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bbros · Feb 2, 2009, 09:51 PM

so i dated my ex boyfriend for a yr..but broke up with him because i felt i was putting more into it den him..i loved him then n love him even more now...we are super close friends known each other for 3 yrs now..so he just started goin out with this gurl n says dat he loves her but they only have 3 months goin out...WHAT SHOULD I DO!! I spend day n nite thinkin bout him..and we still mess so i know he doesnt love his gurl like dat... itz hard for me to let him go...should i? or should i keep fighting for his love?:confused:

starbuck8 · Feb 3, 2009, 01:44 AM

Exactly what kind of relationship are you looking for here? One that you are going to have with a guy that is messing around with you but is with someone else? This isn't love honey, this is infactuation. Leave this situation alone or you will end up continually hurt. Spend your time focusing your time on yourself and your goals, and only then will you find someone that you can love, and will truly love you in return.

What are you doing to improve yourself? Do you have any hobbies, activities, goals that you can focus on? Guys like confident girls. Girls that don't reley on them to make them feel happy. Concentrate on that, and you won't have a problem.

In the meantime, leave this boy alone. He has a girlfriend, and he is playing you both.

roxypox · Feb 3, 2009, 02:10 PM

Well, sometimes we just have to lie down in the bed we've made... no matter how uncomfortable it is.

You were the one who broke up with him, and once you did that, well his personal life is restricted to you and he can date whom ever he wants to.

With that said, and I know it might sound harsh... but it's the reality of things.

If you can't handle the fact that he is dating someone new, and that he is moving on from the two of you as a couple... then you either have to swallow your emotions or break away from the friendship you have with this guy.

And as for you being in love with him... when did you realize this? And is it real or is it a burst of jealousy? (I.e. who shoot, now I can't have him back... )

BMI · Feb 3, 2009, 02:13 PM

You like him now more than ever because he has a new girl, plain and simple. I doubt you analyzing how he has improved during your separation or whether he will "give more" should you ever get back together. No, your jealous because he moved on and are focused on that and that only.

I missed the part about you messing around with him still. In addition to the above I'd say that your also playing right into him. If he cheats on her with you than I'm fairly certain he'll cheat on you with her. I think what we need here is some pride and do away with this dude.

Justwantfair · Feb 3, 2009, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by bbros

[..and we still mess so i know he doesnt love his gurl like dat... :confused:

I agree with the above post and must say stop messing around with him!

liz28 · Feb 3, 2009, 04:52 PM

Being friends and having sex with him is only hurting you in the long run and giving you false hope. You shouldn't be doing either instead you should be looking for someone that is single and want the same thing as you. If this continues your feeling will only get deeper and lead you to become depress.

He already told you he doesn't want to be with you and I think somehow you think you can change his mind but you can't. Why do you want to be with someone that cheats on their girlfriend and why are you being an enabler? He's using you and your allowing him too so now your on the highway of confusion because by engaging in any sexual activity with him is only confusing things for you.

As far as love, he doesn't have it for no one. He doesn't love you nor his current girlfriend because if he loved her he wouldn't be hurting her by cheating on her. And do you know what love is? Because at this moment I think your living the past instead of reality and living for the moment instead of thinking about your actions.

Remove yourself from this situation and let go unless you being second or a side piece. Let go and accept that what your had was over and live your life. Love yourself more!

If you stay I see nothing but drama to come out of this situation.

linnealand · Feb 4, 2009, 04:48 AM

How old are the two of you?

Does he know you want him back? If not, I think you can tell him once, and then give him a chance to think it over. If he says no, then move on. If he says yes, the problem is taken care of.

(by the way, please, no more text speak. I know you're new here so you might not know it, but text is actually against the rules. Plus, if you don't use text you're more likely to get more answers to your questions, which is a good thing. Thanks!)

roxypox · Feb 4, 2009, 11:51 AM

Liz: (had to spread rep) but well said!

I also missed the part about you still messing around. This is such a bad idea. As the others have said as well.

And in the long run it will prob only end up causing you more pain then anything else.

Linnealand: yeah, txt speak is a bit hard to read (especially for us who aren't used to it)

linnealand · Feb 4, 2009, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by roxypox

liz: (had to spread rep) but well said!

I also missed the part about you still messing around. This is such a bad idea. As the others have said as well.

And in the long run it will prob only end up causing you more pain then anything else.

Linnealand: yeah, txt speak is a bit hard to read (especially for us who aren't used to it)

I think some very good advice has been passed around the table. bbros, this is a situation that deserves some careful reflection on your part. No matter what you choose to do, always remember to keep yourself respect as a top priority. When things get messy, and they have already gotten messy, it's easy to find yourself doing things that are so deeply rooted in emotion that more rational perspectives can fall by the wayside.

There's a saying that I really believe to be true. It's that we teach people how to treat us. Make sure you're only letting yourself be treated in the respectful way you deserve.

I wasn't excited about mentioning the text thing, so I really was sorry to do it, but it's a big pain and a total pet peeve. Also, there are so many people on this site who won't even look at a question because of it. Leave the text behind and you really do get more people interested in helping out!

bbros, keep us updated on your situation! I wish you luck with it. If this is your first big relationship, and it sounds like it probably is, it can be hard to get over. Make smart decisions and trust that you're doing them for right reasons.

GoodLuckJen · Feb 4, 2009, 02:31 PM

Why would you want to be with a man that doesn't put 100% into you and obviously can't even do it with his current girlfriend if you two are still messing. Looks like this guy needs to grow up.

talaniman · Feb 6, 2009, 10:17 AM

You may as well let him go, because he is playing you both, and making you both look dumb, and foolish.

BMI · Feb 6, 2009, 10:35 AM

T-man is right as rain.

Also, I'm sure I read the same post under a different heading. You can change the format of the question but you'll get the same response.

neverme · Feb 6, 2009, 11:23 AM

Let him go, stop 'messing' with him.

Move on. Ex's are ex's for a reason. I'm sure you'd remember this real quick if you actually got a chance to try again.

Don't step back. Step UP to a new life with new opportunities and new happiness.

Fadingxlullaby · Feb 6, 2009, 11:27 AM

Sometimes it becomes unhealthy to keep "messing" with them. It seems like it is more of the "I want him because I can't have him" bit to me. You shouldn't keep holding on if he is dating another girl no matter what you are both still doing. It just makes you look foolish to hang around when he is obviously taking advantage of the situation.

talaniman · Feb 6, 2009, 11:28 AM

She is 16 and pregnant by this guy is the part of the story she left out.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...nt-182070.html

talaniman · Feb 6, 2009, 11:30 AM

Tell your parents now, as you have a mess on your hands with a guy who has another girl and is giving you both babies? Is she underage too?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3768172

roxypox · Feb 6, 2009, 11:48 AM

Yeah hun, it really is about time you tell your parents!

Fadingxlullaby · Feb 6, 2009, 12:07 PM

I completely agree!

liz28 · Feb 6, 2009, 12:42 PM

Listen, he done move on to someone else and told you that he is in love with her. It doesn't matter how long they been together he is with her and using you for sex. Having sex with him and giving him want he want won't make him leave her, or be with you, or love you. Your allowing and putting yourself through this unnecessary pain. Leave him alone or your just going drown in your own misery.

Did you ever have your child because if you did the baby would be a few months old and if you did have the baby you did to focus on your child and get your life in order.

Your young and you will have many other relationships before you find your pot of gold. So move on and accept what your had is over. You've no relationship with this guy only a sexual one but your forgetting he his a girlfriend that is most likely unaware of what the two of you are doing. So don't get confuse about that.

Synnen · Feb 6, 2009, 12:47 PM

She WAS 16 and pregnant. The original post is a year old.

So--have the baby? Abortion?

The baby would be 4 months old now.