[Jook]

I've been thinking up every reason I can for my best friend's rapid change in behaviour, but nothing I can think convinces me and I found this website and thought some kind people could share their views :)

I met this girl, Jenny about 18 months ago now and we hit it off straight away as friends. I wasn't attracted to her and was happy to have a platonic friend I could talk to so easily. We share the same sense of humour, the same outlook on life and the same goals in life so we started talking more and more as the weeks went by. My first really serious girlfriend at the time was killed in a car crash and Jenny really helped me through it as someone to talk to and make me smile when I was upset. She then split up with her boyfriend because he was so jealous of our friendship and started demanding that she not spend time with me.

After that we spent a year talking to each other for hours and hours on end in the evenings, over MSN or Skype or texting each other. As soon as she was home she'd be chatting to me. Over the year my feelings for her changed as we just seemed so good together. I told her how I feel and asked if she felt the same. We'd always joked about me and her but this was the first serious time we'd spoken about it. She said she just didn't fancy me and saw me as her best friend. I accepted her thoughts and was happy my feelings had spoilt our friendship.

However, a few months later on I moved to a new area and spent a lot of time socialising and making friends with new people in the area. I spent a lot of time with another woman that I met and wasn't chatting to Jenny in the evenings so much. Naturally I told Jenny that I found this new woman attractive but wasn't sure how seriously I felt. In the end that didn't work out anyway.

I also began working in the evenings and spent very little time with Jenny for about a month. She then stopped talking to me when she got home in the evenings and would only reply if I spoke to her, and you see more warmness in your fridge. Lately she ignores me when I message her, ignores my texts and never initiates any conversation like she used to.

She's also found a new boyfriend who's a very depressed lad (like her previous boyfriend) and will end up treating her the same if she develops a friendship. She acts completely different when he's around, like she's just not herself, and not just when I'm there, other mutual friends have mentioned it. I said this to her and tried to tell her as her best friend that I thought he'd just upset her like her previous boyfriend, and I think this upset her although she says it didn't.

So I'm wondering why her behaviour has changed? Was she really jealous of me finding another girl attractive and is trying to make me feel the same as she did? Or is she just lost in the world of love of this new boyfriend and has no time for me anymore? Or does she think our friendship wrecked her last relationship and she doesn't want this one to go the same way?

I'm really upset about losing my best friend and would appreciate anyone's insight, and I apologise for the life story there :p

[jmw0713]

She is probably wrapped up with this new boy. When you call she gets scared because she doesn't want what happened with her last BF to repeat.

Maybe layoff talking to her for a while. Ring her like once every few weeks or so, but no more if you want to keep this friendship going well. She may come around after a while and be more receptive to your conversation.

[talaniman]

Or is she just lost in the world of love of this new boyfriend and has no time for me anymore?

`

She is busy, and you need to back off, and stay out of her business, unless she invites you.

Sorry but you should understand where she is coming from, and respect her need for freedom.

[misskittyz]

I so no how you feel. My best friends is a man I'm a married woman. We were so close everyday. Then I had things in life happen. When I saw my best friends after a week, it was like I cheated on him. Keep in mind my best friends not lover, boyfriend. Very weird. Time past, I see now . Sometimes that best friends, without knowing it falls and the crack, called love. And the reason you noticed it, is love. Say no way whatever you believe. I'm not saying in love, I'm saying indefference. Many types of love, what's happening is what I experenced. Believe it or not, somewhere your best friends or you, is dealing with indefference. Point... crazy as it is that is the worst thing ever. Nobody is in the wrong. Yet nobody likes change. I say this because the same thing happen to me. So silly huh? Don't no why are how. But because we were bffs. Never new what happen, back burnner. Advice.. this friend of yours, being buds this part will be weird. In your on way without saying make first move. Meaning call be normal never act like you notice. Go back to when you bffs. Yet don't act as if anything different. Trust me. Don't lose your best friends, there work, nuts, drive you crazy. But don't make my mystake, best friends knowes each other. So its like whatever. Now 5years later. Best friends lives mile from me. But wish I could say what happen, nothing happen as you said started acting funny, diff, ignoring me. So I did same. No reason just did. We miss our friendship so much best part.. playn mad, not reply texts,etc. lost my best friends. For no reason.