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keeganandmiley · Feb 12, 2009, 06:06 PM

My fiancé and I have been raising my son for the last 20 months with another one due in a few days. My son has his last name and his name is listed as the father on his birth certificate. He's been supporting him since birth and has developed a father son bond. My ex boyfriend now 20 months later thinks he maybe the father wants DNA testing and stated that if he is my sons last name is to be changed and my fiancé is to have no rights to my son. If it turns out that my ex is the father is there anything I can do to avoid having to change my sons last name so my children don't have different last names.. and so my fiancé still has rights. We planned on getting married this summer which I would be taking his last name regardless. I just don't want one of our children to have a different last name and have my ex rip apart the bond my fiancé has built with my son already...

keeganandmiley · Feb 12, 2009, 06:10 PM

My fiancé and I have been raising my son for the last 20 months with another one due in a few days. My son has his last name and his name is listed as the father on his birth certificate. He's been supporting him since birth and has developed a father son bond. My ex boyfriend now 20 months later thinks he maybe the father wants DNA testing and stated that if he is my sons last name is to be changed and my fiancé is to have no rights to my son. If it turns out that my ex is the father is there anything I can do to avoid having to change my sons last name so my children don't have different last names.. and so my fiancé still has rights. We planned on getting married this summer which I would be taking his last name regardless. I just don't want one of our children to have a different last name and have my ex rip apart the bond my fiancé has built with my son already... Is there anyway my fiancé can legally adopt my son without having to go through my ex... my ex hates my fiancé and is trying everything in his power now to break us up and destroy our family.. I can only imagine what he'd do if he was the father! Please HELP

ScottGem · Feb 12, 2009, 07:00 PM

First, your ex is entitled to his rights as the bio father, if he is. But he's also responsible for the child if he is. So, if he wants the DNA test tell him to make everything legal and apply for a court order. If the DNA test shows he's the father, then file immediately for child support, even back support if the court allows.

Its unlikely he will get primary custody, but will probably get visitation.

Unfortunately your fiancée has very little rights. Once you are married he will be the step father, but that's it.

Your best hope is that, when your ex finds out what he will have to pay in support, he may decide to relinquish his rights so your fiancée can adopt after you are married.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 12, 2009, 07:38 PM

Your ex if he has reason to believe this is his child, has full rights to go to the court and ask for a DNA test. If he is the father, that means there was a errror on the birth certificate. ( perhaps fraud if you knew there was a chance) and the non father can be removed.

If he turns out to be the father your fiancée has n real rights and never will be.

stevetcg · Feb 13, 2009, 07:44 AM

He can request the paternity testing if your state allows it at this point. There is a statute of limitations on it though... 2 years in many places.

Even if your ex is found to be the father, he does not get to dictate the child's last name. If you don't agree to a name change, there won't be one. He can want anything he wants... unless there is a compelling reason, the court won't even entertain his argument without your consent.

The rights of your fiancée have nothing to do with the child's name.

ScottGem · Feb 13, 2009, 08:21 AM

First, please don't start a new thread with a follow-up question. Use the Answer This Question options. I've merged the two threads for you. Note also, that this is a legal issue, not a child issue so its been moved from the Children's forum to the Family Law forum.

There is really nothing you can do to get rights for your fiancée if the bio father objects. Once married, he will be their stepfather and will have the limited rights of a stepparent.

As far as the name is concerned, you can use any name you want as long as there is no intent to defraud. So you should be able to register the child in school (for example) using your married name. But wherever a legal name is required, the name on the birth certificate needs to be used.

As I said earlier, your best hope is to go after the bio father for support. He may think again about allowing an adoption to get out of paying support.

cdad · Feb 13, 2009, 04:10 PM

You can do a home DNA test with your fiancé and that could relieve a lot of stress should he come back the father. If you know for sure that your ex IS the father then the courts may grant a name change of some form based on the fact that your fiancé isn't any relation whatsoever to the child and the document was falsified.