[Constant]

Hi all, I have been searching for answers for the past 4 days. On Monday night, it is Saturday night now, my girlfriend called me and told me she basically needed a break. We are in college about an hour apart-- over the weekend she got sick and had a urinary tract infection and her mother came to her college to see her get through it. I debated going to see her, but thought that since her mother was there that they might need some family time. I am always around her and her family, since the past 2 years, and it would not have been awkward but I thought they would want some space since I see her every weekend. I made the wrong decision, and she was intensely hurt. She said I could come up and see her, but didn't make it clear cut. I should have just gone, enough said. That was the final straw, she had been hurt before for tiny things in the past that I didn't notice, like me making fun of a song in the car that actually meant a lot to her. This past V-day she said she had never had so much love for me, but decided we needed a break this week. She says she loves me, emphasized it, said that she wasn't looking for another guy but need some time for school and to be independent. After all she is a first year in college and I am a second. She said this was not permanent, but needed to stand up on her own two feet. I am devastated. She is the love of my life and I am proud to say that at the age of 19, I know she is right for me-- but she needs to see if I right for her. Deep in my heart I know she will come back, but time is hard from her. She texts everyday with something little to say, like how are you, good morning, wake up it's a pretty day, etc.

I know we have something completely unique, one in a million, someone I could be the rest of my life with. I want so much just to surprise her at her dorm and say I am proud of the person you have become-- give her flowers, and show her that I am here when she needs it. I have no desire to date around, but show her I care. I know I mean too much to her for her to go sleep around. Should I not wait a few weeks and surprise her with flowers or would that make things bad? I didn't plan on breaking down to her then. She loves to know that I still care, and I don't think she wants to "have her cake and eat it too". She promised me, and she doesn't lie to me, that she would tell me the first sign of liking a boy if she ever felt that. I don't think that's what she wants. So should I try not to talk to her when she texts/calls? Should I surprise her one Sunday afternoon when she's not out with her friends and show her I still care? I know I am supposed to act all Independent as well, but trust me she should feel that she misses me if she loves me like she tells me every day, when we aren't calling really or being together. Should I wait and pretend like Im happy, or will that push her away (I think that could)... Should I show her I care and understand her position, but still tell her I love her? (I think that's right, because she sincerely tells me she loves me everyday, but she needs to just be alone for a "while") Should I ask her how long a "while" is? (I think that would be pushy for her) I just heard people say lets do NC and meet in a month. I think that would hurt he feelings, but this is why I ask. I don't want NC, but I feel it would be good to show her I cared and let her see me as her lover and friend, even if she needs space... Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

In love, my heart knows she will be there, but I need to know how to deal with the NOW and not the FUTURE which I think will include Us.

[Fr_Chuck]

Get her some flowers, take her to dinner and come crawling back saying you are sorry.

Next talk, you and her have communication issues, she expects you to know what she is "thinking" and you expect her to say what she wants, ain't going happen unless you both learn to work on it.

[talaniman]

I go with Fr. Chuck on this one. Show you care, and let her heal for a few days, and then see how she feels. Seems she gets a bug up her butt over small things, and doesn't communicate that well.

Sometimes its best to back away until the emotional dust settles. Is she insecure, or something all the time?

[Constant]

This will take 10mins of your time but could change my life in some way, please read--

Thank you in advance.

I have tried not to contact her much, but this morning I texted "good morning beautiful" because that's what we do. Its kind of normal for that to go on for the past 2 years ish. You can say I am weak, so I say to myself sometimes, but we are on "a break" not a "break up" and I can't expect myself to just not talk at all. So I did it those time. Then she called me, seemed like everything was fine. I tried to hide my pain and just ask her about her weekend (she spent it with her sister) and just tried to seem very agreeable and loving. Somehow we got back into our inside jokes, acting like old times, and I was in walmart and just jokingly asked her if she wanted peanut butter brownines I make. She talked in her loving voice, and was like, pleaseee. Man I almost broke. I said oh all right well I'll make you some, (I am on spring break right now anyway). I didn't ask how Id get them there, I assumed Id mail them. Then she asked me when I was coming home (back to school 1 hr away from her). I said I don't know, maybe in 4 or 5 days. She said that if I came back on Thursday, "maybe you can stop by and bring (our pet bunnies name) and stay for awhile."
"I said, well yeah maybe I can do that, but dont you have a party on thursday (they usually have some sort of party at college there at that time), I don't want to get in the way of that."
"She said hmm maybe we do, but you could come! Ill have to check. If thursday isnt good you could come friday if you want."

After the conversation I felt much better. She said she loved me at the end of the talk again. Tomorrow is our "anniversary"... I sent her an email, weak again and stupid for feeling better about today's talk that basically had a rascal flatts "here" song on it which basically sums up the situation in a loving way (I am here, the tears are worth it, I love you still) She responded saying thank you, it means a lot, I love you, our anniversary is special to me as well, kiss our pet for me I miss him.

Should I go Thursday? If I go what should I do? I honestly know she loves me, what if she kisses me or I her? I can't expect her to just say I don't want a break anymore, but I know she will be faithful. How do I handle this? Should I ask for a time frame for being on a break? Should I try to tell her she can be independent with me in her life or let her make the moves? She won't fish me along and that's why I am dedicated to waiting. I was thinking of bringing her the brownies, some flowers, a cd shed like-- and just let her make the moves. Show her I am there and love her. I will do that unless she is unfaithful which she knows would kill us (or at least doesn't tell me before then). Is this the right move..

[neverme]

Go, get her flowers, bring your bunny, and your communication hat!

Hope for the best.