[zoie123]

I think I know the answer to my question, but I wanted to see what others may have to say.

I have been in a relationship for no time at all and we are still in the learning stage. We both have been in serious relationships in the past and got seriously hurt, so we both are pretty resistant and scared.

The situation is last weekend for my birthday we got into a bit of an argument over something pretty stupid (He doesn't want to take me snowboarding) But what happened is I flashed back to my old relationship when he put absolutely everything that he liked doing first and me very last. I didn't know what to think and at the same time I learned that I was acting like his ex when they broke up and one of the reasons they did break up. He was pretty upset about the whole thing and than the next night I invited him out to a club with his friend. I of course was in a bad mood and had too much to drink. It wasn't that I was ignoring him, but definitely did my own thing. Yep this upset him even more. The next day he explained to me that he was a bit frustrated and I apologized realizing what I had done. But than he stopped calling, he did finally text me explaining that he was sick and needed time to think. I understood that and gave him his space, but after 6 days I wanted to know what he was thinking and if we could move forward, nope still wasn't ready. He finally agreed to talk with me on the 8th day. It was a really good talk and we found out a lot more about each other, left it on a good note, but he did tell me that he didn't know if he should be in a relationship right now and if he still wasn't over his ex. I told him I don't think I would ever get over my ex and understand if they both are still friends. But he only has been separated for 5months, me 1yr and a half and definitely know we will never get back together. This did worry me, but like I said he left saying he truly liked me and wanted to continue to hang out~

I called him two days later to see if he wanted to hang out. Didn't respond for a while, than I thought maybe I told him too much... He did finally text and said "can't sorry will explain later" Now I was a bit freaked.

Well he finally called me the next day and told me that he wasn't avoiding me, but he is going through some serious right now and doesn't know what to do. He than proceeded to tell me that his ex is very very sick and has called him to take her to the hospital etc. He of course being the extremely nice guy that he is has been helping her out and that is why he couldn't make it the other night. I was hurt, but I wasn't going to be a selfish about it. I told him that I would most definitely be there for him and if he needed to talk at all please don't hesitate to call. I than said I wasn't sure If he and I would work and he told me that I was being pessimistic. I want to try my hardest to make things work, but don't want to get hurt.

Yeah well my questions is- How long should I give him to support his ex until I approach him about us. I just want to know if there is any chance that he will be getting back together with her. And since he was the first one that she confided in and he than proceeded to tell me he wasn't sure if he was over her yet... I think I'm up a creek.
Should I hang in there and tell him I will be there until he tells me that he just doesn't think it will work. I know it should definitely just be a friendship thing for right now right??
What is your input... It's hard I really have begun to fall for him after the fact that he was sooo into me that he tracked me down after 9yrs and couldn't get enough of me, freaked me out. But I realized that this guy is for real, a rarity! Want to stay close, but how close?? I know I need to protect myself as well, but I don't want to put up another wall either...

[artlady]

I think you should cut your losses and get out now before you invest anymore into this emotionally.

His priorities are somewhere else and him saying he isn't sure if he is over her yet it saying he isn't into you.

Sounds harsh,sorry but I think its time to bow out gracefully and let them try to work out their issues.

There will be other people who are ready for a relationship but he isn't.

Lot of fish in the sea.

[jjwoodhull]

It sounds as if your relationship was not too solid to begin with. Now he is taking care of a sick ex. If you want, remain friends with him. But do not pursue a relationship right now. This is not a good time for him.

If it is meant to be, it will work out. But for now you could only get hurt.

[talaniman]

I am sure you have other things in your life to do and enjoy, because he has other things he is doing. No way should you waste time on someone who is too busy for you. No Way!!

[neverme]

No you owe him nothing. You have tried so has he. He's not ready for a relationship so GO!

You'll be just fine on your own not to worry!

He doesn't deserve someone who puts this much into such a fledgling relationship if he won't put in the effort too!