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Audra_Sonata · Feb 4, 2009, 12:04 AM

If it's an on and off again thing and you're not really completely sure he wants this, your best option really is to wait. It may be that he wants it but isn't sure he's really ready. If that's the case, he really isn't.

Children are wonderful blessings, it's true, but they're also very hard on relationships. Counter to popular belief, having children doesn't strengthen a bond... it tests it to it's limit. The attention you shared together is suddenly reduced, the time to yourselves is cut in half, and the jealousy that comes almost inevitably as the interaction with the tiny little being replaces the interaction with one another can push a rocky relationship to it's end faster than anything.

To be on and off 3 or 4 times in two years says that you still need to work on just being "us" together before you start in on something bigger. If the "us" thing works... I mean REALLY works... for awhile... (give it at least a year)... then you can think about expanding on that. Whatever you decide, I wish you both a lot of luck.

CeCe09 · Feb 4, 2009, 12:47 AM

Me personally and by being in a situation like this, but it was longer, you have to think things clear. Make sure he's not just saying that to have a tie with you and make sure that things are going to work out between, you, him and your child. Make sure that everything is in order and that if any problems do occur you can have it all solve out. I'm just saying this because you ask this question publicly and I just want to give you my thoughts as well. I thinks it wonderful for the both of you to want to have a child together. That is the most blessing you can have bring into this earth and I am very proud that both of you agree on this one thing. But for some reason you are having thoughts, so is this really what you want, or you want the baby because he want the baby and it would make him more happy? If you feel like you have to think things through. Then do it. Don't be afraid or scared you will always know what is right for you.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 07:28 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-312783.html

You and this guy have more than a bump in the road and sorry to say he is using your desire for a child to get sex from you, and your letting him. Wake up before you're a young single mom with no man.

Justwantfair · Feb 4, 2009, 07:33 AM

I am confused, you just had sex for the first time, i.e. your last question and now you are ready for a baby?

GirlWSlingshot · Feb 4, 2009, 10:48 AM

I think you might be in over your head. And I would strongly discourage having a child with someone that is OK with breaking up and getting back together with you at his own convenience. If he'll do that to you now, he'll do that to you when you're the mother of his child too.

Having a baby never fixes or cements a relationship. It only adds more strain where there are already cracks. Take care of your heart and your body and make sure that you use protection.

ang8318 · Feb 4, 2009, 11:19 AM

I totally agree with everyone else. But, if you two are serious, and he does want to take it to the next level with you, why not get married and see how that works first? I know that you do not have to married to have children, and not being married works for some people. But, why not get married first? Or at least mention it to him. That way you know if he is in for a long term commitment to you, or a future child.