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essentialoil · Aug 25, 2006, 05:24 AM

My boyfriends just been put on anti-depressants for the first time in over relationship (7months) he's been on them before but not around me. I want to help him and I do love him, I just want to know if there anything practical I can do apart form being there for him? :confused: or if anyone knows what alturnitve thearpiess are out there?

Krs · Aug 25, 2006, 05:28 AM

Hi and welcome to AMHD :)

Im sorry to hear that your boyfriend was prescribed anti-depressants. Most of us who were never depressed don't understand why we need them.

Ive seen loved ones on anti depressants.
Sometimes people need them. What you can do, is try make him smile, try make him realise that everything will be fine in the long run, and also keep an eye out to make sure he is taking them only when he needs to and don't let him become dependent on them.

What were the circumstances before when he was on them and how come he needs them again now?

essentialoil · Aug 25, 2006, 05:41 AM

He still sufferers from his parents divorce, and has trouble letting things go a small thing can transform into a big thing which just eats at him. We live with my parents so can't 'be ourselves'. He had a rough year last year left his wife, sold their home etc! It's hard to pin point just one thing sadly

Krs · Aug 25, 2006, 05:53 AM

I think you two need space, big time. You said yourself you can't 'be yourselves'.

If he was married before I'm sure you are not young kids, so why can't you rent a place together? How old are you two?

J_9 · Aug 25, 2006, 06:03 AM

The best thing to do for him is just be there. Typically men do not like to talk. So don't push him, just be there for him when he does want to talk.

Try to stay happy, but not overly so.

The meds will take about 6 weeks before they reach therapeutic levels, until then just be you. Many men HATE to be forced to talk about things that they would rather keep to themselves. When the meds are therapeutic he may want to start talking. Until then, just be his friend.

LUNAGODDESS · Aug 25, 2006, 06:39 AM

Reads like he has gone through a lot... seen others go through so much more... true... keep him happy... he may be depressed because he is staying with your parents.. he feels less than a man... he likes you and probably wonders if you will leave him... you two will need more time with each other... there is too much drama around him now... and he not be ready to deal with them without help... be a true friend... let him know that things will be fine... save for a apartment or leased home... that will help with his esteem issues... his parent divorced.. remind him that his parents are grown adults and their problem is not his...

essentialoil · Aug 25, 2006, 07:14 AM

There's no where to rent near enough to work to make it viable for either of us and 23 and 28 for the age question!

Krs · Aug 25, 2006, 07:17 AM

I think its almost essential for a couple to have space i.e living alone. Its unhealthy living with parents can cause a lot of stress, believe me, I've been there, and for your boyfriend who is depressed this may be added stress for me but I could be wrong.

essentialoil · Aug 25, 2006, 07:20 AM

I totally agree with you, and your not wrong! :)