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xCooliox · Feb 23, 2009, 12:24 PM

Hey....My friends are being kinda mean to me and I'm always being left out. I have 4 best friends (one has other best friends than us so she hangs around most of the time... its the other 3 thats the problem) for example if theres supposed to be 3 in a group I'm automatically left out. I avoid their fights and when the other 2 go off with each other the one whos fighting them comes to me and I hate being used. I would stand up for myself but I can't, I hate hurting others peoples feelings... sometimes I just ignore them. This started happening when we were all put in the same class.My long time best friend isn't close to me anymore and its become a real problem. Today one of my friends completly ignored me just because I wouldn't answer a stupid question she asked me... shes the one that causes fights all the time and loves to show off.... Any suggestions?:confused:

BIGBOPPER · Feb 23, 2009, 12:42 PM

Sad thing is, people change. Try to make new friends and just drift away from that group and into a more positive group who are willing to include you. If your longtime B.F.F. still wants it to be your friend, she'll find a way to make it happen. But if her attentions are with the other two, then C'est La Vie`...
And don't worry, this happens to just about every person. I have dumped, been dumped by more than one B.F.F.

xCooliox · Feb 23, 2009, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by BIGBOPPER

Sad thing is, people change. Try to make new friends and just drift away from that group and into a more positive group who are willing to include you. If your longtime B.F.F. still wants it to be your friend, she'll find a way to make it happen. But if her attentions are with the other two, then C'est La Vie`...
And don't worry, this happens to just about every person. I have dumped, been dumped by more than one B.F.F.

Thank you for that advice but the problem is I'm spending 3 weeks with them at a summer camp.. its already booked and I can't get out of it.. I should have mentioned that actually

dontknownuthin · Feb 23, 2009, 01:57 PM

Take the lead! Be the one who makes the plans and does the inviting, and broaden your group to include some more people.

And get involved in school. Don't worry what other people think is lame, just join what you like and there will be instant friends waiting for you. You can be very nice and accepting of what other people do, but you have to also control the degree that their decisions impact you. If you have a lot of friends and three decide to hang out without you, who cares? If you have three friends and they hang out without you? It stinks.

I what not particularly cute and my interests in high school were pretty nerdy I have to say, but I joined a lot of stuff I liked, made a lot of friends, and was the one who made a lot of the plans. I ended up with more friends than the so-called popular kids.

And in fact, my friends then are still my friends - over 35 years later we see each other all the time - the girls, the guys. And I've continued to be one of the people who makes the plans, and makes the first effort.
For example, I've known other people who lost their guy friends when the guys got married... not me. I make the effort to become friends with their wives, to make them feel welcome in our group of friends. And then they have kids, and our kids become friends...

It's not hard, just be inclusive, and make sure that your life is interesting enough that other people want to join you, then flat out ask them. Don't feel you can't mix people together... your party, invite who you want to see and trust them to manage their relationships with each other.