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MiSSsy111222 · Jan 11, 2009, 08:26 AM

[QUOTE=kctiger;1477940]There are four stages of grief, thus when you lose someone you experience these stages (Google them if you want). The best thing to do is let these stages happen, as there is no time frame for them.

Thank you, I know what you are saying is true, I have googled nearly about everything since this break up. It just that they are new emotions that I have never experienced before. Its driving me crazy, I think they may have took over me. I'm feeling frustrated with myself for being like this now.

I know time is a great healer. I just wish this time will hurry!

Thank you again :)

kctiger · Jan 11, 2009, 08:35 AM

I know you want the time to hurry, but take it from me, it is meant for a reason. After a month, or three, or whatever, I promise you will realize that you have truly become a better person and you have learned so much about yourself. Sometimes things that hurt soooo much to us happen so we can finally look in the mirror and find out who we truly are, and what makes us truly happy.

Heartbreak is one of those things. Good luck!

talaniman · Jan 11, 2009, 09:35 AM

the scary part is that I gave ALL of myself to him, I depended on him, I made him my world,after doing all this he broke it all down.

This was not his fault it was your choice and that's why it hurts, but through that pain you have learned, don't give everything to someone else, because there will be nothing left for you.

the annoying thing is, is that it is the first time I have given myself to anyone.

Now you have learned.

and I though he would be the last person to treat me so bad, and make me cry so much.

He doesn't deserve all the blame as you had a hand in this as well, but reality is that you both handled things the best you knew how, and it didn't work. Join the rest of the population that has learned the lesson you have.

The good news is, you will heal and move on, if you love yourself enough to be happy with yourself.

MiSSsy111222 · Jan 13, 2009, 05:52 AM

OK so now I'm even more frustrated... my friend will not stop with this guy, I'm getting annoyed with her, so is my family.. I feel like I'm wasting my time being supportive. Why try and help her if she just keeps going back. I have my own issues to deal with aswel as hers. I know everyone says I shouldn't give up on her as she needs me but its all being wasted

talaniman · Jan 13, 2009, 06:15 AM

Tell her that! Then leave her alone.

ferrell_2006 · Jan 14, 2009, 04:46 PM

You have to tell her how you feel juss explain to her that you love her and you're her friend but you have a life to and things you have to worry about and if she wants your help to take it or leave it but you can't be at her every beckon call... you can't be her yo-yo you juss talk to her... maybe shell understand

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 5, 2009, 08:56 AM

Threads merged

I'm finding it hard to move on, I'm creating more problems for myself but I can't stop. My head and heart are fighting each other.

I'm finding it hard just to let go and move on... I know what is best for me but its finding the strength to do it!

Is this normal? Did anyone else face this situation after a break up?. any wise advice please?

kctiger · Feb 5, 2009, 09:01 AM

There really isn't a magic pill of doing this. No one said it would be easy. You literally just have to "will" yourself to move on. If you think about it, your only option is to get over this. Dedicate every single part of your mind and heart to overcoming this obstacle. Do anything you can to make yourself better, and fill up all of the wasted time you have in a day with something productive.

Time, really is the only thing that makes this better. That, and you being proactive enough to build your own life. You have clean slate right now, so paint a picture of what you want, and go for it!

Romefalls19 · Feb 5, 2009, 09:12 AM

KC is right, time is the only thing you can give it. You will reach a point in the flip flop game that you will get so angry at him that it fuels your NC and then it is a roller coaster ride that you will have to stay on

ardahk · Feb 5, 2009, 09:43 AM

No magic potion, book, pill, way to get out of feeling how you feel after a hard break up.

Simply put no contact is the only way - the fights will continue but after time you will see how things change

Its been a week for me and although I feel and wish everything I am wishing I know that nothing can change right so what's the point in trying to?

Only thing worth doing is building myself up to the person I want to be and in some way the person I used to be - bad ends to relationships do some evident damage

We are all with you here

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 5, 2009, 09:50 AM

The whole cutting contact is pulling me back with my break up recovery. I've tried it several times. Its hard taking him out of my life.

I know I can move on, I'm just not sure if I want to. Which is a big problem

Thanks everyone for your support.

Romefalls19 · Feb 5, 2009, 09:52 AM

Trust me, you want too.. Does life ever go backwards? Nope, so why should you try to go back?

neverme · Feb 5, 2009, 09:54 AM

Time. Time is the only thing that will help.

So laugh when you feel like it and cry when you need to, and one day you'll realise your not crying so much anymore.

Stay strong. It will work out for the best in the end.

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 5, 2009, 10:00 AM

You are all right. Time will heal. I think today is one of those bad days.

I'm starting NC... again. To heal

Thanks for the support

neverme · Feb 5, 2009, 10:10 AM

Keep in touch here, it really helps to have people that know what your going through and won't judge.

k3441 · Feb 5, 2009, 10:30 AM

I know what you are going through as I'm going through it now myself. We have to be strong.
Sure it hurts a lot but in the end you will be OK, there are a lot of nice people on this site with good advice. I know myself I'm taking it.
Good luck to you!

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 5, 2009, 10:43 AM

I know what you are going through as I'm going through it now myself. We have to be strong.
Sure it hurts a lot but in the end you will be OK, there are a lot of nice people on this site with good advice. I know myself I'm taking it.
Good luck to you!

Thanks. We are not the only people in this situation. We can be strong but a moment of weakness can ruin our hard work. Its keeping strong which is the difficult part.

And good luck with your situation to!

_Someone_ · Feb 5, 2009, 12:09 PM

Hi
We had our break ups at the same time I think.when I registered in this forum and posted my first thread you were one of them who supported me with your answer.for me it has been 2 months NC. Ok I must admit it was a hard time especially the beginning. Something that I think helps.
1. Do not dig in your memories trying to find him.every time you remember the good times,his smile or the names he used to call you etc.. It is sure that you will feel love for him if you do so.you are not healed enough to remember them and not get hurt.me too.
2.keep yourself busy.try to resolve another problem that you have.sure you must have something else which bothers you.try to think about it.
3.Good luck.Dont worry we are going to make it.

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 5, 2009, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by _Someone_

Hi
we had our break ups at the same time i think.when i registered in this forum and posted my first thread you were one of them who supported me with your answer.for me it has been 2 months NC. Ok i must admit it was a hard time especially the beginning. Something that i think helps.
1. Do not dig in your memories trying to find him.every time you remember the good times,his smile or the names he used to call you etc.. it is sure that you will feel love for him if you do so.you are not healed enough to remember them and not get hurt.me too.
2.keep yourself busy.try to resolve another problem that you have.sure you must have something else which bothers you.try to think about it.
3.Good luck.Dont worry we are going to make it.

Hi yes I remember reading your post. I hope my advice helped. Its strange how we can advice other people well, but struggle with our own.

2months is a long time, I'm glad your doing well. Yes memories resurface all the time, its hard not to think about them.

Good luck 2. we will make it

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 11, 2009, 10:35 AM

OK so now I have a new problem to deal with. I met a man on the weekend, he seems nice, however he is a bit to full on. He keeps telling me he really likes me. He has the same religion as me, and he is talking about how he is looking for a wife. This freaks me out a little. When he talks about how much he likes me etc... it hurts. I can only think of my Ex. This new man makes me upset because it makes me think about my past realationship. He wants to meet up so we can get to no each other. Should I attempt it?

Since my break up I hate getting attention from other men, especially when they attempt to be more than friends. Is this normal?

This man makes me feel upset about the past. Does this mean I'm not ready to see another man, even as friends? Should I meet up with him?

Advice please, thanks