[brewer44]

I'm 25 and dated a girl who is 23 for 6 months. Our relationship moved extremlly quickly. She pretty much came over oneday and never left. I felt trapped because I had to give so much attention to her so quickly. She told me on more the one occasion that she wants a punching bag because she has so much anger. She said the anger came from wanting she had more friends(when we met she did not have a single close friend), wishing she did smarter things with her money in the past. She also told me she was sexually molested for 7 years. She never would talk about it again. I think part of the anger comes from that as well. She broke up with me because she felt manipulative and that I deserved someone better.

My question is can somebody with that much built up anger ever have a healthy relationship?

[Justwantfair]

I am not sure why you are concerned, but she would have to deal with her issues in order to have a healthy relationship, but there are plenty of individuals that can never maintain a healthy relationship.

I think she was right to move on and tell you that you could find someone better because the way you described her sounds as if she really wasn't ready for a healthy relationship.

[artlady]

Anyone can learn to cope with anger.Hence,anger management.It takes work and for some people it takes therapy.I think anger in this case is most likely a result of molestation and should definitely be addressed by a therapist.

Your talking about molestation that must have occurred since she was very small.That is a lot of repressed anger.With help,hopefully someday she can have a healthy relationship.

Her anger is also misplaced and so there is the problem of denial.She is blaming herself for mistakes when in reality she is blaming herself for her molestation.

That's my psych.101 appraisal. I'm not being flippant,I know I sound like a shrink and I'm not one.

I think before you go any further with her you need to understand the severe repercussions of childhood molestation and what is does to someone on a very deep level.It scars people for life.

[talaniman]

You may love her, but can't help her with her issues, so leave her alone to get herself together.

[neverme]

She needs to do this one on her own, try being the close friend she doesn't have.