[Nostradamus_pk]

I don't date, but I do have a preference. I like young gals, say 5-10 year difference.
I am not saying I don't like women close to my age or older for that matter. But its perhaps like a fantasy.

I hope I am not sick... I am 28 and would like a girl under 20
Is that a huge age differences... and tell you what the girl I liked who is 4 yr younger is dating someone almost 20 years older!

Also I am a virgin and would like to loose my virginity with a virgin so that we can share the same experience... its just fantasy , that I can't let go. In fact I have passed good looking gals due to these obsessions!


Help

[NeedKarma]

Good luck to you!

[ScottGem]

If you were 35 and wanted a girl in the 25-30 yr range, I wouldn't bat an eye. But stating you want a girl under 20 is very borderline.

Frankly, I think you are either shallow or obsessed or both. Relationships are built on who the person is, not how old they are. And In my opinion, there is no advantage to losing your virginity with another virgin. In fact I think it's a disadvantage.

[Synnen]

WHY don't you date?

That to me is a more serious statement about your issues than the fact that you like younger women.

Is it the fact that older women have more experience and backbone, and that intimidates you? Or that you like the idea of moulding a girl to your standards?

The fact that you do NOT date, think about younger women, and have fantasies of losing your virginity to another virgin makes me think that you should PROBABLY see a counselor.

Expressing your preference for specific women when you aren't even dating is a bit creepy, to me.

[asking]

Holding out for losing your virginity with another virgin is like two people who have never camped deliberately going camping with each so that they can share the experience of having the tent fall down, the bear getting their food, getting lost, and going hungry because they wanted to share the experience of not knowing how to do things right.

Live it up! Find someone you like, whether she's a virgin or not. I'd advise focusing on women a little older, at least 21. But really, there's no reason to limit it to younger women. If you end up liking someone and staying with her, she will not stay young. She will grow older. If ten years down the road, you've still got your obsession with 18 year olds, and she's 30, what are you going to do? Dump her and start over? I think you need to get over your obsession.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that part of your obsession with younger women is related to performance insecurity. I'm thinking maybe you hope that if they are young and virginal, you won't have to be embarrassed about being a virgin yourself. But if a woman is the right person for you, she will be kind and patient and not make you feel bad. But you have to be open to being taught, not assume you have to be the man in charge.

[NeedKarma]

There may be cultural differences here that aren't familiar with. Jus' sayin'

[Nostradamus_pk]

If ten years down the road, you've still got your obsession with 18 year olds, and she's 30, what are you going to do? Dump her and start over? I think you need to get over your obsession.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that part of your obsession with younger women is related to performance insecurity. .

I do have a little obsession but its not like I will always be look for a virgin every time I want to have sex. I just want that experience and saving myself for that too. I am a little picky I guess.
Performance security... never thought about that.
Thanks though

[slapshot_oi]

It's not a problem so long as it's legal.

Not dating will make it pretty hard to find any girl, 20 or older, you got to get out there pal.

I have the opposite preference, I like my women considerably older. As far as I can remember I always have, I used to have crushes on my pre-school teachers, especially third grade (Mrs. McDonna... mmmm). It's probably 'cause older women look, well, like women and not like girls... that little girl look bothers me. Anyway, it stuck with me even now at 23.

[asking]

I think Synnen is right.
Why aren't you dating?

Ask someone out without the expectation of sex.

It sounds like you have become used to thinking of women primarily in terms of what it will be like in bed with them.

[smoothy]

18-25 year old women (guys too) are very immature compared to people in thir 30's. There is a lot of emotional maturation that occurs berfore your late 20's. It sounds like you are fixated on what they look like instead of what you should be focusing on which is who they are. Cute doesn't make relationships with there is a casm of emotional maturity differences between you both.

Yeah its legal if they are 18, but that doesn't make it a good or even a smart idea.

I'm NOT making swipes at any of the younger people... these are factual things you will see for yourself when you approach 30.

THere is less emotional difference between 30 and 60 years of age than there is between 20 and 30.

[Nostradamus_pk]

WHY don't you date?

That to me is a more serious statement about your issues than the fact that you like younger women.

Is it the fact that older women have more experience and backbone, and that intimidates you? Or that you like the idea of moulding a girl to your standards?

The fact that you do NOT date, think about younger women, and have fantasies of losing your virginity to another virgin makes me think that you should PROBABLY see a counselor.

Expressing your preference for specific women when you aren't even dating is a bit creepy, to me.

Well I don't date that is true, because of the culture I am from... long story short I have never been on a date... never been kissed.

I am not intimidated by older women or molding is out of the window.. I want real girl.

In fact number of times I liked a girl tried to make a move turns out she is married and have children... seems like all the good ones are taken.

I'll repeat I don't have any thing against older women or close to mine older/younger.

With younger gals I like the attitude perhaps... since I missed the High School experience of dating, prom and other teenage stuff. I have grown up in boys school all my life and during college I had two job used to work 50hr over the weekend, and full time school living alone. It just never happened.

I don't think counselor can help here... I am not creepy or at least I was hoping I am not.

Its just that the idea of fresh start mentally and physically +
There is another thing now that is hard to get over with the idea of a girl and just thinking how many s she must have sucked makes me sick. Hopefully I'll get over it when I fall in love but I am you know time is ticking by and it just stinks.

I don't watch porn or addicted to watching young gals. All I was saying was 18 to 21, do I have a shot or what
Man I am so confused!!


Thank you for your response though.
Just be honest

[Nostradamus_pk]

If you were 35 and wanted a girl in the 25-30 yr range, I wouldn't bat an eye. But stating you want a girl under 20 is very borderline.

Frankly, I think you are either shallow or obsessed or both. Relationships are built on who the person is, not how old they are. And IMHO, there is no advantage to losing your virginity with another virgin. In fact I think its a disadvantage.

See I am not shallow or obsessed ( well perhaps a little obsessed with a good start or the start I want) is that too much to ask for. I mean okay I said under 20 (that sound a little off) but 21 or 22 will also work.
Lol

How is it the disadvantage??

I am not looking to a advantage or disadvantage... its the experience or perhaps a want. Like I don't want certified pre-owned which is perfect, I want Brand new

[Nostradamus_pk]

There may be cultural differences here that aren't familiar with. Jus' sayin'

Thanks for taking a deeper look

[smoothy]

Since there is a cultural difference here I will explain the point I was making a little differently.

Yes the younger ones might be less likely to be married. What I am trying to explain is that what her mindset is today and what she likes today will change before her late 20's. Plus your mindset is more where it will be most of your adult life hers is not yet there. The risk is in a few years as she changes she will find out you have not changed with her and your interests are no longer the same, this means unhappy marriage and conflict.

I am assuming you are not from a culture that typically does arrainged marriages but one where people actually pick their own spouses.

[Choux]

I think you are attracted to teenagers because you and a younger woman are on the same emotional and experiential level. It makes sense to me that, in effect, you are equals of sorts in that respect.

Speaking from American culture, I would consider you immature and frightened of mature hetero sexuality at your age 28.

I really can't speak for Islamic culture, or other non-Western cultures.

Best wishes to you, :)

[Nostradamus_pk]

18-25 year old women (guys too) are very immature compared to people in thir 30's. There is a lot of emotional maturation that occurs berfore your late 20's. It sounds like you are fixated on what they look like instead of what you should be focusing on which is who they are. Cute doesn't make relationships with there is a casm of emotional maturity differences between you both.

Yeah its legal if they are 18, but that doesn't make it a good or even a smart idea.

I'm NOT making swipes at any of the younger people....these are factual things you will see for yourself when you approach 30.

THere is less emotional difference between 30 and 60 years of age than there is between 20 and 30.

But don't you think I'm missing that part. Enjoying the im-maturity. I mean I think every thing has a charm. And that age has a charm too. Yeah perhaps at that age they are imature and things are not going to be rock solid... but there is no saying it won't happen say with some one who is in late 20s or in 30's for that matter; I am going to 28 so not too far.

I agree with the emotional differences, b ut that is what I want to experience to go with physical thingy.

Thanks for the response.

[smoothy]

But don't you think I'm missing that part. Enjoying the im-maturity. I mean I think every thing has a charm. And that age has a charm too. Yeah perhaps at that age they are imature and things are not going to be rock solid....but there is no saying it wont happen say with some one who is in late 20s or in 30's for that matter; I am going to 28 so not too far.

I agree with the emotional differences, b ut that is what I want to experience to go with physical thingy.

Thanx for the response.

Its not the same because you aren't part of that age group any longer... You are only watching it from outside. Its different if you were also in that age group because you would be maturing as well as her... thats far different as she will be maturing into a different person while you don't change as well because you have already moved on to the next stage in life... like it or not there is no turning back the clock. I see a very big chance for heartache because of that. You can't possibly experience that youth again... once its gone its gone and you are beyond that. Reliving the past is only possible in science fiction movies.

I'm not saying people don't try... there is a period in most mens life about the late 30'd to early 40's were they try to do things they wanted to do and never did for any number of reasons... sometimes its stuff people decades younger might do if they could afford it. Its commonly called a "midlife crisis". Some guys get in serious trouble... divorces happen, injuries occur etc. Not every guy does this but many do, and some things are dumb or dangerous... only a few are harmless.

[ScottGem]

See I am not shallow or obsessed ( well perhaps a little obsessed with a good start or the start I want) is that too much to ask for. I mean okay I said under 20 (that sound a little off) but 21 or 22 will also work.
lol

How is it the disadvantage ???

I am not looking to a advantage or disadvantage .....its the experience or perhaps a want. like I don't want certified pre-owned which is perfect, I want Brand new

Yes you are shallow, because you want a fantasy based on something I'm not sure of, rather than something real. The most important thing in a relationship is how each partner feels about the other. You may never get that, because you are rejecting people based on your fantasy. That's shallow.

Until you start dating and experience a relationship (not necessarily sexual) with a variety of woman, then what you are after is a fantasy you have built up in YOUR mind. And yes that is where counseling WILL help you.

As for the virgin thing, Asking gave a good answer. With the blind leading the blind you have a recipe for disaster. This is not a "good start" but a bad one. You may find it takes a long time to get it good, if ever.

But the main point bears repeating (and repeating). What you have done is build up a fantasy based on whatever. Maybe a westernized or cultural depiction of what its supposed to be, but not what it is in reality. And when a fantasy is dashed by reality, it will hurt even more.

[Nostradamus_pk]

Since there is a cultural difference here I will explain the point I was making a little differently.

Yes the younger ones might be less likely to be married. What I am trying to explain is that what her mindset is today and what she likes today will change before her late 20's. Plus your mindset is more where it will be most of your adult life hers is not yet there. The risk is in a few years as she changes she will find out you have not changed with her and your interests are no longer the same, this means unhappy marriage and conflict.

I am assuming you are not from a culture that typically does arrainged marriages but one where people actually pick their own spouses.

Ouch!

Arranged marriage... I am in USA for now 7 years.

Say I go back and end up marrying a girl who is close to my age not that I will have too much to say in the matter lol but lets just assume I do. I know I will get marry once and I will stick in all they to the end. I am a survivor.

I will miss this... but if I do give it a shot it might work it might not work!

What you said about Change is correct I believe that.

[smoothy]

Ouch !!

Arranged marriage....I am in USA for now 7 years.

say I go back and end up marrying a girl who is close to my age not that I will have too much to say in the matter lol but lets just assume I do. I know I will get marry once and I will stick in all they to the end. I am a survivor.

I will miss this....but if I do give it a shot it might work it might not work!!

What you said about Change is correct I believe that.

Ok that tells me a lot that you are from an arrainged marriage culture. THat can explain your dating problems as you never learned to rules and techniques involved in dating.

Being with a woman that is closer to your age will likely cause less stress. Oh you will still have stress and issues as all couples will have... but you won't be dealing with the irrational behaviour that goes with immaturity as well.