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meporter1 · Feb 23, 2009, 12:10 PM

Hello, I live in Michigan. My granddaughter lives in Indiana. Father pays support in Michigan. 1. Do I go through Michigan or Indiana? 2. I would like to know if I can seek visiting rights and how? From birth, my granddaughter has been to my house every other weekend. We are very close. I don't want that to end. My granddaughter is about 17months old. Do I have any rights at all? Thank you grandmother.

stevetcg · Feb 23, 2009, 01:54 PM

You go through Indiana. Which parent is your child? 2 depends on the answer to that. If you are the custodial parent's mother than you cannot get visitation. Does your child have visitation?

I am guessing that your son is the father. If that is the case, can you use or share his visitation? It will be much smoother that way.

More details are going to be needed.

meporter1 · Feb 23, 2009, 07:37 PM

Yes my son is the father. How can I use his visitation? There has been no visitation order done. My son is thinking about moving to Florida. I just have a feeling that the mother will not let me see my granddaughter. I am use to seeing her everyother weekend. When she see me is comes running to me. She comes to me more then her parents. I don't know why, but we are close. I feel for her safety. She lives with her partents(mother), in a three bedroom house. They have another daughter staying with them too. She has 3 kids and just as little as my grandbaby. So there is 4 adluts and 4 kids and 9 birds(big) and 4 dogs in cages. When my grand baby is sleeping she is up stairs no one can hear her if she is crying. There is no monitor. Then I found her sleeping with no sheet on the bed. So she was sleeping on a plastic mattress. The other grandmother has health problems and she can't hear very well. I just worry about my grandbaby. I want her to know that I am here for her. I want to make sure she is going to be okay. I am looking at the best enterest of the child. I just don't know what to do. I don't have a lot of money to fight. But if I can make it easy on everyone. I think it would be better. The child needs her mother but the child needs to know her daddy's side of the family too. The baby loves her daddy. She knows when she sees me that she is going to see her daddy. If you could help me. I thank you. I feel so lost. And worried.

Originally Posted by stevetcg

You go through indiana. Which parent is your child? 2 depends on the answer to that. If you are the custodial parent's mother than you cannot get visitation. Does your child have visitation?

I am guessing that your son is the father. If that is the case, can you use or share his visitation? It will be much smoother that way.

More details are going to be needed.

stevetcg · Feb 24, 2009, 05:08 AM

The first thing a court is going to ask is why your son doesn't have a visitation order. The second is going to be 'have you tried to work out visitation with the mother?'

As a parent of two, I can speak very strongly on the subject of having adults that love my kids and want to take them. It's a break for us, regardless of our feelings about the adults.

The issue that I am seeing is that regardless of the grandparent visitation law (and I have not looked it up yet) is that there are distances involved. They will likely not have the child travel for GP visitation. Are you willing to do all the travelling?

If there are health concerns with the child, the father REALLY needs to be the one involved. He has more rights than anyone.

With the GP visitation laws I have read, it usually stated something about the status of the non-custodial parent. Is there some reason your son does not have visitation?

Here is a good article for you to read: http://www.indianajustice.org/Data/D...rary=PublicWeb

stevetcg · Feb 24, 2009, 05:17 AM

Additionally, here is the actual state law: Indiana Code 31-17-5

It basically states that if you want visitation, you can petition the court in the child's home county and make your case. It does not attach many special considerations to it - 'best interest of the child' - which basically leaves it all up to the judge.

So in short, if your son cannot or will not get involved, you do have rights as the grandparent.

meporter1 · Feb 24, 2009, 06:04 AM

They both don't have the money and the state set it up for the mother. (child support). My son lives with me for right now. He isn't working. Both the mother and father lives with the parents. They both don't have money. So the only reason why there is no order in the courts, is because no one has filed one. I am trying to work it out with her. But she is acting very weird lately. We are only an hour away from the grandbaby. I was doing all the traveling. We tired to go with the guide lines of the parenting time where it says that one parent picks up and the other picks up at the other house. So there is sharing of the driving, Sense then is when she stated acting funny. My son is suppose to pick the baby up,but the mother says she doesn't want to see him so for me to pick her up. Now she said that she wants the father to pick up the baby . When I see something wrong that is going to harm the baby I tell her, so she knows. So I guess that she is getting mad at that. I don't want to see the baby in any harm.

Originally Posted by stevetcg

the first thing a court is going to ask is why your son doesnt have a visitation order. The second is going to be 'have you tried to work out visitation with the mother?'

As a parent of two, I can speak very strongly on the subject of having adults that love my kids and want to take them. Its a break for us, regardless of our feelings about the adults.

The issue that I am seeing is that regardless of the grandparent visitation law (and I have not looked it up yet) is that there are distances involved. They will likely not have the child travel for GP visitation. Are you willing to do all the travelling?

If there are health concerns with the child, the father REALLY needs to be the one involved. He has more rights than anyone.

With the GP visitation laws I have read, it usually stated something about the status of the non-custodial parent. is there some reason your son does not have visitation?

Here is a good article for you to read: Public Web

stevetcg · Feb 24, 2009, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by meporter1

They both don't have the money and the state set it up for the mother. (child support). My son lives with me for right now. He isn't working. Both the mother and father lives with the parents. They both don't have money. So the only reason why there is no order in the courts, is because no one has filed one. I am trying to work it out with her. But she is acting very weird lately. We are only an hour away from the grandbaby. I was doing all the traveling. We tired to go with the guide lines of the parenting time where it says that one parent picks up and the other picks up at the other house. so there is sharing of the driving, Sence then is when she stated acting funny. My son is suppose to pick the baby up,but the mother says she doesn't want to see him so for me to pick her up. Now she said that she wants the father to pick up the baby . When I see something wrong that is going to harm the baby I tell her, so she knows. So I guess that she is getting mad at that. I don't want to see the baby in any harm.

Ok - I see a problem here. Reasonable visitation is already available to you through your son. A court is unlikely to interfere with that.

And I know you are concerned with the welfare of your grandchild, but look at it from the mother's standpoint... you are telling her all the different ways that she is a bad mother. That is not going to ingratiate her to you. Yes, you are probably right about it, but sometimes you might just need to bite your tongue. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Every time my mother visits, I spend about a week convincing my fiancée that its OK and we do not need to cut off contact with her - because she tells us how to be parents. Its very frustrating. Im just saying...

What is the problem with your son picking up your grandchild?

meporter1 · Feb 24, 2009, 06:42 AM

Nothing at all. But she is the one that never wanted my son to pick her up. So that is fine. My son is thinking about going to Florida for work. I am just afraid that when he goes to Florida that I will never get to see my grandchild. She isn't a bad mother and I tell her that. But there are some things I worry about , like her safety, with those birds. They carrie a lot of things.

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Ok - I see a problem here. Reasonable visitation is already available to you through your son. A court is unlikely to interfere with that.

And I know you are concerned with the welfare of your grandchild, but look at it from the mother's standpoint... you are telling her all the different ways that she is a bad mother. That is not going to ingratiate her to you. Yes, you are probably right about it, but sometimes you might just need to bite your tongue. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Every time my mother visits, I spend about a week convincing my fiancee that its ok and we do not need to cut off contact with her - because she tells us how to be parents. Its very frustrating. Im just saying...

What is the problem with your son picking up your grandchild?

stevetcg · Feb 24, 2009, 06:49 AM

Originally Posted by meporter1

Nothing at all. But she is the one that never wanted my son to pick her up. So that is fine. My son is thinking about going to Florida for work. I am just afraid that when he goes to Florida that I will never get to see my grandchild. She isn't a bad mother and I tell her that. But there are some things I worry about , like her safety, with those birds. They carrie alot of things.

I hear what you are saying, but the court is going to tell you the same thing: try to work things out with the mother. The courts really don't like to get involved if they don't have to.

Perhaps agreeing to driving both ways? Fostering a good relationship with the mother will get you miles further than a court action. Particularly if you bring a visitation hearing up, it will pretty much ensure bad blood forever... and that will work against you.

I realize you worry about things... but keep in mind that even though you have concerns, it *can appear* to be a criticism regardless of any assurances that it's not.

So yes, after your son leaves, if you are denied access to your grandchild, you can petition the court for visitation, and from what I read of the laws, you stand a decent chance of reasonable visitation. But ultimately, a relationship with the mother where she feels comfortable with you will win you far more than a court might award.