[Cheekedee]

My bf’s family (father, mother, sister and brother) hates me so much. They haven’t seen me yet but they said to my boyfriend that they hate me for the reason that I’m ugly. I doubt how they could determine my ‘ugliness’ even without seeing me in person (or my photo). :confused: But then again, when my boyfriend want to introduce me to his family, they refused to meet me. What should I do? :confused:

[DoulaLC]

What has your boyfriend said to these comments by your family? Has he spoken up to them about their rude behavior? If not, you may want to rethink your relationship with your boyfriend. I wonder what the reason for their reaction might be... since they haven't met you, or even seen a picture of you, it likely has more to do with him and his relationship with his family than it does with you.

Meet the family, if you get the chance, be polite and be yourself. Let them get a chance to know you. Maybe you will win them over when you finally do meet in person, maybe not.

It can be very difficult to have a relationship with someone when you know their family does not like you, especially if there is any hope of it becoming something long lasting.
Something to think about.

[chrissymarie]

I think your boyfriend is hiding you from his family. I don't think his family dislikes you at all. Have you ever heard them say something mean about you?

[Miss Helpful]

If you think that they don't like you, befriend them. Send them thoughtful cards on holidays, and flowers on special days. I even heard of this cool thing called edible arrangements that is a bouquet made of regular & chocolate covered fruits. I think that they would really appreciate that.

[Cheekedee]

My boyfriend did discuss this with them but they kept on saying “She’s not suitable for u!”. When my boyfriend asked them why I’m not suitable for him, his mom said “Don’t go against me! I'm ur mother! I know everything good and bad for u! If u marry her, u are no longer my son. I’d rather die! ”. Its not like they dislike me but apparently they HATE me. :(

I did, few times, try to meet up with them, to know them better and to prove that I’m not as bad as what they alleged me to be. But they reluctant to! So how can I sort things out? :confused:

I, once, have given my bf’s mom a dress. But assuming it was from me, she rejected it! :mad:

Sometimes I think; should I be lenient or should I be harsh to them. I'm the kind of ‘rebellious’ and keeping my mouth shut when being accused/humiliated like this was not my normal practice. Until now I'm still trying to be calm, try to cool off myself. So did my bf- trying to comfort me. He at all times saying that he doesn’t really care if I speak uncouthly to his family if they still provoking. He’s obviously on my side.

[Cheekedee]

Plus, I heard (I eavesdropped the phone conversation between my boyfriend and his mom) that she said she didn’t want me to be her daughter in law because I come from a poor family. But hey… they don’t even have an idea for what my parents are working as! My mom is a doctor and my father is a remisier (stock broker) and I don’t think we are that penniless! :mad:

[DoulaLC]

You have several options then.

Stand up for yourself and your boyfriend does as well, while continuing to try to make peace with them... in time, they may evenutally come around,

Ignore them... might be difficult to do since they are his family, perhaps your potential future inlaws, his mother sounds overbearing, and whether you eavesdrop again,

Find a new boyfriend... might be the easiest choice of all depending on how much involvement he has with his family and whether you see this relationship being long term.

Certainly not an easy situation to be in... I wish you well.