[millyc]

I have been dating my insignifant other for the past 7 months. We had been friends for 8 months prior. He is 40 years old, never been married, never lived with a girlfriend. He does not refer to us as boyfriend or girlfriend but shows that he cares for me in many ways. When I tell him that I've had enough and stop talking to him, he pursues me nonstop and apologizes, etc but doesn't commit. The top to the lid was this past Valentine's Day... I asked what we were doing and he said he didn't celebrate V-Day... I was hysterical, I thought he was going out with someone else. He then told me to pick up my present and bring pizza. I was a little happy thinking, okay, he just doesn't want to do the whole V-day dinner mushy stuff. So I brought over the pizza and watched a movie at his house. Then he said that he was going out around midnight with his brother to a nightclub but didn't invite me... I fought with him and told him that I couldn't take it anymore... I cried all the way home! He kept calling me and texting me, finally left me a message to call him that he wasn't going out anymore... but it was too late, he ruined my Valetine's Day. Is he a commitment phobe or just not into me? He was alone and called me all night long? Should I give up? I'm hurt and confused... HELP!

[Justwantfair]

Now I am with a Commitment Phobe, took four and a half years to live together. After five years, the idea of marriage still gets him all nervous and he is 34 AND wants to have children. If you think that your partner is a commitment phobe you have A lot more to go through before your relationship makes any ground. I know that I am loved and that my partner is COMMITTED to the relationship and me in many other ways.

You have to choose what you want for your life because if he has that problem you are in a relationship that you may find yourself disappointed with A lot.

He hurt you on Valentines Day, you are not apparently getting along for various other reasons. If you are not happy, you need to move on.