[Dud]

Ok, first of all in love I don't mean it in a gay way at all, that's sick. I love my best friend like I do my family and my pets. But I don't know if my best friend loves me at all. He's one of the most popular kids in school.

Everyone cares about him, and of course he is everyone's best friend. Do you know how this makes me feel? NO, don't tell me to make new friends and forget about him and just remember the good times together. That's not the answer in for it. I've tried killing myself a lot because of this.

He has another best friend, and he says he is the only one that makes him "happy" when he feels down. I can't? What the hell. He always talks to his other best friend more.

If I died, people would eventually get over it in school. If my best friend died, people would be so sad and never forget it. I'm just a shadow. People don't know or care about me.

He gets so much attention just because he looks cool and acts funny. People judge me by my face, take one look and ignore me. Well, I will die just to see how many people would care. I only know my family would.

Its not fair. I'm not special in any way. "I am no better than anyone else and no one is better than me" is what he said. Then how can you have a best friend? I don't get it. I always hurt myself because of this stuff, and I don't care how stupid you think I am. Maybe I am really stupid, and maybe that's what god wanted me to be. Messed up. Lifeless. Different. All I really deserve is death. :(

If you read this, I feel sorry for you.

[talaniman]

Your jealous and insecure, stop it!