[princessdiva]

I know that most of you who just read my title are saying that I am insane. I have a very big problem about my sexual relationship with my partner. We spent 6 years together before we got married. We've done things to express our love but we never did intercourse because something is trying to stop me from trying. May I point out that I was sexually abused when I was 6 years old.

I don't really feel safe with condoms because I heard that they are very unsafe and I've been married for 2 months and I surely don't want kids for now. I also heard that doing intercourse for the first time is very painful and a lot of women can bleed also.

How can I overcome this problem and start living a normal married life? I'm afraid I lose my husband if we continue this lifestyle. He supported me a lot because he never told me anything about it and he just loves me for the things we've done in the entire 6 years and strangeley enough... IN OUR HONEYMOON!! Any help please? I am 23 years old. Thanks

[greg73]

Sex for the first time and for some women the first several times will be painful. It will be until you bleed. Condoms are safe, your other choice is the pill. My wife and I were trying to have a baby for almost a year before she got pregnant. I had no idea how hard it was to do. But back to your issue. I would first start by talking to your husband about it. Take it slow, the only way you will ever enjoy it is if you are comfortable and relaxed with yourself and your partner.

[Synnen]

Have you ever had counseling for your sexual abuse?

[Fr_Chuck]

You will need and should be getting serious counseling.

Condoms when used properly are 97 percent effective, and not dangerous at all. But there are many other types of creams and pills and other forms of birth control you can use.

As for as the pain, there is slight pain sometimes for some women but nothing to stop you from the pleasure that also comes

[Choux]

If you were sexually abused, then, you are not a virgin and sex with your husband will not hurt.

What's really going on here? :)

[Justwantfair]

Without any clarification of what the sexual abuse was, (and she doesn't have to clarify that for us) I don't think we can assume that she lost her virginity at that time.

Your nervousness is to be expected, you have a very patient husband. I would recommend therapy if you have not deal with the issues of abuse, but if you are comfortable with your husband sex should not be painful. Just take your time.

Good luck to you and God bless.

[Justwantfair]

Sexual abuse is ANY sexual conduct with a person who lacks the mental capacity to exercise consent.

[chrissymarie]

Just do it with him. He's your husband. You'll be fine.

[liz28]

I agree with Synn counseling is needed because the sexual abuse might be holding you back and that's not uncommon.