wrote that I went the very opposite way. I just got really down and stuff and struggling not trying to talk to contact her. I did make a mistake though today... Me and my friend were driving around and we were like 5 minutes away and I couldn't control the urge of I just wanted to see if he was over there.
So we drove by and he wasn't there but I know it was something that I shouldn't have done but I did and just today hit me hard and just strugglin with the NC.

[Justwantfair]

For every time that you break the NC, you will find that there is a severe punishment to be paid. There will never been any relief in breaking NC until you are emotional ready to tell her that she isn't good enough for you. When you are emotional ready for that, you won't have to say it, it will be enough just to know it.

Keep pushing ahead. It is still too fresh. Go forward with yourself and work every moment of time to the next moment of time that you can. We are here.

[Dunkonya21]

It's killing me not hearing anything from her. Still having those dreams about her which don't help at all. Just I don't know this NC sucks, first time I ever done this with any girl. That's why I'm struggling with this. Just wish Things will go my way sooner. If they even are going to...

[kctiger]

They will go away... this isn't supposed to be easy. It is a process, and the ends justify the means. Just stay focused and keep moving forward. The benefits to this will be worth your pain, trust me.

[Dunkonya21]

Sorry don't mean to double post but I notice myself getting pissed off more I think about the situation I'm in and I just want to give her hell. That's why I want to contact her and just find out why and all that other crap. I won't but it's still an urge. I know as soon as I break the NC I'm going to have to make up the days I have already put into this and that would suck.

[talaniman]

Your correct, you would have to lose what you have gained, and start all over, and that would suck!

[Dunkonya21]

Guys I don't think I can do this I'm literally fighting back tears and fighting back from breaking the NC. I'm so used to her being there in my life being able to talk to her about the stress and she be the one who is next to me yea I know she's next to another guy but it's a freakin rebound and mistake she know's it deep down inside. I'm just really weak and pathetic I mean look were on page six it seems that nothing has changed other then I'm hurting so bad... With this NC how long is it going to take for her to contact me??

[Romefalls19]

Who cares if she is ever going to contact you.. She didn't care about you, she was letting another guy in between her rather than working on your relationship together.

[kctiger]

You are not weak, and you are not pathetic!! NEVER call yourself that. We know it's hard. What else do you have going on? What activities are you up to?