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Motley008 · Feb 11, 2009, 05:35 PM

Just recently, I have begun to distance myself from my friends and family. I don't have any idea why. Friends I've had for years, I've found myself uninterested in anything they say to the point where I avoid their phone calls and texts. I feel like I have nothing in common with them anymore, which I know happens, but this is very sudden.

At school, my classes are small, and I know everyone (I am in graduate school). I find myself getting overwhelming feelings of anger and hate towards the people in my class. I go to school and straight home, trying not to speak to anyone if I can help it. And when I can't avoid everyone, I am so overwhelmed with disgust and feelings of hate and anger that I become silent and can't even talk to them for fear of blowing up at them for what they would see as no apparent reason. And I know there isn't really a reason for it and I have no idea why I am like this.

There are 2 people in my class that I became close with last semester and I study with them and we take smoke breaks outside together between classes, but the beginning of this semester I have even began to feel these feelings towards them, even though I still talk to them regularly. It's almost as if I'm obsessed with how much I hate people and these feelings overwhelm me and take over any other thought or feeling in my body.

It's almost like I'm annoyed all the time. I'm annoyed at how people do anything they do. I even have been getting annoyed at my mother for just asking me how my day was, or when I have to go to work next. I'm annoyed when my dad talks to me or when my brother tells me something. I get annoyed with how people sit in class even-just petty little stuff and I can't seem to help myself. I used to go out a lot but don't anymore, and last Friday I did and I felt annoyed and wanted to go home the entire time. I work out, and study and am not unmotivated when it comes to those things, so I don't think I'm depressed, but I really don't know what it is.

I don't know what this could be. I am just looking for any sort of opinion because I made an appointment with a doctor for next week. I want to maybe look some disorders up and research them, if this is a disorder and I want to explain this to the doc in better wording to see what they think. Just to clarify: I feel this way towards every single person in my life, and it has come about only a month ago. I have tried to talk to people more and try to force myself to, thinking that it's all in my head and if I'm isolating myself then of course I'll feel distant, but it hasn't helped and it makes me feel more anger, hate and annoyance when I do talk to people. Any thoughts would be appreciated. And thanks for reading.

give2me1lemons · Feb 11, 2009, 06:37 PM

Maybe you're bored. Maybe you spend too much time with these people and want to meet new people. Maybe you need a change of scenery. That's just my best guess though.

I wish you luck. Life can be lonely without friends, and that may be where you are headed if you continue to ostracize people.

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Motley008

this is very sudden.

Something happened recently. Think about it. What was it? What happened to make you change?

Choux · Feb 11, 2009, 08:52 PM

Twenty-one is a crucial age in the life of an individual. It is the crossroad of leaving adolescence behind and becoming a functioning adult in society.

If mental health issues are going to come to a head, this is a common time for serious symptoms to begin. You are having serious symptoms, in my opinion.

Be sure and get help so you don't suffer, :)

Motley008 · Feb 11, 2009, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Something happened recently. Think about it. What was it? What happened to make you change?

I have thought the same thing, but I can't think of anything. A new semester started, with all the stresses as a normal semester of school has, but I did not feel this way last semester, so I can't think of a specific event that has caused this change in me.

simoneaugie · Feb 11, 2009, 10:15 PM

If you dig down into the heart of how you feel, if you are really angry, disgusted and annoyed at others, you will find fear. That would be your own fear, tied to shame. Shame is hard to even admit to ourselves.

On a lighter note, I used to get angry and annoyed with people I went to class, or studied with. Anti-depressants really helped. The shame and fear stuff still had to be worked out though, later.

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2009, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Motley008

I have thought the same thing, but I can't think of anything. A new semester started, with all the stresses as a normal semester of school has, but I did not feel this way last semester, so I can't think of a specific event that has caused this change in me.

You're reacting to something that happened maybe? Something's causing you to close up and to hide inside yourself?