[rgalibaba]

Hello, and thanks for reading..

So, I met this girl about 6 months ago. And everything just hit off. All those 6 months, we basically have been contact almost everyday. Most of the time it is her contacting me. I would been in less of contact but I saw her three times a week at the university in a class. Anyway, me and this girl flirt constantly, every time we meet there is some flirting. No actually "real" physical contact, meaning no sex, nothing like that. We did kind of mess around, but did not lead to sex even though we used to joke about it a lot. So everything on this level was great.

Now the problem, she had an Ex, that she would consistently go back and forth seeing and breakingup, etc. She even told me, that he was jealous of me flirting with her. Well after a while of being really close friends, I mean she shared things some of her best friends had no idea about. I thought I would like to take it forward, and I asked her out. Well I get that, "lets just be friends" bull, and I say OK. I mean, she says no right now, so what, ill just continue being friends, I had fun and she did as well being friends, so there was no need to push the subject. She also said she was talking to someone else as well as her ex still. She said she was sorry and didn't want things to be akward.

This is fine, even though I still had feelings for her, I didn't want to push it at all. So we continued doing what we used to, and hanging out like we used to. Then things started to drift a little, I wasn't sure why. Then things kind of picked up a little. She calls me to hang out and She then tells me, things would have a lot different if the timing was different, etc. and that she really likes hanging out with me and had me walk her to her night class. A week later I find out she was having a lot of problems at home , etc. I thought I could do something nice, and I left a note for her to find, just something small, like hope your feeling better, etc. At first she was happy, and thought it was nice. Now about a week later, out of no where she sends me, "I think your a nice person and all , but I dont think we should hang out or talk until your over me, if you want to be friends"... OKaaay. So I got a litte upset but left it and decided to meet her the next day to talk. I met her and she was acting like she used to with me, like nothing was wrong, and then I asked what was going on, and she says that she felt like I was still kind of trying, and I assured her I was talking with other people now, which I am, but she continued on, saying that people in relationships do that kind of thing with the note. She then says she it kind of felt akward or whatever to hang out or whatever.. I said OK, whatever and tried to reassure her again.

Anyway, she tells me she is also cutting off her ex from hanging out and talking and along with the other guy she just started talking to. Apparently her ex gave her a bigger fight than I did, hence her saying she wished it was as easy to tell him as it was to tell me. She made me promise not to leave, as I have been planning to leave the area soon. Buttom line, I told her it hurt, and I wanted to be friends still, but she insisted not hanging out or talking was the best thing now. I wasn't needy and told her OK, gave her a hug good bye and that was it. Its been about a week now, no contact from either of us. But her messages online, show she is not doing good, "feels like death" "feel like " "I dont have anyone by my side" etc.

I still have not contacted her and do not plan to, she broke it off, and it is her to re-establish contact correct? I have been going out and having fun, but this has been sticking in the back of my mind and driving me crazy, I care about her, that's the thing. I guess I am asking, is there anything I can do at this point? Anything to help her? Anything to get her back?

I don't really care about relationship now, fact is I miss her as a FRIEND, and told her this before we started no contact. She seemed to also want to be friends, hence she said, "no hanging or talking, blah blah, if you want to be friends" Also she said we were going to have no contact for about a month, but I think at the end of the month it will not be me to contact her, I think that's the right thing to do. And this month is valentines day, what better way to show I'm not pushing by doing nothing huh?

Any hope to be friends again? I guess Ill wait until she contacts me? I guess great if she does, but oh well if she doesn't? I am just so angry with myself for seeming to have pushed her I guess maybe? How can I make it up?

The funny thing is, she told me this on Sunday, but I was planning on breaking off contact for about a month from her on Friday, thought maybe we might be seeing too much right now. Haha strange how this worked out.

Yeah, I know very long, please, need help. Thanks for any input!

[talaniman]

Leave her alone, as she has her own issues that she is busy with. Keep living your own life, and make some new friends.

Sorry, but life gets in the way of a lot of things, and we just have to cope with the reality of it.

[rgalibaba]

Thanks for the advice, really. Yeah I will leave her for now. Will update if she gets back to me, will probably need help for what to do?

Speaking of that, what should I do if she starts to make contact again?

[rgalibaba]

Also

Its going to be strange, I will be in the same organization with her at the university, any ideas on what to do there?

Thanks again

[talaniman]

Always be polite, but busy, and unavailable for the little chit chats, that lead to confusion. Take care of business in an effective manner. She no longer can command the kind of attention she had before. That changes with a break up!