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JJeremy · Feb 27, 2009, 06:07 AM

Ok, basically my girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. Ive been with her for 5 months and yes I do still love her. The thing is when she broke up she was crying... and she really wanted to be friends, she told me that when I'm ready to be friends and put the past aside I can call her and go meet her as friends. This is a hard thing for me cause I can't be just friends with the person I love... it's a difficult situation. The reason we broke up... Well nothing at all, she said that she doesn't feel the same way as we first met... What shall I do next, I want to get back with her. Should I wait a while.. How Long? Does she just need some time apart, or does she just want to be friends? I just don't no everything was going well and this has come out of the blue. :confused:
I just don't know what to tell her when I get to call her and tell her to meet me... Should I tell her I still love her? I know I shouldn't beg and that's not what she wants...
Sooo Please Give Me Some Word Of Advice :)

talaniman · Feb 27, 2009, 06:50 AM

Just me, when a females feelings have changed, for whatever reason it doesn't matter, you leave her alone, and heal, and move forward with your life.

Many of us cannot accept changes like that in our partners, and are so hurt we can't think, nor understand what's going on.

You can be friends after you heal, and get over the break up shock, but you will only be confused by asking a lot of questions, she probably can't answer, and see if she does take you back.

Accept what has happened, and leave her alone, until you can deal with a clear brain, and not hurt feelings.

JJeremy · Feb 27, 2009, 06:55 AM

So their is no chance for her to take me back?
No matter what happens, she won't?
Humm its disappointing... but I'm sure she still must like me enough to go back how things were... why did she cry when she left me?

kctiger · Feb 27, 2009, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by JJeremy

So thier is no chance for her to take me back?
No matter what happens, she wont?
Humm its disappointing... but im sure she still must like me enough to go back how things were... why did she cry when she left me?

Because it hurts to let go of something that has been apart of your life for a long period... she told you, truthfully, that she no longer cares about you the way she used to. This happens, and you CANNOT change that. The most important part of this process is you being able to accept that. And for God's sake, DO NOT be her friend, or try at all to be her friend.

Crying for someone you love is common... letting go of someone you are in love with is not... see the difference? Two types of love my man.

JJeremy · Feb 27, 2009, 07:04 AM

How can I not be friends with her...
She called me twice today and I hang up on her... I called her back saying I was sorry for being so sour and she was crying...
And I had to comfort her =.=
what's up with that? Yor telling me she has no feelings for me?

kctiger · Feb 27, 2009, 07:07 AM

Think about this with a brain! She cares for you, but obviously does not want to be with you... PERIOD! I understand you are over analyzing every action and emotion she shows you, which is normal... she loves you, but isn't in love with you. Get it?

And, why would you want to be ONLY friends with someone you are in love with? Can you handle watching her move on with her life... once she gets another guy, you would be out the door... sorry to be harsh, just the reality of these situations my friend.

JJeremy · Feb 27, 2009, 07:10 AM

Dude you can't be 100% right ):
I know people who have broken up and got back together like 3 times over, isent that a posibility?

I wish · Feb 27, 2009, 09:37 AM

You guys broke up for a reason. On again and off again relationships are full of arguments. If you break up once, it is easier to break up a second time. Do you really want this kind of emotion rollercoaster?

The harsh way of looking at this is, she already told you how she feels. It is time to accept and move on. But obviously you posted in this forum to get a better solution than that.

So here it is:

If you really want to get back with her, then wait a few weeks to let her calm down. She is obviously emotionally unstable right now, so you need to let her sort out her feelings. As for you, the next few weeks could be painful, but you got to keep your emotions in check and give her space. Also, during this time apart, it will be you time to reflect on the reasons you broke up and maybe learn how you approach her differently.

If you really love her, you should respect her. Do not contact her unless she contacts you. If she contacts you just keep the conversations short. Who knows, maybe she will realize that she misses you and might consider getting back together.

Then after distancing yourself for a few weeks, both of you will be calmer. Then find the right place and time to let her know that during the time apart, you really thought about your feelings. If you still love her by that time, let her know how you feel and see how she reacts.

But you got to be prepared that she might not feel the same way about you before you let her know that you still love her. Then, it will be time to move on for sure...

JJeremy · Feb 27, 2009, 09:57 AM

Well great that perfect, u never know what could happen I'm not expecting it to work but every relationship is worth a try people who care won't give up, Thax for the help

DSM521 · Feb 27, 2009, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by JJeremy

Well great that perfect, u never know what could happen im not expecting it to work but every relationship is worth a try people who care wont give up,, Thax for the help

I hope your not saying that you won't give up trying to get her back. That will only lead to disaster, and you killing any chance your relationship has. The only way to see if this can work is to give her space. Do not smother her, call her all the time, tell her how much you love her and want to be with her.

It is a very hard thing to go through and do but you need to back off and give her her space and time to think over her feelings. Just because you care does not mean you can care enough for the both of you.

Best advise I can give is back off give her as much time as she needs and be willing to let her go if that is what she needs. You can't make her love you period. She needs to know if she does or does not. Only she can answer that.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 27, 2009, 11:35 AM

Ok, basically my girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. Ive been with her for 5 months and yes I do still love her. The thing is when she broke up she was crying... and she really wanted to be friends, she told me that when I'm ready to be friends and put the past aside I can call her and go meet her as friends. This is a hard thing for me cause I can't be just friends with the person I love... it's a difficult situation. The reason we broke up... Well nothing at all, she said that she doesn't feel the same way as we first met... What shall I do next, I want to get back with her. Should I wait a while.. How Long? Does she just need some time apart, or does she just want to be friends? I just don't no everything was going well and this has come out of the blue. :confused:
I just don't know what to tell her when I get to call her and tell her to meet me... Should I tell her I still love her? I know I shouldn't beg and that's not what she wants...
Sooo Please Give Me Some Word Of Advice :)

Just follow these 5 easy steps:

Step 1. Read stickies at the top of the forum list.

Step 2. Argue that there's a better solution than to just "let go and move on" and hold on to that last shred of hope that she'll change her mind. Take every word or phrase she says to you and analyze if they contain any hidden meanings or messages that she wants you back.

Step 3. Be friends with her after us telling you not to, and comfort her which will allow her to heal and move on from you. Meanwhile, you start to see her date other guys while you suffer on the sidelines.

Step 4. Finally accept that is truly over and realize that you're only hurting yourself by keeping her in your life and finally go into the No Contact phase so you can heal your heart. You will delete her from your life, delete all numbers, contact info, facebook/myspace, IMs, basically everything that reminds you of her.

Step 5. After a long journey of NC, you look back realizing things are better off without her in your life, and you'll will wish you took our advice here sooner and wished you "let go and moved on" to begin with.

Sorry, probably not the advice you were looking for but I'm only trying to save you from going through some unnecessary pain. One of the biggest mistakes you're making right now is failing to realize that it takes both people in a relationship to make it work - remember she broke up with you instead of trying to work things out. Actions speak louder than words - otherwise you'd probably be at this very moment discussing how you could make your relationship work.