[lostwife2008]

My husband and I got married almost 7 months ago. Throughout our whole engagement (almost 2 years) there were ups and downs but we worked through them all. Just before we got married I found out he had asked another women to go "parking" with him. After bring this to his attention that I knew, he said he didn't mean anything by it and was "just joking" After persistently telling him that is not something to joke around about, he apologized and swore to never do it again. Three days before our wedding he lost his job.

We are currently still living with my mother-in-law because he is not making enough money for us to get our own place. (I work full time making decent money, but we have a lot of debt due to the loss of his job) He liked to spend money on things he doesn't need even though he knows we are in great financial trouble. I know I made a big mistake by getting married when we were having problems already, but I thought that it would get better.

Just a week ago, this same women informed me that my husband told her that "I wish I would have never got married. I feel tied down" and also said "I wish I would have known you better before I got married because I can see myself with you." After arguing with him about it, he finally admitted it happened, but again swore that he was changing. Swore that he loved me and only me and he was just feeling depressed with everything going on. I told him that if I found out he was lying or hiding anything else from me here on out that I was done. Divorce if not something I wish to do, but if he continues to lie I don't know where else to go. I am trying to be a faithful Christian and am looking to God to help me, but I feel so depressed and myself esteem just keeps dropping.

Also, ever since this happened I have been thinking a lot about my ex boyfriend. Him and I had a very serious relationship that ended because I felt he was holding me back from my friends. But every day I have been thinking about how much better my life would be if I was still with him. He has a full time job and is supporting himself very well. Besides having issues with me hanging out with friends, he was the most genuine guy and cared so much for me.

I don't want to talk to my family about the situation because the first thing they will say is "get rid of him" but again I am trying to be a faithful Christian and divorce should only happen when adultery is committed.

I am stuck and I have no idea what to do or where to go. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do? Anything would be appreciated

[450donn]

Sadly, you made the mistake in believing that you could change him, or that marriage would make him grow up. Neither ever works.
I think it is time you sit him down and have a straight foreword conversation. Explain to him how you feel and see if he is willing to submit to professional counseling or not. Then you have decisions to make.

[sweet_orange]

I think you should make a quick decision before the kids come- don't make the mistake of having kids too soon.If you really love this guy,or even if you guys share a decently good relationship, n BOTH want to *sincerely* work on it-not just mere words- go to a counsellor.. If I were in your place and didn't feel like it's going in the right direction,I'd probably leave soon (if I weren't very deeply in love with this guy).Your ex may not be able to accommodate you into his life(it's great if that works out),but even then,U've at least taken one step to be free from a relationship that would just mean mere bondage for both of you.It looks like your husband says something different from what he says.Is he scared of the consequences? Get it sorted out once and for all.

[sweet_orange]

Oops!! *********It looks like your husband says something different from what he feels.

[BLONDE_MAFIA]

Well my b.f cheated on me and I wish I didn't take him back, I love him to death but I'm christian and I'm very loyal anad he wasn't loyal to me. NOw I'm pregnant lol so I'm stuck but you aren't stuck yet you can get a annolment and if not get a divorce you don't want to spend your life wth someone who obviously isn't committed to you. He sounds useless. Dump him and get out on your own two feet, you'll be fine and I guarantee you you'll look back and be married to an amazing guy who only loves you and be thankful you did. It's not being an unfaithful christian if he slept with another girl. After all god wants us to be happy and your depressed so your obviously not.