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layton1 · Feb 8, 2009, 02:57 AM

Hi my son is now 7 months old the father has not really shown me that he wants to be a dad to him he is threataning that he will go for custody he is in the armed forces now and thinks he can. Also I do not want to add him to the birth certifite cause he is denying my son to csa saying that he has had no dna test done even though we had one done about 3 months ago just wondering by law do I have to add him on the birth certificate, can he take me to court to get it on there and if I get married can I change my sons name to my married name with out the fathers permission, also can I get in trouble by the law for refussing to add him to the birth certificate and after my son is a year old what rights does the father have if he is still not on the birth certificate thank you for your time.

IDLfriend · Feb 8, 2009, 10:41 AM

You don't have to add the father's name to the birth Certificate now, but if he does take you to court and a blood test proves that he is the father the Judge will change the birth Certificate. But worry some guys who threaten to take mothers to court are only trying to scare you in to doing what they want. But if he does remember the following: 1. the judge will only give him every other weekend 2. you can ask for child support and 3. it is very important to always keep a custody journal to write down your child's father conversation and acts. To your other Question if you get married you can not change your child's last name to your married name, but the new husband can adopt your child with the fathers permission or if the father can not be found to contest the adoption.
In a Custody Journal important to write down the following: Time and date of conversation, all that was said and done during the conversation, if there were any witness, if the parent visits child or does not show up to a scheduled. Remember When in doubt write out. I how this will help.

cdad · Feb 8, 2009, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by IDLfriend

You don't have to add the father's name to the birth Certificate now, but if he does take you to court and a blood test proves that he is the father the Judge will change the birth Certificate. But worry some guys who threaten to take mothers to court are only trying to scare you in to doing what they want. But if he does remember the following: 1. the judge will only give him every other weekend 2. you can ask for child support and 3. it is very important to always keep a custody journal to write down your child's father conversation and acts. To your other Question if you get married you can not change your child's last name to your married name, but the new husband can adopt your child with the fathers permission or if the father can not be found to contest the adoption.
In a Custody Journal important to write down the following: Time and date of conversation, all that was said and done during the conversation, if there were any witness, if the parent visits child or does not show up to a scheduled. Remember When in doubt write out. I how this will help.

There is no way that someone from a website can determine what a judge will really do. Its poor advice at best to think you can predict what's going to happen. The truth is you never know. Have you had a court ordered DNA test done ?

cdad · Feb 11, 2009, 02:03 PM

( quote ) IDLfriend disagrees: you need to reread the answer again. ( end quote )

( quote )But if he does remember the following: 1. the judge will only give him every other weekend ( end quote )

You wrote that. Do you have anything to back that up as some kind of law that stretchs into the OP's court system ? No Im sure you don't. You can't predict what a judge will say or do. A guess is the best that can be made. And in this case you were wrong to advise the OP like you had. It can give false hope.

ScottGem · Feb 11, 2009, 02:08 PM

Comments on this post
IDLfriend disagrees: you need to reread the answer again.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Califdad was correct. You stated what a judge will do. Making such a prediction is not good advice. However, your answer did have some good advice in it.

ScottGem · Feb 11, 2009, 02:11 PM

If the father is not listed on the B/C he has not rights until a court determines he's the legal father.

You may or may not get in trouble for not putting the name on the because unless you weren't sure who the father was.

If you need to get publkic assistance to support your child, they will require that you identfiy the father and they will go after him for support.

The likelihood of him getting custody is small, he would have to prove you unfit as a mother.

Synnen · Feb 11, 2009, 02:22 PM

The likelihood of him getting FULL custody is small.

The likelihood of him getting visitations, ESPECIALLY if he pays his child support, is much more likely.

Seriously--why are you denying your son his father? Is it simply because YOU do not like the father? Or because he's actually a threat to the child?

If he's not a threat--then what's the problem with visitations and him having a say in his child's life?