[Jlesnik33]

Im lesbian. I have a girlfriend of two years almost three.. about last jan my girlfriend had sex with her ex girlfriend saying that it was because she was mad at me and it just happened. I had found out in aug 7 months after it happened. I said I didn't want her talking to her anymore and she said fine but she did anyway.. after our huge fight and I told her why it bothered me she said fine I understand and hasn't talked to her since.. as far as I no.. But do I trust her? Because sometimes I get worried that she will do it again. And I don't no what to do about the whole thing. I no she loves me though. UGHH help please

[neverme]

No you don't trust her...are you serious????


This girl does not give a **** about you.

Stop allowing someone to abuse you.

If you lay down and tack a 'welcome' sign on your head then you will get walked over.

You are better than this. MUCH BETTER

We as people are insecure enough without having the person that claims to love and support us ripping us down too.

Leave, walk away now.

[Jlesnik33]

See that's my problem I don't know how to just let things go and not let people walk all over me, how to handle the situation, or even what to say

I use to always stick up for myself and never let anyone walk all over me.. but when I got in this relationship I changed inside out

[Bonita--]

I agree with neverme, you need to leave this girl. If she had sex with someone else because she was mad at you, then she doesn't have real feelings for you. You can find someone who will treat you better and love for who you are. It's hard at first but in the end it will be better for you and you'll be happier.

[Irishgirl]

Obviously you don't trust her anymore or you wouldn't ask the question,you said this girl changed you and believe me from personally experience walk away sooner rather than later or you'll never be able to go back to being you. Oh and if you found out about this what do you not know about? People often admit to the lesser evil rather than be caught with the greater. The hardest thing for me would be the thought of all the personal time spend in that 7 months when she found it so easy to lie to you

[Jlesnik33]

Well she wasn't the one who told me she cheated on me it was actually her ex girlfriend who text me and told me that kim my girlfriend told her that we had broken up and that they had sex. But him told me that everybody makes mistakes. And why else would she tell me she doesn't want me to her. When I was about to break up with her she cried and said don't leave me please I'm sorry

[neverme]

Oh does she start to feel sorry for herself then?

Come on, you are better than this!

You deserve better than this, you know it and I know it.

As long as you're around her, she will control you. She controls how you feel, who you're with, and I'm going to guess a lot more of your life.

Is this what you want out of a relationship or do you want to be happy?

Sometimes we just have to let a relationship go.

It's not easy but have courage and faith in the future.

[Jlesnik33]

Omg wow! How did you no she controls me. She always bosses me around to get her a drink to make her something to eat text me to come home she "misses" me

[neverme]

I'm just very very good!

LOL

I've been there, can you not see that it's time to let it go?

There's a world of possibilities out there. Breaking up is hard to do but if you're not truly happy then that's what you have to do.

Be honest with yourself.

[Jlesnik33]

Lol funny part is right when you sent that control thing, she just asked for a soda and a tissue. Is there any way she could care though and that she did change after that whole cheating thing?

[neverme]

Nothing is impossible... likely is another story altogether...

[Jlesnik33]

How would I know? And what could I say to her and tell her how I feel with out it starting a fight... because she always tells me babe its the past just let it go. How old are you? Your very good at this.

[neverme]

Lol thank you. I'm 22.

It's no longer about her, it's about you.

Stop and think about it seriously. Do you trust her?

Communication and Trust are the two most important things in a relationship. If you are lacking in either they are serious red flags. You obviously are still hurt about this so it's not in the past! It would greatly annoy me if I was being told to just let something go that was so important.

I was in a relationship where my girlfriend kissed someone else. She came straight home and told me. I forgave her but it rocked our trust and in the end we just couldn't get over it. I stayed in the relationship for over a year after this. We tried to make it work but it didn't. That's the thing about trust, if it's shaken or broken, it is a long and weary path back to what used to seem so easy. That path has to be taken on in equal parts by both parties and you have to support each other through it all, the ups and downs. If communication is gone, and it is if she simply keeps dismissing it, then really I see no way back.

This is just my thoughts, you're the only one who can give yourself the answers.

[Jlesnik33]

How would I bring it up to her that its bothering me with out me seeming to "pesty" about the situation

[neverme]

Well can you answer some questions..

Does she still see her ex?

Why did her ex feel the need to tell you?

What has she said about it in the past?

Once again, do you trust her?

[Jlesnik33]

As far as I no, she does not. She's always home when I call meaning she's not out anywhere. And she acts more lively not trying to hide something

He ex told me on her birthday she was trying to make kims birthday living hell which worked because I was pissed

What she said in the past was I was I no it hurt and I'm sorry baby and she started to cry but then a few months later she was talking to her and kim told me she didn't want to loose a best friend.. because alex her ex girlfriend was and I no this for a fact the only other friend she has ever had.


And for the trusting part I do.. but it makes me nervous

[neverme]

as far as i no

The fact that your post started like this says a lot! You don't even know that you know where she is.

he ex told me on her birthday she was trying to make kims birthday living hell which worked because i was pissed

what she said in the past was i was i no it hurt and im sorry baby and she started to cry but then a few months later she was talking to her and kim told me she didnt want to loose a best friend.. because alex her ex girlfriend was and i no this for a fact the only other friend she has ever had.

Neither of these girls are over each other. If your girlfriend can't see that someone who comes in to sabotage their life on their birthday of all times is not a friend at all, never mind a best friend! She has other reasons for keeping her in her life.

The ironic thing is, about 3 months into my relationship with my ex, an ex came on the scene and tried to royally f*** everything up. This was the origin of all of our problems and the source of countless fights. It wasn't what caused us to end because my girlfriend realised after a painful time fir us both that this girl was simply toxic and just looking for attention but all in the same... Maybe it's just something sapphic, who knows? :D

[chrissymarie]

Sorry to say but someone who really love you would NEVER sleep with someone else because they were mad. That's just immature and slutty.

I'd say let her go until she can prove to you she deserves your trust again. You're the only person who knows what it'll take for you to trust her again. You shouldn't have to constantly wonder what your partner is up to.

[neverme]

Chrissymarie, if she's going to leave her she has to leave her for good, there's no point playing games that's immature.

[chrissymarie]

neverme: I'm not telling her to play a game. She knows what her partner needs to do to regain trust and if she thinks there really is nothing her partner can do to move on then she just needs to break it off with her for good. Sometimes people deserve a second chance.