[taj30]

I was in a 4 year loving relationship and engaged to my ex girlfriend when suddenly both our worlds were crushed. I have had a binge drinking problem for a while now but never thought I was losing control of myself. 3 months ago my ex girlfriends sister told her mother that I groped her on 2 separate occasions. I have no memory of this and have been attendind drug and alcohol counselling to find answers on how I could do this to not only the sister but to the woman I love and was about to marry. I found out at counselling I have a disease called ALCOHOLISM which causes me to have prolonged blackouts when binge drinking. I have not had a drink since this happened. My ex says she still loves me but is confused in what to do. Her parents and sister do not want her to ever get back with me. What can I do in this situation.

[liz28]

The only thing you can do is give her space so she can clear her head to what she wants to do because right now she is torn because you and her family because of what you did to her sister. So let he use and take her time to decide what to do.

However, she may never come back to you and if she doesn't you've to respect her decision. And I hope you don't relapse into drinking. Regardless of the outcome keep seeking help for your addiction and hopefully your blackout sessions never return.

[talaniman]

You should be more concerned with dealing with your disease and leave everyone alone until you do. My advice to her would be leaving you alone until you have been sane and sober for more than a year, to protect herself.

Stick with your program, and get a sponsor.

[k3441]

Stick with treatment and it is really important to get a sponsor also... Trust what everyone is saying here because they are so right. I listened to them and I am now in AA with a sponsor. Be OK with you first get the help you need!

[taj30]

I have now been separated from my ex girlfriend for 3 months after unknownly groping her sister while I was in a blackout due to alcohol. I have been going to drug and alcohol counselling and group sessions for 3 months now without touching alcohol. My ex recently came to my house to ask if she could come to counselling with me cause she still loved me and wanted to know about my disease called alcoholism. She said after the counselling session that she felt at peace and at ease about everything now after hearing about my disease. She also said she wants to come to more sessions with me in the future but all this is confusing me cause she still says she needs to heal and clear her head before thinking about us working things out but in the meantime she stiil keeps in contact with me and it is getting very confusing to figure out what she is thinking. It doesn't help that she lives now at her parents who hate me. And she has also said that until she gets a place of her own to sort herself out she feels we can't work things out. MY counselling for alcoholism is going great and I really enjoy the group sessions so I'm in control of that . Can anyone tell me what she is thinking cause it confusing

[talaniman]

I honestly think you should be brutally honest, and tell her for the next year you need some time, and space, to deal with your issues, and she has to deal with her own without you.

That may hurt you both for a while, but confusion is the last thing either of you needs right now.

Sorry, but put your recovery above all else at this time.

I know your question was unanswered, but only she knows what goes on in her head. Empathize with her though as she is trying to heal, and make sense of things as you are.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, sorry I am going to be tough, you are not taking responsibility, you are still blaming and callilng it a disease. It was a choice you made to drink, and now you have to make the choice not to.

You now also have to pay the price for the choices you made.
If or if not, is up to the ex, most likely she will not come back, but now, you get sober and remember what it made you lose.