[Liasdaughter]

Aprilwine and the other people who have already posted answers on this have said so many good things there's really not much I would add.

With regard to your friend, I would only say that it comes down to respect. You can be accepting that the experiences your friend has are meaningful to her and important to her. Believe me, growing up psychic can be frustrating. You're always afraid that if you tell someone, they will either think you are crazy or possessed by the devil. So it's good that she trusts you enough to share this with you. But what you do with it is up to you. It's like if she gave you scented bath soap as a birthday present. If you like the smell, you might decide to use it every day. If you don't like the smell, you still take the present and thank her. Although maybe later you might want to find a positive, friendly way to tell her the fragrance wasn't to your taste, so she doesn't get you the same thing the next year! With regard to this, it works the same way. It's important that she understands that she is safe in sharing her paranormal experiences with you, that she can trust you to not laugh at her, or spread gossip about what a weirdo she is. ;) She also needs to know you won't tell her that what she experiences isn't real.

The respect thing works both ways, of course. Your friend needs to know that you have the right to listen to what she has to say, but also to make as much or as little of it for your own life as seems appropriate, and she needs to accept that. Once she gets a little older, she will hopefully also learn that part of being a mature, responsible psychic means not trying to help people until they ask for help. But for now, she may need to share, and I'm sure wants to help you through the grief of losing your mother. She's doing a lot better than I did at that age when one of my best friends' dad died. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing to him I just avoided him. I feel very bad about that now.

I noticed that April said to you that your mom will always be with you, and you asked her what she meant. She gave you a very eloquent answer to that, and I could add to that by going on and on about the bond of love and the interconnectedness of all being. But in the long run, the way in which your mom will stay with you isn't going to be something you understand because of what we say, but because of your feeling her there in your heart. It's ok if you can't put that feeling into words. And, of course, living in the skeptical society we have, it's hard not to keep asking yourself, "Is it real? Am I just imagining it?" We're taught to ask those self-doubting questions as we grow up in this culture. Remind yourself that it's ok to trust your feelings. And it may take a long time to sort out those feelings. Grieving takes as long as it takes. There is no need to rush.

I loved what you said about "recycling" spirits! That's a synchronicity! I was just thinking about that myself. A lot of people post on this site saying, "I have a spirit or ghost in my home, how can I make it go away?" It reminds me of the attitude we had toward paper and plastic and aluminum twenty years ago. When we were done with it, we just threw it "away." But now we realize it's better to recycle. So I was kind of jokingly thinking to myself that I wanted to get people thinking about recycling spirits instead of driving them away, learning ways to live in harmony with them so they can find peace, and even give us their blessings and guidance as they are able. Maybe in another twenty years that idea will sink in, and people won't always be talking about banishing them. ;) Anyway, that was what was going through my head when I opened up your post, and found you had used the term "recycle" in a similar context. Funny.

Blessings to you, and your friend.

Alder

Thank you very much Alder !

I have not received any notice about this site is still going, but I came on today trying to give some information (what I found) to a young lady on the alternative medicine site. Her mother is very ill and I feel very much for her. So, being there, I looked up this site and found your answer.

While I am still very unsettled and sad, I feel blessed to be contacted such wonderful, feeling, helpful, and wise persons as you, April, and Artlady are. You make the world a better place for those who need spiritual help.

May the Lord bless you all for your compassion and help!

Yes, it is a bit strange, that you a physic, and a seer, had the same (similar) thoughts that I, a non-physic, non-seer had.

Well, I never said I don't believe it, as my mind is open.

Many people do not believe in God, saying He can't exist if they can't see Him. To that I can only say, you can't see your thoughts, you can't feel your dreams, you can't even notice electricity in a live wire until you touch it. Does it mean, that all these things do not exist just because you can't see, touch, feel it? God could be the same, and so the spirits. Some are allowed to see them, others aren't. You belong to the first group, I to the second. But, unlike some others, I do believe in thoughts, dreams, and feelings. And I hope and hope over hope, that some way, my mom could be with me. She always have been through my whole life.

About my friend. I do accept her for the person she is. I am not convinced that she sees really what she says. I don't say she is liying. NO! She just might want to see it so much, that she convinced herself. Please, do not misunderstand me. I have no doubt about your experiences. But, being so far off from what I know, and feel, she cannot be right. No, I am not telling her that. Why would I take her what makes her happy. She does not hurt me with that. She is a good person, cheers me up, helps me, I repay her with listening to her and keeping my doubts from her. Who knows, maybe she feels other persons correctly.

Please, don't worry about that, I could never repay her kindness to me with taking her joy from her! But, one thing I have to say, she is not young, she is an elderly grandmother. Otherwise everything is correct.

Thank you very much, again, for your kindness. May the Good Lord bless you, and your loved ones, too, and provide you with strength and insight to help others!

Kindest regards: Liasdaughter.

[Liasdaughter]

I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing to him I just avoided him. I feel very bad about that now.

I noticed that April said to you that your mom will always be with you, and you asked her what she meant. She gave you a very eloquent answer to that, and I could add to that by going on and on about the bond of love and the interconnectedness of all being. But in the long run, the way in which your mom will stay with you isn't going to be something you understand because of what we say, but because of your feeling her there in your heart. It's OK if you can't put that feeling into words. And, of course, living in the skeptical society we have, it's hard not to keep asking yourself, "Is it real? Am I just imagining it?" We're taught to ask those self-doubting questions as we grow up in this culture. Remind yourself that it's OK to trust your feelings. And it may take a long time to sort out those feelings. Grieving takes as long as it takes. There is no need to rush.

Blessings to you, and your friend.

Alder[/QUOTE]

Dear Alder,

Please, forgive me for bothering you, but may I ask you a question, please. I just cannot NOT ask it!

Could you, please, explain it a little bit for me, please?

"..in the long run, the way in which your mom will stay with you isn't going to be something you understand because of what we say, but because of your feeling her there in your heart."

It does not matter if I do not understand it now, I will remember your words - as I do April's - and when the time comes, it will make me easier to understand. So, could you, please, explain to me what will happen, what should I be aware of. Something, anything, - but just the truth, please.

I know, truth is not a black and white thing, but has some shades, depending from which directions you are looking at it. But, if an honest person is convinced, that it is truly, honestly is what he/she is feeling, that is acceptable for me. Besides, I am a very simple minded person, never set out to misled anyone, try always to be honest to myself and others. And, that somehow has given me a feeling for truth. That is why I can not believe my friend. I feel she is not lying, she just looking it from the wrong angle.

But, you are wise, and honest; you are able to look at it from the right angle! Please, tell me something, I need to know it.

May the Lord bless you for your kindness to us!

Yours greatefully: Liasdaughter.

[Liasdaughter]

I noticed that April said to you that your mom will always be with you, and you asked her what she meant. She gave you a very eloquent answer to that, and I could add to that by going on and on about the bond of love and the interconnectedness of all being. But in the long run, the way in which your mom will stay with you isn't going to be something you understand because of what we say, but because of your feeling her there in your heart. It's OK if you can't put that feeling into words. And, of course, living in the skeptical society we have, it's hard not to keep asking yourself, "Is it real? Am I just imagining it?" We're taught to ask those self-doubting questions as we grow up in this culture. Remind yourself that it's OK to trust your feelings. And it may take a long time to sort out those feelings. Grieving takes as long as it takes. There is no need to rush.


Blessings to you, and your friend.

Alder[/QUOTE]

Dear Alder,

I don't know when (or if) you will come back to this site. I has been a long time you have written, and I was not aware of it. Thus, only came back accidentally, recently. If you come back, could you, please, answer my question, please?

I really do like my friend and I am grateful for her kindness, even if her messages could not be further from my mom character, it is still good to speak about her. And my friend listen. I love her for that, too. But I realised a long time ago, that no message would come through her, as nothing her said felt right. Maybe she is looking from a wrong angle, her sight distorted by eagerness and kindness to help me.

I respect her for that, too. But the stories she told me made me yearn from something, any message from my mom. She is trying but came up with answers that is like coming from a stranger, nothing reminds me of my mom, she cannot provide anything I can cling to. I have told you, many times, I do not blame her, I will never laugh at her, or tease her, or anything. She doesn't even know, that I am doubted her. It will stay that way!

But, my heart, my soul aches from something, some message from her.

At least, if you could try to explain what you said. If I do not understand it now, it is OK, as I said, I will memorise it, and will understand in time. Please, give me something to cling onto, besides April's wonderful message. What you hinted on is beyond what April said. May I know it, please?

One more thing, if I can tell you, please.

I have either very few dreams, or forget it by the morning. But since I read your email, I think of my mom constantly. Praying, pleading, begging for some message from her, through you. And last night I had a very short dream.

I saw my mom's picture, the one I have in our bedroom. Next to it was a small, round, glass vase. We have that vase, but don't use it for years. The vase was full of the most beautil flowers, short stemmed, just at the top of the vase, sort of covering the top of it.
The flowers were similar to Periwinkle, but much, much larger, and the most beautiful pink colour.

That was all, just a glimps of my mom's picture, with the little vase full of the most beautiful, fresh, pink flower. I didn't felt any scent, just the short glimps. When I wake up, I could remember that sight, I loved it, and somehow, I felt better.

Was that any sort of a message, please?

Please, forgive my eagerness. Mom's anniversary is coming up, sadness is slowly increasing for me, as usually before holidays, birthdays, name days (we celebrate name days) and mother's day. I usually cry through them, still.

I know, it is too much to ask, and probably you might hate me for it. Please, don't!

God bless you, whether you answer, or not, I am grateful for your kindness.

Liasdaughter.

[xoxaprilwine]

Well, I think when he say's "but because of your feeling her there in your heart"... its like when I said "your heart will smile". You will know and since everyone experiences something different... because our connections are different I can't tell you how... just trust that you will. For example, last week I had a friend of mine bring her boyfriend by... after they left and I talked to my friend I said "I feel that his Grandma is very close, she was almost over his shoulder and I had a sense of lilac, has she passed or passing" (meaning ill - I acknowledge lilac with death). And she said, "his grandmother is extremely ill and they don't think she will make it why?" I said "he should visit her more often, she has something to tell him". Even though his grandma has not passed; she can still send messages (this is also an example of the bond/connection). So though he had no idea, his grandma was still making the connection.

I know you feel pain but you won't get messages by asking or praying for them. Know she is there. As it goes for the dream. I haven't looked into the flower meaning but I am going to ask you... have you visited her resting place or held a memorial lately? Maybe you should plant a tree for her in her memory at the nearest state park (if they have those services in the states).

[Alder]

Hello, Liasdaughter! So sorry to leave you hanging for a week or two there. Sometimes between health, caring for parents, caring for children, career, I end up being away from this site longer than I would like, particularly because I don't want to just disappear in the middle of a conversation with someone. Anyway, my apologies for the delay.

If I understand your question, you were responding to my comment that you would sense the presence and love of your mother on a personal "heart" level, even though it might be in a way that would be hard to explain or understand in words; and you had asked me how you would know when that happened, what form it would take?

Boy! Tough question! The truth is, it's different for everyone. It's what works well for you. Everyone is capable of many kinds of spiritual awareness. It's not like some people in our world are psychic or magical, and others are not--are, well, muggles. Everyone can live a spiritually meaningful life, everyone can find their own way of tuning into that inner voice or feeling we call intuition.

The hardest lesson for most of us is learning to use our imaginations, learning to not be afraid to play with it. We were all taught that if I am imagining something, that means it's not real. But imagination is useful. Imagination lets us see patterns in things, and put random bits of data together into meaningful ways. In other words, scientists use it to imagine theories and behavior of atoms and so forth, so they can explain what they see in their laboratories. Often when it comes to spiritual matters, you know something to be true--like knowing that the love you and your mother share is stronger than death--but you know it on such a deep-down level that it is hard for you to give it some form that you can see or explain. So you use your imagination to give you something your conscious waking mind can hold onto. In other words, you are using your imagination to put an image on, put clothes on top of, something that underneath is very real.

You said something very insightful regarding your friend: That she believes in the spiritual experiences she has, but she may be seeing these things merely because she desires so badly to see them. Well, that's a tricky thing. Because our intuitive senses and our ability to imagine and dream are so closely connected, it is always a challenge to separate the role our own desires play in our experiences. Heck, that is true even if we are dealing with flesh and blood people, instead of spirits. How many times have you had a friend who thought her boyfriend was just wonderful, when everyone around her could tell he wasn't so great. She was letting her own yearning for a fulfilling relationship color her judgment.

Sure, we're all susceptible to letting our desire make us see things, and, just as likely, sometimes when we want to have a spiritual experience, we yearn for it so much we can't relax into the open, intuitive state of mind we need in order to actually have that experience. I'm sure you've heard the expression "inner peace"? Well, that's what it's all about. The way you do it is to let yourself be silent on the inside, just sit back and trust and be patient, and let your intuitive knowing of your mom's presence happen. Notice I said "let it happen." You can't "make it happen." The harder you try, the less you succeed.

Which brings us to your dream. Your dream of the flowers, of course, answers the question you asked me about the form that your mother's presence in your life would take. You wrote on this site, "I believe in dreams," and declaring that to the Universe did the trick. In response, you received this very beautiful dream about the flowers. You are entitled to believe that this dream came from your mother, that this was her answering your call and your wish. She sent you flowers.

So now you have the opportunity to make this dream real in your own life. Go get some flowers and put them in that vase, and put it next to your mother's picture. Then every day when you see them you can say, "Thanks for the flowers, Mom! I got the message, and I love you too." Then you can rest easy knowing that your mom is keeping the connection of love strong on her end, and you have done all you need do to keep it strong on your end. You have, in effect, hit the "reply" button in response to the dream-mail message she sent you. She might send you more dreams, and it's okay if you want her to, but try not to get into a state of yearning so desperately for a dream from her that you actually disrupt your own brain from being able to do it. Dreams often come from things not fully worked out yet, and if you manifest the flowers in your life, in your home, then no more dream may be necessary.

I hope this answers the question of is it real, how do I know if it's real? What we are doing is turning it around so you are the one in control: You have the right to make it real in your own life by believing in it and by making it real for yourself--by buying "real" flowers that you can "really" see and touch and even had to spend real money to get (in our culture, if you spent money on it, it must be real, right?). You get to choose to make it real for you by your own actions. There's a little part of your brain that handles the words and the numbers that will always doubt and say, but am I just tricking myself? And you may have other skeptical people in your life who say the same thing. Well, that's their business. You can choose to believe, and that's fine.

Here's the final point: The test of your beliefs is what you do with them. If your beliefs lead you to live a wonderful, vibrant, meaningful life of reaching your full potential and showing kindness and compassion for all beings you meet, then they are good beliefs, regardless of whether they are "real" according to some skeptic's analysis. The final test of whether your ancestors are fully manifesting in your life is whether you make something beautiful out of your life.

Well, it's like I said--your own experience trumps anything I or anyone else here can say. Your own dream is a better response than anything we can give you. In our culture, you might feel pressured to say, "It's just a dream, it doesn't give me all the answers." But you don't have to look at it like that. You're free to instead accept the dream as a gift, and to honor it and bring it into your waking life.

[xoxaprilwine]

Great points Alder! Carefully thought out and beautifully delivered as always. I hope your doing OK and staying balanced with everything going on.

Best regards,

[Liasdaughter]

Hello, Liasdaughter! So sorry to leave you hanging for a week or two there. Sometimes between health, caring for parents, caring for children, career, I end up being away from this site longer than I would like, particularly because I don't want to just disappear in the middle of a conversation with someone. Anyway, my apologies for the delay.

If I understand your question, you were responding to my comment that you would sense the presence and love of your mother on a personal "heart" level, even though it might be in a way that would be hard to explain or understand in words; and you had asked me how you would know when that happened, what form it would take?

Boy! Tough question! The truth is, it's different for everyone. It's what works well for you. Everyone is capable of many kinds of spiritual awareness. It's not like some people in our world are psychic or magical, and others are not--are, well, muggles. Everyone can live a spiritually meaningful life, everyone can find their own way of tuning into that inner voice or feeling we call intuition.

The hardest lesson for most of us is learning to use our imaginations, learning to not be afraid to play with it. We were all taught that if I am imagining something, that means it's not real. But imagination is useful. Imagination lets us see patterns in things, and put random bits of data together into meaningful ways. In other words, scientists use it to imagine theories and behavior of atoms and so forth, so they can explain what they see in their laboratories. Often when it comes to spiritual matters, you know something to be true--like knowing that the love you and your mother share is stronger than death--but you know it on such a deep-down level that it is hard for you to give it some form that you can see or explain. So you use your imagination to give you something your conscious waking mind can hold onto. In other words, you are using your imagination to put an image on, put clothes on top of, something that underneath is very real.

You said something very insightful regarding your friend: That she believes in the spiritual experiences she has, but she may be seeing these things merely because she desires so badly to see them. Well, that's a tricky thing. Because our intuitive senses and our ability to imagine and dream are so closely connected, it is always a challenge to separate the role our own desires play in our experiences. Heck, that is true even if we are dealing with flesh and blood people, instead of spirits. How many times have you had a friend who thought her boyfriend was just wonderful, when everyone around her could tell he wasn't so great. She was letting her own yearning for a fulfilling relationship color her judgment.

Sure, we're all susceptible to letting our desire make us see things, and, just as likely, sometimes when we want to have a spiritual experience, we yearn for it so much we can't relax into the open, intuitive state of mind we need in order to actually have that experience. I'm sure you've heard the expression "inner peace"? Well, that's what it's all about. The way you do it is to let yourself be silent on the inside, just sit back and trust and be patient, and let your intuitive knowing of your mom's presence happen. Notice I said "let it happen." You can't "make it happen." The harder you try, the less you succeed.

Which brings us to your dream. Your dream of the flowers, of course, answers the question you asked me about the form that your mother's presence in your life would take. You wrote on this site, "I believe in dreams," and declaring that to the Universe did the trick. In response, you received this very beautiful dream about the flowers. You are entitled to believe that this dream came from your mother, that this was her answering your call and your wish. She sent you flowers.

So now you have the opportunity to make this dream real in your own life. Go get some flowers and put them in that vase, and put it next to your mother's picture. Then every day when you see them you can say, "Thanks for the flowers, Mom! I got the message, and I love you too." Then you can rest easy knowing that your mom is keeping the connection of love strong on her end, and you have done all you need do to keep it strong on your end. You have, in effect, hit the "reply" button in response to the dream-mail message she sent you. She might send you more dreams, and it's okay if you want her to, but try not to get into a state of yearning so desperately for a dream from her that you actually disrupt your own brain from being able to do it. Dreams often come from things not fully worked out yet, and if you manifest the flowers in your life, in your home, then no more dream may be necessary.

I hope this answers the question of is it real, how do I know if it's real? What we are doing is turning it around so you are the one in control: You have the right to make it real in your own life by believing in it and by making it real for yourself--by buying "real" flowers that you can "really" see and touch and even had to spend real money to get (in our culture, if you spent money on it, it must be real, right?). You get to choose to make it real for you by your own actions. There's a little part of your brain that handles the words and the numbers that will always doubt and say, but am I just tricking myself? And you may have other skeptical people in your life who say the same thing. Well, that's their business. You can choose to believe, and that's fine.

Here's the final point: The test of your beliefs is what you do with them. If your beliefs lead you to live a wonderful, vibrant, meaningful life of reaching your full potential and showing kindness and compassion for all beings you meet, then they are good beliefs, regardless of whether they are "real" according to some skeptic's analysis. The final test of whether your ancestors are fully manifesting in your life is whether you make something beautiful out of your life.

Well, it's like I said--your own experience trumps anything I or anyone else here can say. Your own dream is a better response than anything we can give you. In our culture, you might feel pressured to say, "It's just a dream, it doesn't give me all the answers." But you don't have to look at it like that. You're free to instead accept the dream as a gift, and to honor it and bring it into your waking life.

A rare and wonderful insight into life's journey. May the Lord help you in yours, too ! You made mine easier. Thank you !

[secretive]

What she could have saw could be very true. There are spirits that roam around you every day, except you have to really believe in them. If you don't believe in spirits and ghosts then most likely you won't see any or hear them or even see an orb. I have had plenty of paranormal stories and I'm totally comfortable about them. If you don't believe just don't judge.

[Spirit1966]

I don't believe that a persons illness carries over to the other side. The flesh is nothing but a shell . Our spiritual bodies shouldn't feel physical pain. I also have a uncle that claims he talks to the dead. He is a no nonsense type of guy. He has always been a straight shooter. But I still have my doubts. They never give you a direct answer to your questions. Always kind of vague. Sometimes you want to believe so badly, but there answers just are not solid. I think your mother would have passed on something that you would definitely know it is her. Im not sure how well you know this girl, but keep your eyes open.

[Liasdaughter]

I don't believe that a persons illness carries over to the other side. The flesh is nothing but a shell . Our spiritual bodies shouldn't feel physical pain. I also have a uncle that claims he talks to the dead. He is a no nonsense type of guy. He has always been a straight shooter. but I still have my doubts. They never give you a direct answer to your questions. Always kinda vague. Sometimes you want to believe so badly, but there answers just are not solid. I think your mother would have passed on something that you would definitely know it is her. Im not sure how well you know this girl, but keep your eyes open.

Great combination: open mind + common sense