Check out some similar questions!

Thais198 · Jan 21, 2009, 05:20 PM

Helo everyone my name is Chastity I am 23 years old and I am not 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. This has been a very heartbreaken pregnancy because if it isn't one thing it's another. At 11 weeks they found 6mm of thickness behind the baby neck, and a CVS was performed and down syndrome and other birth defects ruled out. A week ago during my second trimester ultrasound at 18 weeks they told me that my baby arms and legs did not move through the entire ultrasound and that skin started to grown around my baby feet. Everything else was fine, but just a little fluid in the lungs. After I was told the problem they saw in my ultrasound the first thing they told me was to terminate my pregnancy like it was no big idea. I am against abortion and I'm really against it now that my baby is a actual living human being. They told me that there were no further test they can do and they wanted me and my boyfriend to make a decision at that moment.

I was very angry and frustrated at the fact that they just told me to terminate so fast. The doctor only told me bad things that could happen to my baby if I was to conmtinue the pregnancy. There is so much going on right now with this pregnancy that its breaking me down, I do not know what to do and how to really handle this situation. I have until 24 weeks to decide what I want to do. The doctors didn't even set a next month appointment for my OB OR ULTRASOUND. Has anyone came across someone with similar problems with there pregnancy as I am having? Please help me out because I don't know what to do and it's a GIRL :( WHAT ME, MY BOYFRIEND, AND FAMILIES BEEN WANTING. :mad:

Alty · Jan 21, 2009, 05:28 PM

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. This is not my area of expertise and it seems that all our pregnancy experts aren't around right now, please check back often to see if they've responded.

I do have a few questions that may give our experts a bit more to work with.

Did the ultrasound detect a heartbeat?
Did they say why they recommended terminating?
Have you considered getting a second opinion?

I know it's sometimes hard to get answers when you've just been told something devastating, but you really should talk to your doctor to find out exactly why he thinks this pregnancy should be terminated. I would also book an appointment with another doctor, get a second opinion.

Please do check back, I hope on of our experts will come along and give some advice, I wish that I could offer more.

Take care.

Thais198 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:03 PM

Yes her heart is fine it was 156 pr min

They were saying because her srms and legs are not moving it could be lackof muscle developing but they are not sure what's causing it

Yes tons of people have been asking me to go get a second opinion and I want to but my concern is will my insruance do that. I'm willing to pay to save my child's life.

Thanks for your response

Alty · Jan 21, 2009, 06:06 PM

I don't know about the insurance, I'm in Canada, the health care is different here.

Is there someone you can call to ask about this?

I wish I could offer more, please, check back tomorrow, we have a wonderful nurse on this site and a Doula, both of them will be able to give you better advice. I'm sending a link to your thread to both of them.

Thais198 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:12 PM

Oh yah its way different.

My mom wants me to talk to a children doctor or a different doctor from somewhere else.

Thais198 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:14 PM

And your helpful believe me. Just because you mentioned a second opinion I'm going to really do it now because so many people have been telling me to do so. So your helpful.

DoulaLC · Jan 22, 2009, 04:15 AM

Let your doctor know you want a second opinion and scan. They can order it done. You can call your insurance company directly if you like as well to verify.
Depending on the reason or suspected reason, sometimes termination is an option to consider, as difficult as it is. You'll want a full explanation of what the concern is, and how it may effect your child if you go to term. Mobility, quality of life, long term care, etc..
If there will be definite disabilities, you'll want to know what resources may be available to you to deal with them if you decide to continue.
Knowing these things may help you in your decision.

Thais198 · Jan 22, 2009, 06:53 PM

Hey guys just to let you all know. I contacted my dcotr and there doing there bes to get me into a another hospital for a second opinion. Also I've been feeling some movemtn in my belly like butterflys. Its been on and off all week. I'm just leaving it up to GOD now to dohis work. Thank You. I let you guys know the updates

Alty · Jan 22, 2009, 07:25 PM

Please keep us posted. I know this may be politically incorrect, but, you're in my prayers. I hope everything works out for you and your baby.

DoulaLC · Jan 23, 2009, 03:37 AM

Hope you get some more answers after the second opinion... sending prayers as well... :)

kpangor · Jan 23, 2009, 03:46 AM

I can't believe why yr doctor is even telling you to abort the baby.. this is insane... THANK GOD U SWITCHED DOCTORS... seriously they not even suppose to tell you tha way knowing you sufering and plus you feeling movement and all.. good luck to you and sticky, healthy baby girl to youu!!

DoulaLC · Jan 23, 2009, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by kpangor

i can't beleive why yr doctor is even tellin u to abort the baby.. this is insane ...THANK GOD U SWITCHED DOCTORS...seriously they not even suppose to tell u tha way knowing u sufering and plus u feeling movement and all..good luck to you and sticky, healthy baby girl to youu!!!!

Sadly, there are situations that arise where abortion will be an option to consider. In some instances, it will be known that the baby will not develop as they should in order to either sustain life after birth, may experience great discomfort, or will require extra ordinary care. Abortion is given as an option for families who may feel it is in their, and the baby's, best interest. Some families will decide to go the route, others prefer to let nature take its course.

Thais198 · Jan 23, 2009, 11:06 PM

Yah because me and my boyfriend don't want our child to suffer with pain. We want her to be able to walk and live a normal life. And that's why its so hard to decided right now. I have a second opinion ultrasound Monday at one hospital that's an 1/2 hour away from us, and another appoint at another hospital back home in Detroit Feb 12.

But some babies don't develop right to manage the outside world, like my first doctor said and could die at birth. But I'm leaving everything to the man above. Good response Doula

GlassFlower · Jan 24, 2009, 12:05 AM

Hi,
I cannot answer your question, but I can give you some hope.

I was told my daughter had been exposed to the cytomegala virus (nasty, terrible thing that causes extream birth defects) and was urged to terminate as well.

I refused, because I don't have the right to take anyone's life. I thought that if God had placed this little one in my life, it had to be for a reason, and I was going to spend every last moment I had with her, loving her and learning from her.

Well she was born 2 months early, but she was totally and completely healthy! She was home from the NICU in just 11 days!

She is now 4 years old and if you could see her now, you would never have known she was a preemie! She is brilliant, gorgeous and full of life!

So hold on to hope!

GlassFlower · Jan 24, 2009, 12:07 AM

Oh, one more thing, ask your Dr. to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist. Your insurance should cover it because at this point you have probibly been labeled a "high risk pregnancy". Please let us know how you're doing!

kpangor · Jan 24, 2009, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by GlassFlower

Hi,
I cannot answer your question, but I can give you some hope.

I was told my daughter had been exposed to the cytomegala virus (nasty, terrible thing that causes extream birth defects) and was urged to terminate as well.

I refused, because I don't have the right to take anyone's life. I thought that if God had placed this little one in my life, it had to be for a reason, and I was going to spend every last moment I had with her, loving her and learning from her.

Well she was born 2 months early, but she was totally and compleatly healthy! She was home from the NICU in just 11 days!

She is now 4 years old and if you could see her now, you would never have known she was a preemie! She is brilliant, gorgeous and full of life!

So hold on to hope!

That's exactly what I was thinking doctors are not always right... good ANSWER THERE!!

DoulaLC · Jan 25, 2009, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by GlassFlower

Hi,
I cannot answer your question, but I can give you some hope.

I was told my daughter had been exposed to the cytomegala virus (nasty, terrible thing that causes extream birth defects) and was urged to terminate as well.

I refused, because I don't have the right to take anyone's life. I thought that if God had placed this little one in my life, it had to be for a reason, and I was going to spend every last moment I had with her, loving her and learning from her.

Well she was born 2 months early, but she was totally and compleatly healthy! She was home from the NICU in just 11 days!

She is now 4 years old and if you could see her now, you would never have known she was a preemie! She is brilliant, gorgeous and full of life!

So hold on to hope!

So glad to hear it turned out well. It obviously depends on the circumstances that each family is presented with. Cytomegalovirus is pretty common and, while there can be severe disabilities from it, most babies exposed will be fine. You played the odds well by not terminating.
In some situations, problems will be more likely or even obvious. Yes, doctors do make mistakes, this can go both ways... some babies will be born with severe disabilities that aren't seen on a scan and the family was expecting a healthy baby all along... and sometimes a family is told there is a chance of problems, only to find their child was not part of that percentage.
This is why getting other opinions is crucial before making any decision if there is any question as to whether someone might choose to terminate.

Thais198 · Jan 25, 2009, 12:05 PM

I see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist on Thursday Jan 29. I'm just hoping and praying eveything goes OK. Thanks everyone for your answers. I will surely be back with updates Tuesday.

Alty · Jan 25, 2009, 12:15 PM

I wish you luck, take care, let us know how you and baby are doing.

Lots of luck and prayers to you. :)

DoulaLC · Jan 25, 2009, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by Thais198

I see a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist on Thursday Jan 29. I'm just hoping and praying eveything goes ok. Thanks everyone for your answers. I will surely be back with updates Tuesday.

Hope you get some reassurance that all looks well. Sending good thoughts and prayers!