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IdNeko · Feb 23, 2009, 03:14 PM

My best female friend has been going through some rough times recently. I know she has because she's been moping around a lot because her boyfriend broke up with her. But whenever I try to ask if I can help she snaps at me which leads to a fight because she starts insulting me or just goading me in some way. I always feel bad after these fights because they're not what I meant to do. I used to just hug her or something and we'd be fine. But last time I even put my hand on her shoulder she about punched me. I asked what it was for and she said that I had been a horrible boyfriend in the past. But we had broken up a year and a half ago so that wasn't a valid point but it still hurt. I want to try to help her get through her breakup but I don't know how to get close without her lashing out. Any ideas?

liz28 · Feb 23, 2009, 03:27 PM

Back off and leave her alone. Sometimes you can't help someone nor do they want to accept your help. If you don't want to lose any teeth back off and leave her alone and let her deal with it.

IdNeko · Feb 23, 2009, 03:39 PM

All right... I'll try that, it just feels wrong to let a friend suffer.

ordinaryguy · Feb 23, 2009, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by IdNeko

I always feel bad after these fights because they're not what I meant to do.

But they ARE what SHE meant to do. Back off.

talaniman · Feb 24, 2009, 07:51 AM

Its one thing to be a friend, its another to be a punching bag. Leave this fruitcake alone before you lose more than teeth. She is no friend.

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 24, 2009, 08:18 AM

Hmmm nice title. I understand that you want to be a good friend. However I can point something out.( this may not be the situation but here goes)

When I first split up with the ex I couldn't stand any attention from men. AT ALL. I just wanted to get away from them, full stop. Even friends. Above is right, leave her alone before you lose some teeth.

Romefalls19 · Feb 24, 2009, 08:37 AM

Leave her alone, let her resolve her issues alone or you will end up looking like Rocky

jmw0713 · Feb 24, 2009, 08:37 AM

Yes, leave her alone. Let her settle down for a while. She will contact you when she is ready to hang out again, or whatever.

HistorianChick · Feb 24, 2009, 08:45 AM

Breakups are always painful, and honestly, it seems that she may be reliving YOUR breakup every time she sees you... Almost like you're adding insult to injury.

She needs to deal with this away from you. You two have a history, yes, but she needs to heal from this breakup - and that healing will probably be hastened when you're out of the picture. It seems like every time she sees you, she thinks, "Gee, HE dumped me too, there's something wrong with me."

Be there for her, but from a distance... literally... :)