[confused14]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2months ago after a 3year relationship we fought non stop were annoying one another and we were just pushing each other away & he was very immature about things- after 2weeks of ending the relationship he kissed someone else which was expected. Was hard in the beginning but eventually I got over it and started having fun myself and having little flings now and then.

We hardly spoke in the few weeks of ending things, then recently we saw each other out at a party and had a brief chat since then we have been civil to one another. Then the other night I found myself thinking of him and whether it was worth taking him back - so I decided to ask him if he has slept with anyone since our break up (because I could not bare the thought of taking him back after sleeping with some one else) he honestly said yeah he had just once.

Then that night he came to visit me and chat about the situation - I came clean and told him I have only kissed 8 guys since our break up and he said I fall in the same catergory as him (sleeping with some one) first of all is that true? Because sex is an intimate thing... then after him being there about 30min he made a move on me and one thing led to another it was purely lust thing and after we had slept together I didn't feel any thing! We never chatted about what had just happened I made him food and soon after that we were having sex for the second time. When he left I felt as though we had both used each other for pleasure - nothing more or nothing less.

My friends say that I'm better off with out him because he keeps proving over and over again that his isn't worth getting back together - I mean he got with his best mates ex in front of him (really low)

Im very confused because I don't know if I want him back - I feel that I need to experience other relationships so I know exactly what I want but in saying that I'm scared he won't be around when I decide that I want him back - and I'm scared if I get back with him I'm going to regret it.. I will always love him but I have become such a stronger person and learnt a lot and I know for a fact there is an awesome guy out there for me- I'm scared things are going to be worse off if we get back togther and I can't handle a 2nd break up!! I never want to feel those feelings again! I think he wants me back but is it worth taking him back??

[goth0087]

A question I think you really ought to ask yourself is... why do you want him back?

Is he an absolutely amazing guy despite all of the disrespectful things he did? I've been in a long-term relationship myself, I know the 3 years are hard to put behind you as "lost time", but really, unless this guy is absolutely amazing, and is Great to you and all the people that are important to you, he's just not worth another day, let alone the risk of more of your hurt feelings.

Take some time and really think about it, if you do think he's worth the effort, then try to talk to him, and ask him how much you mean to him, and why he did the things he did to hurt you. You probably want to offer some apologies for the things you've done that you're not proud of too... if he's resistant or disrespectful at All, move on! If not, then just try to keep talking to him, and hopefully the two of you will forgive each other & respect each other a lot more in the future.

[Romefalls19]

The past is just that, it's a sunken old ship. There will be moments when everyone tries to revive a blown out flame. Have you ever tried to relight a wet wick? It doesn't work too well.

Just leave it alone and look into the future, the loves from the past aren't going to get closer.

[talaniman]

When he left I felt as though we had both used each other for pleasure - nothing more or nothing less.

You scratched your itch and its confusing you??

Leave him alone, as you can't move forward, when your going backward.

[neverme]

Confused,

Read back over your post you KNOW you don't want him back. Everyone has sex with the ex, it seems to always happen. Leave it there. I recently went back to see if there was anything left with an ex and ended up breaking my heart worse than I ever could have the first time round.

Don't step back, step UP to the challenge of new experiences.

[kctiger]

Once you eventually kick your ex off that unusually high pedestal you have her perched on, you will see that there are SOOOO many other guys out there deserving of your love and attention... believe me.

[Irishgirl]

I think you answered your own question,its even harder the second time around to make things work and both people need to want to whole heartedly, you obviously don't. Think about it you can do what you want when you want you don't have to answer to anyone, think what's he doing or where is he now? I think this is like smoking, a bad habit you need to get rid of for your own good,Oh and from personal experience listen to your friends they only want what's best for you and want nothing in return-unlike this "boy" good luck x