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    trmpldonagn's Avatar
    trmpldonagn Posts: 252, Reputation: 15
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    #1

    Feb 1, 2009, 02:36 PM
    Constructive criticism on a poem.
    I am simply curious. A recent thread reminded me of a Haiku that I wrote in the 6th grade. I have written many many poems but I believe this to be my only Haiku. Open to any criticism just out of curiosity.


    Running in the sun
    Children laughing, birds singing
    Brings back memories

    I was in the 6th grade now so go easy on me.
    Thanks! :)
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2009, 05:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by trmpldonagn View Post
    I am simply curious. A recent thread reminded me of a Haiku that I wrote in the 6th grade. I have written many many poems but I believe this to be my only Haiku. Open to any criticism just out of curiosity.


    Running in the sun
    Children laughing, birds singing
    Brings back memories

    I was in the 6th grade now so go easy on me.
    Thanks! :)


    I think this is very good for a sixth grade level - I'm sure you got a good grade for it. Was it published in a school or district anthology?
    ScoobyDoo5's Avatar
    ScoobyDoo5 Posts: 3, Reputation: -1
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2009, 06:33 PM
    That's a pretty poem. You seem to be fond of children and birds. Nice work.
    trmpldonagn's Avatar
    trmpldonagn Posts: 252, Reputation: 15
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    #4

    Feb 1, 2009, 08:59 PM

    Thanks guys. Was just curious. No JK, it wasn't published in a school or district anthology. I just remember the teacher going on an on about it. He was pretty impressed but I remember not thinking it was very hard. 5, 7, 5 (syllables for each line for a Haiku) as you probably already know. Thanks again.
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